You Don’t Need to Be Loud to Be a Real Man with Dal Houston

MM Dal Houston

Hector [00:00:00] Dal, welcome to the Modern Masculinity Podcast. Thanks for being here.

Dal Thanks, , , I appreciate the, , opportunity.

Hector One thing we always ask our guests is to take us into their world. And you are a lawyer, a husband partner. You have Sort of this brand and mission. You know, you're doing lots of things. , Hopefully you're not insulted by the word eccentric, but you might, you know, you might call yourself someone of eccentric interests, you know, very, very diverse interests.

Hector , With all that being said, what sort of challenges as a man, in your stage of life, are you still going through.

Dal at my stage in life, going through a lot of stuff, I think times have changed and are changing on as to what men are, what is expected of men, what men can imagine themselves being. And at the same time, I'm hitting [00:01:00] an age where. , Traditionally you are slowing down, so to speak, in general terms, and, I find myself wanting to do just the opposite.

Dal I'm wanting to speed it up. I'm wanting to

Dal grab the world and go for it, if that makes sense. Hector?

Hector One of the things as I was sort of prepping for this interview that I noticed about your message and some of the content that you've put out is, I think there was a video on your website with something to the effect of pink is. Color that guys can wear, or pink is not a girl color or, Something like that. And I remember as a kid being, I don't know, maybe 12, 13 years old and wanting to get like a pink Lacoste shirt because I thought it was cool, and having to sort of wrestle with. You know, I had the older cousins who would go, oh, that's [00:02:00] gay. what are you wearing a pink shirt for?

Hector And thankfully my mom was somebody who, you know, she was like, will you wear whatever you wanna wear? You know? And I was able to grapple with, this discussion or this idea that masculinity is not one. Color or shade like that is not represented in the colors that you wear or the clothes that you wear, but there's something actually deeper behind and. You seem to express that in a really unique way through fashion. And so I'm just curious, I'd love to know when did that begin and, and were there any challenges that you

Hector sense of.

Dal I actually kind of got a sense of fashion probably. In my mid twenties. And it's really bizarre 'cause I was a farmer. I started out as a only wanting to be a farmer, rancher, cowboy. that's all I wanted to be. And I [00:03:00] was a pretty shy guy. And between high school and, , that age, I'd only had a couple of dates and I was really shy and I kind of learned.

Dal That I could communicate through fashion but I primarily was just as a cowboy, farmer, rancher. 'cause was kind of in that, realm, Then when I went to college, it was in the eighties. And that was kind of the preppy age. And I, and there was something that really, really appealed to me about that.

Dal , My dad had always wanted me to kind of be a, gentleman but when it really kicked in was probably 10 years ago. And, , you know, was working out hard, , and, I knew through my farming and the ranching and, that kind of stuff, that, and I'm not bragging, it's, kind of odd to hard to try and talk about yourself, but, , that I was tough enough to do whatever I wanted, you know, that physically I was tough and [00:04:00] strong I just started, , kind of developing my own style and.

Dal It was a challenge because you are putting yourself out there in a whole different way. If you have seen my fashion and you know, there are people looking at you going, what in the hell is up with this guy? You know, I went to a UFC fight, some people come up and say, man, hey, you got it going on.

Dal And some people look at you like you had two heads, you know, I looked at it and said, you know, this is what I like and I really can't give a, damn about what somebody else thinks. it's not about trying to impress somebody. It's not about, some people look at you and try and think you're trying to gather attention. It's not, it's just, it just kind of a way of expressing yourself and saying, this is who I am, and at the same time saying, you know, I am not going to [00:05:00] be.

Dal What people think they're entitled to their opinions. and it's kind of cool to have a lot of young people come up and say, Hey man, you know, give you a high five or man, you got it going on. And it's like, you know, you feel pretty good about it. and again, I'm not doing it for compliments, but it feels pretty good.

Dal But, but at the same time, you know, people are looking at you going, what the hell is going on with this guy? He's, different. You know, and again, I'm not doing that to expressly do that. It's, it's not an intentional deal where I'm saying I want to be different. It's just that I am different I think we are all different and all have unique qualities and things. We just honestly. Are scared and worried to express 'em. You know, what are people gonna say? Whether it be I'm expressing myself through clothes, I'm expressing myself through words, what I think, what I say, and [00:06:00] at some point, I think man's role is to just say, you know, I gotta express it.

Dal And that is what it's.

Hector Yeah, the listeners are gonna get their bingo cards out because I'm bringing up my Catholic thing early. We're only eight minutes into this recording, and so, . , they can mark off a, spot on their board early. But I remember going to Catholic school and we wore uniforms. And so there was a, distinct sort of repression of that, , expression, if you will.

Hector And I'm only, I'm 33 and I look at my closet I had to realize that. A lot of the stuff in my closet and in my drawers, I didn't really enjoy wearing and I didn't, like the way that I felt, and for the first, you know, three decades of my life, I sort of minimized the impact that that had on me and my identity and [00:07:00] my sense of self. I think that a big reason why I bring up the Catholic thing so much is because so much of what their programming is designed to do is to limit that self so that you can be a part of this whole We had, , Todd Michaels, , recently, and he talked about, you know, there being a, good Catholic God, and, that's its own conversation and a great conversation that we had.

Hector But in, the same way, there wasn't a lot of self-expression in that community and it, is so necessary for guys to be able to carry themselves in the way that you talked about. In order for them to be able to withstand those looks or withstand the snes or the comments or whatever it is that are gonna come when you're wearing something that makes you feel good, but not them feel good, it requires [00:08:00] a sense of, identity and strengthen that identity that I am only, finding.

Hector 33 years later, and perhaps that's early, maybe it's late. I feel like it's late, but I think it's something that a lot of guys don't think enough about. , Because, it, it wasn't something that we were taught to value. I.

Dal Hector, I would agree. I grew up in a, farming ranch in blue collar community and, household. And there wasn't, you know, a lot of. Encouragement of expression. Now, I will say I had a grandfather who was a, a rancher and, while it was in the ranching style, he was a real character and he was just almost bigger than life and he did kind of have.

Dal In his unique way of sense of style. And so I got that. desire from him. , Just that he was just, I. Like I said, he was, he was bigger than [00:09:00] life. but other than that, the community I grew up in and, love my, family and the community I did grow up in, not, I'm not, being critical of, it as a whole.

Dal But yeah, it there was very little room for uniqueness, and difference. And, , I have used it in a lot of ways and, to, see the world differently, to see men differently, to see what masculinity is, to see what myself is in this whole deal.

Dal and I realized, you know, just how much. Weird, , pressure and weird beliefs go into what makes a man think he's masculine or think he's appearing masculine or think he is masculine. That is just

Dal pretense. It's just play. . So, yeah, fashion style, however you wanna define it, has been a really, , a cool force in my life, , to kind of cut to the.

Hector Yeah, as I'm thinking. About it. [00:10:00] My challenge that was really a blind spot is wanting to sort of fit in and wanting to just kind of go with, with what's in or what everybody you know is looking, looking like, and thinking back to the story I told, you know, everybody was wearing lacrosse shirts, middle high school. It was that sense of self was really, it, it, it wasn't there. And I say all that because now as I'm thinking about what, what sort of personality do I, not personality, what sort of person do I want to embody? As within, so without, right. You know, the, that sort of hermetic saying that I've, I've, I've mentioned here a lot. , Why wouldn't [00:11:00] we put on clothes that we at least identify with, or at least signal, you know, signal to us who we are. And I think that that's a big part of it is as I'm sort of thinking about.

Hector What is, what is my style? If I tried to copy your style A, I don't know that it would feel, I don't know if it would look as good because you pull it off perhaps like no other, but it's your unique style and for me to, to, I think they call it like today the kids are calling it aura farming. Is is the, is the new technical term the kids are using to do that is sort of inauthentic and, and I can't help but think what Le would leave the guy feeling inauthentic in that sort of style as well.

Hector I.

Dal Well, I would agree. I mean, [00:12:00] you know, I, I, I like hearing, and I like the concept of, of being authentic means being. Authentic. I can't copy what Hector is. I now, I, I might find things I like about Hector, the way Hector thinks. Just certain things that I may say, Hey, that is pretty cool, and adapt that to me.

Dal And people may look at me and say, Hey, I like aspects of Dell, but you can't copy somebody else. And it come off as authentic. And you know, I wish. Somebody had told me when I was a young man, , and, and really, and, and, and, and as it, as it, as it applies to social life and that I, I really didn't even get started in a, a social life, so to speak, until my mid twenties.

Dal But I wish someone had said, you know, do not try to be [00:13:00] somebody else. Don't try to talk like somebody else. Don't try to. Mimic someone else, dress like someone else, be like someone else. Just be yourself. And if that, if people don't like you, well that's not the people that you're to be with. There will be people that like you as you are.

Dal And you know, I realize that, you know, you can't be everything to. Everyone, and frankly the people that you are trying to say, if, if I'm being inauthentic that you're trying to win over, honestly, I don't know that you would ever win them over. You know, first they're probably going to see through your, through your facade and, and even if they don't, I, you know, I think it just comes off.[00:14:00]

Dal And I, and I don't mean this in a, in a, in a, just a visual sense, but you know, deep down in your heart, you, you know, when somebody is, when it's an act and it's the real thing. And so, . Yeah, I, and, but I really love the stuff that's being talked about, being authentic, but it truly means you have to be authentic in, in what is authentic to me or to you or to somebody else, is not the same to us.

Dal , And so, , yeah. ,

Dal I, I, I would agree.

Dal Hector,

Dal Hector, I lost your sound,

Dal Hector, I I don't have any audio for you.

Hector How about now? Can you still not

Dal [00:15:00] Okay. Hector.

Hector Wonderful Victoria. We'll have to, to stitch that together. , Do what are some, perhaps classical is not the right word that I'm trying to, to think, to, to use, but what are some fashion know hows. That guys my age, you know, we're, we're heading into our thirties. We sort of lived through the beginnings of fast fashion where, you know, everything was from Target or JCPenney.

Hector The, the, , what, what is the, , planned obsolescence is, is what we sort of, our childhood was made out of, you know, things that were sort of made to break. I think that as you, you grow older, , you know, [00:16:00] well, hopefully you, you sort of move out of that. What might be some things that you've learned over the years that you know, you might impart to a, a young 30 something year old who's, who has no idea about wearing nice clothes or wearing nice things or looking and feeling good if.

Dal So, so banks, you're kind of asking for some. Fashion advice. I, I, I take it that way. I'll kind of reframe the question that way. , You know, first you, you, you've got to figure out what you like. I, I, I was telling a guy the other day we had, was having a, a long conversation. This guy that, that that runs, , a consignment store that I got a lot of stuff from, and I, I was like, you know, a lot of young people right now.

Dal Wear something because somebody's saying, this is popular, this is in style, and, and you, and you [00:17:00] really look at it and you go and, and I've got a son in my twenties and I remember even as a young boy, they were gonna have school pictures or some kind of school program and, and my wife and him would, would talk about what he was gonna get.

Dal And, and, and he was always trying to get something that was in fashion right then, okay, this is what everyone's wearing. And I'm like, I have a joke. I said, have you looked at these other kids and looked how. Bad. They look, I'm sorry, I, I don't mean to be mean, but you know, from a, just a visual sense. It's like, what?

Dal Well, this, you know, you're, these are the kind of pictures and, and, and my pictures the same way. You know, you look back at your high school yearbook and you go, oh my gosh, I don't wanna see that. And you, and, and so one of the things I would say fashion wise, if you're looking forward for saying, Hey, [00:18:00] well what, what do I need to look at is to say.

Dal What will this picture of me, if I take a picture of me today and I look at it 10 years from now, will I. And so, , you know, you, you've gotta find your own, your own thing. But, but I do not look for what's in fashion right now. What's new? I, I go to some of the stores and, and, and I, I, I, I, I know enough about myself to say.

Dal I don't like that. I don't care. You know, the salesman says, oh, this is very popular, very pop. I really don't care if it's popular or not. If it's not me and I don't like it, it's fine. I won't wear it. , On the other hand, there's things that I'd like that may never be in style again, , and maybe haven't been in style for, for years.

Dal But if I look at it and I say, you know, I like [00:19:00] that. I don't care if it's in style or not. So part of me, it would, my advice to a younger person and, and I'd say style wise, is to say, first figure out kind of what you like and don't pay attention to whether or not it is something that's modern.

Hector might someone do that? How might someone find out what they like? Because I think that's even, I'm in, I'm in that stage where I don't even know what I like. I. For so long. I came from the, the le I'll wear a school uniform, I'll have my mom dress me, oh, let me wear whatever, but whatever's cool.

Hector Oh, you know, and so there was this never a really an opportunity to develop my own style. And so, so do you have any thoughts on, on how,

Dal You know,

Hector even start to, to taste some of

Dal the really, the only thing I can [00:20:00] say to that is just look around at other people and maybe older people or younger people. And say, oh, and maybe even, you know what? It, what I, I, I did a few videos on what inspired me the most kind of in my fashion deal and, and, and, and, and as I was kind of trying to figure out, move out of farming and ranching and into something else, , in my mid twenties.

Dal I, long story, and I won't go into it, but I went to this old mansion that this oil Baron had built, and course it was incredible. I mean, it was just like out of, , the Italian Renaissance. I mean, just, just incredible. He had, he had brought in artists from Europe and I mean, it was, this place is incredible, but one of my most.

Dal [00:21:00] Inspiring moments was I walked out into the gardens and he had had a a, a a, a stump statue of his adopted son, mate, and he was wearing a pair of writing pants and English writing boots from the mid 1920s when they played a lot of polo and, and that type of stuff. And so. Honestly, Utah. I mean, it was just like, wow, this, you know, obviously for a 25-year-old cowboy, rancher, farm kid, blue collar, you know, I, I clearly not down my line, but I saw this and I was like, wow.

Dal You talk about just hitting you as far as style goes and say what a look. The other thing, , one of my inspirational moments was.

Hector it's, it's [00:22:00] interesting. I, I just wanna hop in there and just commend you, Dale. 'cause it's, that story is interesting. So when the listeners go and look up your, you know, just you and your, your fashion and all the places, you know, go check his socials and all that sort of stuff, , his content. You know, I, I thought like, oh, a regal cowboy.

Hector Like that's sort of how I, I saw it was this sort of, you know, mix of, , that, that almost like, , you know, British red Coat sort of regality and the, the rustic cowboy, you know, you sort of put that together well, , and, and.

Dal Well, and that's kinda my look, you know, I, I, I, there's, there's this big, I, I don't know whether you would call it English influence, European influence, and at the same time, just my homegrown cowboy, I. Life. And so, yeah, I don't know if I can [00:23:00] combine them. Well, that's for someone else to decide. , I combine 'em how I like it.

Dal , And so again, I, you know, whether, whether it's a, a good look or a bad look. It's my look, I guess. And, , and yeah. , So, but, but, but, but, but, but here I borrowed a. That hasn't been, that was in the mid eighties when I discovered that and, and the statute was made in the mid twenties. That is a look that is 60 years old when I found it.

Dal And I'm like, wow, that is cool. I mean, that is really cool. And it took a long time to get the nerve to wear something like that. It did. , And, and occasionally it still takes a lot of nerve to go out in public like that, but, you know, I like it. And so, , you know, , and, and, and, and I look at it as a challenge to say, you know, I am [00:24:00] doing what I want to do and I'm not letting.

Dal Other people's opinions dictate what I do. I'm just doing what I want. , It doesn't hurt anybody and it is expressing me and whatever,

Dal whatever that is truly expressing. And, and I'll be honest, not, not to, to drive off the subject to another direction, but, but. Of, of us and our soul that exists in each one of us that we don't know and have never discovered that, you know, sometimes I'm not even sure what we are trying to express or, or are our subconscious is trying to express.

Dal So, , anyway, , kind of what went off topic there, but, , but I, I hope that's helpful to

Hector Well, I'm glad. I'm glad you, I'm glad that you pulled on a different thread because I. Think that, think that [00:25:00] something I am realizing is that, you know, I I, I talk about minimizing the importance of it and I don't want to get too tinfoil hat, but I think that there is something, , intentional about.

Hector Making kids wear uniforms, you know, there, that's, that there's something whether, whether they are intentionally depriving that uniqueness and individuality, or that is simply a byproduct of them just trying to run, you know, around a school for x amount of hundreds of years and realizing they need to keep these kids in mind, whatever. But I remember talking to, , a good friend, her name is, , Diana Divine Light is her name. And she goes to the same sort of spiritual center. I do. And she said that I, she said I always wear red because, you know, it grounds me. And she says she's always up, you know, she's someone always up in the clouds and she has all these ideas [00:26:00] and she needs something to really ground her.

Hector And that, you know, wearing red clothes, which I made a comment, which brought up her, her response. And that was, it was a, something energetic and. You know, you can get as, I don't know how woo woo people wanna get, but there's something to, you know, the, the energy of, of specific colors and whether it's colors or, you know, you, I noticed you wear a lot of, , maybe, I don't know if leather is the right word, but there's a lot of, you know, high like.

Hector You feel it feels very grounded. And I, and I think, I think that guys can sort of start to see that, whether it is through the colors or the materials or, you know, whatever it is, that, that there are some, some larger impacts and effects, even if it's just this sort of expression that comes out with us. , But that these things are also happening too.[00:27:00]

Dal I, I, I would agree. I would agree. And you know, and this might be a little off topic, but I think it's an important thing to say and that is, you know, I. And, and tomorrow we're recording this on Thursday. Tomorrow's Friday and Friday is the day I do not go to the office and I'm normally at the farm that, you know, so I'll be in my work clothes, but even in my work clothes.

Dal , Yeah, I, I, I always wear tall top cowboy boots and a hat and, and, and, and it, I say this, yeah, you know, you're out working with livestock and manure and all kinds of stuff, but still buy by just saying, you know, I'm going to, with a little, a little swagger, whatever you.[00:28:00]

Dal It kind of elevates life. It just elevates life. , And whether you're going say to dinner, , with, with your family, it's not just about going, in my opinion, at least going to eat. 'cause you are hungry if you're going out. It's, it's to make it an event and to make it special. And, and yeah. Whether it be certain colors energize you or certain styles energize you, it is for me, I found it takes a lot of the ordinary and elevates and, and, and we so many people, whether it be men or women, talk about.

Dal How disillusioned they are with life and their, the, their excitement in life or whatever. [00:29:00] Clearly there is a need for a lot of people to have a lot more excitement and adventure just in the normal run of the mill, day-to-day stuff, just to somehow elevate it. I, I may have went off, off topic a little Hector.

Dal If I did, I apologize, but I think that's something that needs to be said. , You know, I.

Hector Well, it, it's interesting just to contrast the ideologies. I remember hearing, I. People like Mark Zuckerberg and Barack Obama, they, they wear the same thing, right? I think Barack Obama was famous for having like one, one suit or one tie or something like that. And you know, Zuckerberg famously had his, his t-shirt.

Hector And I remember growing up and there was the cartoon, Doug, and in the intro, you know, [00:30:00] Doug opened his closet and he's got the same. Screen shirt and brown pants, something like that. But it was just this idea of wearing the same thing because it was easier and it was smarter and it was more efficient. And I tried that for a little while and I realized that perhaps it may be those things.

Hector And it is also, , soul deafening. It really, it really, you know, stagnates the expression. I.

Dal Yeah, I, there is this, this.

Dal I don't, I, I would say the world, but you know, hey, you know, we've, we, we've, you know, we're trying to be so efficient and we are trying to be so practical in so many ways that at some point, [00:31:00] yes, you may be efficient. Yes, you may be practical, but. Is that fun? Is that exciting? Does that, does that bring joy to your life?

Dal , Does it bring interest to your life? And, and I, I know for me, if I did that, it would be sucking the life out of me. , It. And nothing against him. If that, if that's, if that's their thing. Okay, fine. I That's cool that they're, they're, , they're doing it. But to say, Hey, this, this is for everybody and this is the way it should be, , is just, well, one of, one of the main tenets of my thought.

Dal On, on life, whether it be just life as a human being or, or [00:32:00] life as a man or masculinity is, is there so many beliefs that we just accept? Wholeheartedly. And, and, and, and a lot of times if it's coming from someone who, like Martin Zuckerberg is, , you know, incredibly wealthy, we just, we just accept it that he, he is successful.

Dal And if he's saying this is the way to do it. We do it, but, but, but we're, we're getting a lot of stuff all mashed together. 'cause the mere fact that he knows how to make a lot of money does not necessarily reflect saying he knows how to live life and, and live it in a fun, happy, fulfilling why? . Barack Obama.

Dal He's a, seems like a different story than that. He seems to be a pretty, pretty laid back guy. But, but, but, you know, .

Dal That's just not the way I would wanna live my life. And I, and, and, and, and again, if, [00:33:00] if, if that's how somebody really, truly feels on that school, that's their thing. But, but, but to set the example, and I think so many people fall right into that trap saying, well, if Mark Zuckerberg does this and he's worth how many billion dollars, and this must be the way to go.

Dal Does that make sense, Victor?

Hector Well, what you said makes sense. I don't know if, if the, I, I'm still parsing through, you know, the, the programming that's out there and how, how they've made seem to make that make sense. One of the questions that I'm curious about is your. Your way of integrating all the different things that you have going on.

Hector You mentioned Friday's, not the Friday's, the day that you don't go to the office, you are a lawyer, you are a, you know, a farmer, a rancher, you know, you're, you're still, you're doing all these different roles [00:34:00] and you're still doing them well into, you know, well into your life. What sort of philosophies, ideals, beliefs, , have allowed you to sort of sustain those things through the long haul?

Dal You know,

Dal I, I, I've always had this.

Dal I'll call it weird, strange ability to, to hear something or see something and, and even as a small child, I would go, huh, this doesn't make sense. And so if this, if I can explain this is somewhat convoluted, but, but, but. [00:35:00] As an attorney, I've set and I've helped lots of people do their estate plan and, and then unfortunately when they pass away, I do their estate administration and it, it is so sad to see.

Dal What people have focused on in their lifetime. This was thinking, this is important, making another dollar is important, buying another investment's important, whatever. And then ultimately seeing that, that, that, that all that work being distributed out a lot of times to maybe family members who don't care.

Dal So I, I, I see kind of see, see through stuff. And, and it was just always, you know, I, I, I, I'm like, why does aging, and I [00:36:00] don't even mean mean aging into your sixties, but I mean, aging into your thirties or forties have to be like, people do it.

Dal And so I've always just, I've, I'm, I've kind of been an introvert most of my life and, and still am, but I've always had this challenging, challenging aspect of me to, to challenge the status quo. And I don't know if this will help answer the question, but, but my dad died a few years ago and he was in his early nineties.

Dal And as, as he got older into his mid seventies, he would talk about how he had climbed the rope to the middle of the, to the top of the gymnasium when he was in, in, in junior high. And, and I'd worked with my dad [00:37:00] on the farm and I knew my dad would, was an incredibly strong man. And, and he had, he. He was outta shape though, and he was carrying probably 50, 60 pounds of, of extra weight.

Dal But as he got older, he would tell that story over and over and over again, how proud he was and, and, and, and I always thought as he was telling that story, I was like, you know, there is no reason why. Even in his seventies, as strong as he was and as fit as he was, why he didn't just say, I'm gonna lose some weight and I am still capable of, of, you know, he'd have to train and work.

Dal I could climb that rope again. And I'm like. It's one thing to brag, I, I did this in junior high. It's another to brag and say, I climbed the rope to the top of this thing at 75. [00:38:00] And so I, I've taken of that view of life. My mother was always kind of challenging age. She just hated aging. And, and I'm like, you know, I, I find that I'm strong yet.

Dal And so I pushed myself and I'm like, you know what? I, , aging does not have to be like, Hey, I'm just gonna sit in my chair and watch TV and let the world pass. So I, I, I, I, I, I, that's probably a very long-winded answer to your question. But, but a lot of it is just, I be, I am not ready to give up. I think there is so much more life for anybody.

Dal I, I and, and I, and this is going to, to even, I see kids in their twenties that act like their [00:39:00] 50, that that move, like they're 50 that are so soft. And I'm like, man. Do something and, and, and, and I wish I had, had somebody fire me up and just say, you know, I, I, I, if, if I would've had some inspiration in my, my twenties, oh my gosh, I tell you what, , well, I'd probably be in trouble, but, but, but my gosh, I mean, there's just so much life out there.

Dal That we're leaving on the table. There is, and it's like, I am damned if I'm at this age, I'm gonna leave it on the table. , Again, I don't know if that answered your question, Hector. I know it's kind of roundabout, but, but it's just this challenge to say, I don't think life has to be what so many people are living.

Dal And, and, [00:40:00] and when you hear people talk about dissatisfaction, and it seems like nearly every guy, especially every guy I talk, it's just really dissatisfied with their life, with their career and the excitement. I'm just like, man, yeah, I, I know it's just not me. 'cause people are telling me this, nearly everybody I meet and, and it's like, man, I don't wanna be like that.

Hector Yeah, I, I can relate and I, I think one of my unique gifts is, is sort of having a, a unique sense of empathy and compassion for you to, to, to the detriment sometimes. But that's in the past I. Because I, I can see how easy it is for me to be distracted. You know, I've talked about it re on the show a couple times, but I, I've had to delete media for the most part off of my phone because I would [00:41:00] just sit there and scroll my life away.

Hector Be, and, and it was, it was a, it, it was more numbing to do that than to sort of face. Whatever was going on that was preventing me from doing what I actually wanted to do. So instead of wrestle with my procrastination or wrestle with my fears and anxieties about whatever it is, you know, na name it, work, career relationships, par like, you know, you can kind of pick your, the, the place that you're not. Living to your fulfillment or your sort of going along with what everybody says you should be doing instead of doing what you actually want to do. And, and I can only imagine that at least the guys that are listening to this show are sort of waking up to that. And thankfully we have people like you who are role models.

Hector And really set [00:42:00] the who, who have been so willing to go against the grain and to stand out from the crowd. , Because you really create a new standard or create a new, , you know, you set a new standard for, for people to. Aspire to, and maybe they're not gonna look as good as you do, but even if they just start to care a little bit more about how they look, I think that that's going to be so, so impactful for them and the people that they provide and protect for.

Dal Well, I hope so. I hope so. Yeah. I, you know,

Dal I, I don't know. I, I, I feel my calling into life is to inspire. People in, in, in, probably particularly men, you know, how many I inspire? [00:43:00] I don't know. I, I hope I inspire somebody. , , You know, 'cause I, I truly feel that's my calling. I, I, I, I, I really do feel like I. I, and I struggled with it for years. You were asking about, , finding your style.

Dal I was finding, I've struggled for years about trying to really find short of

Dal my passion for horses and cattle and that type of stuff. What was my calling in life? You know, what was I put here to do? And, , I, I, I, again, I don't know if my perspective is a good perspective or a bad perspective, but, but it, it's to at least say there is a different way to look at life than we are. , And, and how many people.

Dal That helps or changes. I don't know. , But, but I hope at least somebody [00:44:00] does 'cause I, because I really feel, I really do feel there just this

Dal overall just sadness about the world and, you know, and we should be, I mean, we are living at a time where we got technology where we can connect with. Someone across the world with an on an instant. We've got, I, I love all movies. We've got movies that are recorded, you know, that, that we can watch of nearly a hundred years of movies.

Dal We've got sports events. If you're like sports that, that are just endless. We can watch, we've got the internet to, to entertain us with. So in theory, and we can get on a plane and be across the world. We should be living at a point in time in our health and our, and our, and our health. Honestly, you know, when I was a young man, [00:45:00] people were dropping over dead, you know, life expectancy.

Dal I remember, you know, I was worried. I was very close to my grandfather and he got in his sixties, I was thinking, you know, is he gonna drop dead anytime with a heart attack? And now holy. Holy hell. I mean, we, you know, we got this, this ability that, that we can live into our eighties, nineties and, and in theory be pretty active people and we should all be happy about that.

Dal And there just seems to be this sadness and, and, and, and, and inability to.

Dal You know, we need to appreciate that and, and somehow realize and take advantage of that. And I just feel like so many people are not. , And myself included, a lot of times I, you know, don't, don't get me wrong, I, I'll be the first to point, , at myself and say, you know, there's a lot of [00:46:00] times, you know, I, I, I look and say, life's just not going like I want.

Dal And I think everybody does that from time to time. But overall, I think you gotta have the, have the opinion that, man, there are some great things out there. We are living in a, in an absolutely fantastic time. We really are. And I think we need to take advantage of it in, in, in so many ways.

Hector Yeah, absolutely. Dal, if I got two questions for you, , if people want to get more connected with you, follow up with you, get deeper in your world, where's the best place for them to go?

Dal Yes, , I, I, I, Instagram is a good way.

Dal , I, you, you mentioned earlier, , eccentric. I, I, I, I have a byline. I write, I write articles. I'm the eccentric cowboy, so I do [00:47:00] not take offense in being called eccentric. I'll be the first to say I'm eccentric, and, and I, and I embrace it. . I do have, , , , some, some videos up on, on YouTube and, , but, but probably the best way to connect with me is, is Instagram, and I do have a website too, dow houston.com.

Dal , And so, , and I, I, I encourage anyone who's interested to reach out, I'd love to visit with you and, and connect with people.

Hector Yeah, we'll link all that up. In the show notes, , Dal, my last question for you is, in your opinion, what is the definition of modern me?

Dal Oh, ,

Dal you know.

Dal Again, I think we're living in a, in a really cool time. I, I really, really do and, and life is offering us so much, and so [00:48:00] I look at man and masculinity. I. Like a stallion. I, I, I, I think men like need to be like a stud horse. I do. Now, that doesn't mean running over women. I.

Dal You know, I, I've got a daughter, I've got a wife that, that I, you know, I, I, and I want, my, my daughter is a very strong-willed person, and so I, I, I, I'm not like a lot of that stuff that you hear out masculinity saying, you know, Hey, it means the man taking back his role. So I, I, I say it's living.

Dal Your life, what you are supposed to do. You don't need to stop on somebody else's life. Live your life on your terms. [00:49:00] And I mean, live it hard and live it fun. , I'll say this, nice terms, grab life. Life by the testicles. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and don't just be.

Dal So today it, it seems like so many people are judging everybody by. How success financially successful they are. And it's like financial success defines masculinity. It almost is entwined and it's got nothing to do with one another. And so, you know, be a man. Be not just maybe a financial success, be a physical success, a parenting success.

Dal And I'm not talking about that old concept of being at all. 'cause you're never gonna be at all. You're never gonna be perfect.[00:50:00]

Dal You know, understand that.

Dal Be like a stud horse. And I dunno that, I dunno how that, that, you know, how that comes across. But, but I mean, you know, just, you know, I'd like to physically work hard and, and, and so it's not just about intellectual thought, it's not just about physical. It's combining all those factors together and saying, you know, I am, I am a force of a whole lot of things.

Dal So I, I, I, that's not a very clean definition of modern masculinity. But, but, but that would, in general terms, that would be it, is to, to understand there's so many different aspects of us and try to be part of each one [00:51:00] and integrate those. And again, just grabbing life by the testicles and just saying, man, I'm gonna ride this son of a bitch.

Dal As hard as I. But again, you don't, that doesn't mean you have to stomp on somebody else that, I mean, you don't have to do that. There's no reason to, you know, a lot of that, there's this, they call the term toxic masculinity and, and I believe there is toxic masculinity. It's about, Hey, I. I'm going to stomp on somebody else.

Dal Well, there's no need for that. You don't have to do that. I don't have to prove. You don't have to prove that I'm a man to somebody else. Man. Alls I gotta do is prove to myself I'm a man. That's the only person you gotta answer to is yourself. I don't have to show to. To the guy down the street or the guy in New York City or across the world.

Dal I'm a man. I.