Acceptance, Awareness, and Intention with Will Latif Little

[00:00:00] Fellas, what's going on? I hope this episode finds you well. And, and as always, my intention is to leave you better than when it found you. I'm honored and humbled that you're here today, excited to introduce you to someone who I have been, and I've had the pleasure to know for Almost a decade now and has made a big imprint on my journey, both personally and professionally because once again, like a lot of these episodes and what we're trying to do, I'm trying to show you models and I'm trying to show you men that step outside of the norm, right?

[00:01:04] Men that step outside of what, You typically think and associate with, and we don't get into it a whole lot on today's episode, but, in a previous life, our guest, Will Little, he was, running the streets of Philadelphia and, just trying to stay alive, trying to make it, trying to be somebody, right.

[00:01:22] Trying to do all the things that we were probably doing, he just happened to be dropped into one of the most dangerous environments and world, frankly, and was forced to survive. as a young man and, made some mistakes, did some time and really found himself and through that process has really helped a lot of people find themselves and save themselves from some of those, Catastrophic mistakes that, you know, he unfortunately went through cost him years of his life. And so we talk about a little bit of that, but also, okay, that happened. What are the lessons now? And now that you've kind of come back, you've completed the hero's journey story, if you will, now that you've sort of come back.

[00:02:00] what's the mission like now? So it's a great, fantastic conversation, but let's get into it with Mr. Will little.

[00:02:07] Will: Well, welcome to the modern masculinity podcast. It is, great. and an honor to be back with you again.

[00:02:13] Will: Yes. Yes. A pleasure. Pleasure.

[00:02:16] Hector: So one of the things that we do with all of our guests is we have them take them into their world. as a man, We take on a lot of roles. We have a lot of responsibilities that add to this weight that we as men kind of carry.

[00:02:27] Hector: And I knew I had this idea that we would, get to a place where all of a sudden that weight would be lifted and all of a sudden that things would get lighter and be easier. And as I've kind of matured as a man, I've realized that we, just sort of get stronger. the weight doesn't really go anywhere, but we find a better way to maneuver it. And so I'm curious for you as a man, as a father, you know, maybe as a partner, as a leader, you know, all these roles that you play, what challenges or struggles are you still, sort of working through.

[00:02:56] Will: I'll tell you this, right? I found the easy, effortless way to navigate life and mainly is, acceptance, awareness and intentional work, right? Purposeful work. life coach, my biggest, passion is helping people navigate it. Through some of those challenges that you just mentioned. So constantly people always saying like, therapists need help too. Therapists need support too. I was like, well, one, I'm not a therapist. And two, I did the math already. so things aren't supposed to get harder for you or stay challenging. Things are supposed to get easier and effortless because life is designed that way. Life is designed to be easy and effortless. You know, and it's us who make these things challenged, very challenging or difficult or hard.

[00:03:49] Hector: so I want to come back to you said acceptance awareness, and I think you had a, another one, cause I think That really is the key to it, but I'd love for you to share, for the audience who doesn't know your background and your history. When you think about in your life, the defining moments, as a man or, growing up in, some of the, toughest streets in America, or maybe even the world, and having to become a man and those sorts of things.

[00:04:17] Hector: When you look back on that, what sort of stories or what sort of experiences come to mind as formative in that sort of a journey?

[00:04:25] Will: Well, recently I just did my stage play. All right. I've been doing it for the last three months since June, July and August. And I went through my first book. I don't know if you remember the first book, Life and Times of a Little. All right. So, taking that journey through that book and then bringing it live on stage, like my one man show allowed me to time to really reflect on my life again, growing up, and those challenging days as a young kid growing up in a single parent home with four sisters.

[00:04:52] Will: Becoming a teenager, not being able to identify myself and who I was because my father wasn't around for me to identify myself mentally, emotionally, physically, or future wise, what it's going to be, what it's going to be like. So I talked about all those pivotal moments that shaped my life. Me as a teenager from my childhood, as a teenager to a young adult, and then now as a person who is focused on, who focused on at the age of 19 in prison, my healing journey, my forgiveness journey, and my purpose journey, and when the key, one of the keys that I use then, which is my acronym for keys is keep educating yourself.

[00:05:30] Will: One of the keys I used in was reflection, reflecting on the person who I became and those stages of my growth and life and why, what was I lacking or thought I was lacking? what things I was tapping into innately, not realizing these are my gifts, as a young kid, as a young child or as a young teen, I didn't be able to see it all come full circle.

[00:05:52] Will: Now, as a mature adult, who's been working on herself. Since the age of 19 years old, discovering more pieces of himself to be able to put those pieces together to complete the puzzle of my journey in life, So a lot of pivotal moments, things that happened. what took me from a state of being a quiet, young kid, innocent.

[00:06:13] Will: wanting to grow up to be a cop or police officer to that teenager who robs, steal, sold drugs, committed murder and things of that nature was some pivotal moments that shifted me in my childhood years that I reflected back on and seeing, what was I lacking? what was the voice that needed to be filled and some of the things that I dealt with, that know how to actually navigate and deal with and some of the belief systems, some of the practices, some of the, ideas that I picked up from my experiences that wasn't even mine, but becoming a product of my environment and that environment versus home.

[00:06:50] Will: And then the streets,

[00:06:51] Hector: Well, you talked about, you mentioned the word healing, and I know in the circles that we like be in, that's not a weird word, but for most men, gen pop sort of guys, the idea of healing something, I think seems, I don't know, feminine. Girly, like not for them sort of thing, but when I think about like, a man's man, like when I think about men, I think about will.

[00:07:16] Hector: And so how do you in your head, reconcile, being a man, a father holding all of these roles that you, talked about and then, with this idea of healing, how did those two come together?

[00:07:29] Will: well, basically just coming to the realization of living in the reality of life and not the illusion that we create in our own minds or the perception that we are given that men do and men don't certain things, right? Men don't cry, men take care of this and the providers. But these are all the definitions that defined by people who probably don't even look too deep into it to really understand it or know it.

[00:07:52] Will: So we pick up all these different ideas, and then make them a part of ours. But when you do your personal research, your personal development, your personal growth, you start to identify with the real you. and then healing is one of the things that, We never looked at it as a feminine thing.

[00:08:07] Will: We know that we get injuries all the time, especially in sports, right? We get physical injuries. We have physical trauma a lot of times. growing up young, I didn't know what emotional trauma was. That wasn't the thing. It was mostly normalized to be abused or, Verbally abused or physically abused or stressed out or being depressed.

[00:08:25] Will: That was a norm in our community. So we look at it as, trauma, but understanding my teenage years at 19 years old, when I was sitting at home during prison facing life or the death penalty. And I had my son. My son was born, eight months later, I began to look at, how can I prevent him from going down the same path that I went because my father wasn't there, And now I'm being a father myself. It's like I had to show him the way I had to give him direction. I had to give him guidance. And having that guidance and being able to do that first be before I could be a father, I had to be a man. And before I become a man, I had to heal myself. I mean, cause anything that operates in hurt only hurt other things, you know, hurt people, hurt people.

[00:09:07] Will: So healing was definitely a mandatory, for me, but first taking that inventory, check to see in what places I would hurt, where would I hurt? And my first hurt, I realized that it was abandonment of my father, not being in my life. It wasn't the physical pain or the emotional. That was the emotional pain.

[00:09:24] Will: That wasn't the physical pain or the verbal pain. And since you feel, but it was more of the emotional and not knowing that, not knowing of having that identity of self. I mean, which is all more confusing, growing up in an environment where it was all females and you see other young men with their fathers.

[00:09:39] Will: And they said, a father supporting them and their fathers behind their back or pushing them to be the best self. You don't have that motivation behind you. you got to discover all this for yourself.

[00:09:48] Hector: Yeah. When you were talking earlier, I was like, uh, Will is like just an advanced soul and he's just You just did all that in the previous life So they made it really tough for you So you just knock down all the pins one boom boom boom because I'm like there's so much healing so many things that you had to navigate and one of the things that I was curious about is, doing it in a time and a place and an environment, that is not necessarily conducive to where it's not the culture guys to be emotional or to, understand and work with their feelings.

[00:10:21] Hector: I, grew up in my family was Mexican or Mexican American, and there's a lot of, machismo. Culture there, Where it was, boys don't cry, and then also there were so many other things That you just like you said, you pull away from it and you don't even realize that you're taking that sort of mindset or you don't even realize that you're taking those perspectives.

[00:10:40] Hector: But one of them was not to deal with trauma. It seemed like there was a lot of lashing out a lot of, violence, a lot of, abuse, physical, you know, all those sorts of abuse, addiction, all these sorts of things, which kind of point to the fact that they didn't want to go in and heal.

[00:10:56] Hector: So, I'm, curious what, what it was like for you, going through that in prison, in an environment where that's not the norm. How were you able to still navigate that?

[00:11:06] Will: Well, I think it was more so. it was my first time even having a commitment to something like that, right? change or doing something different opposed to what I was used to our custom doing because the lifestyle lived. I loved it. I love selling drugs. I love being on the streets. I love carrying guns, you and getting a handle on business.

[00:11:22] Will: You can put it that way. I don't have street business. I love those things. But like I said, I wasn't, Living life. I was in survival mode, and when my son was born, it was more so now I got to live for him. He became my why, and because I didn't want what I've been through. I know how hard it was, how hurtful was and how scary it was.

[00:11:42] Will: You know, I don't want my son to have to go through that. If I had anything to do with that, you know, I believe that really taking a commitment to change. And that was something with a even. Today, I'm still how many years in 25 years in a personal development and still committed to it every day, right?

[00:11:59] Will: And I said, look at myself reflecting on myself. I had to make that commitment back then. It's hard for today, today, 20, 30, 40 years old to commit to their growth and change. Right? I said, me at a young age, 19 years old, 10th grade dropout committed to something. so deeply that all the things in the environment I was in the worst prison, still have my friends, my peers who were still there, who we still supported and ignorance and and enlightenment.

[00:12:26] Will: And so as well, you want to use that for lack of better terms is how was I was able to navigate myself? And my emotions, you know what I'm saying, because my anger problem, I had an anger problem. I had a justifiable problem. I would justify the things I do to people. so I won't feel remorse. I won't feel bad.

[00:12:40] Will: I won't feel shameful about those things. So even just getting to know myself, mean, and realizing I became somebody else, not the kid I knew I was, the quiet, shy kid. they want to do good. I was still parts of that too. I was still doing good things for people, but in my mind, I knew my psyche, I justified the things I did to people because of whatever they may have done to me, anything I've done backwards, warranted, I mean, in my own mindset, no matter how vicious it was or how dangerous it was, or how hurtful it was.

[00:13:11] Will: So just really coming to grips with, acceptance of myself, accepting me for who I was at the time.

[00:13:17] Hector: Yeah, you mentioned acceptance, at the beginning. I'm curious when I think about part of the journey that, men go through as, so it seems is that the universe or the world or whoever, you know, God bestows these sort of challenges on a, on a man that, kind of forces them to figure out who they are, And whether it's, having a kid sometimes, or it's a business or bankruptcy, it's like, you know, you're kind of push up against the ropes and you're forced to, go deep. and really figure out who you are, and and in that struggle, and oftentimes, the overcoming of that struggle, it's it becomes a real foundation to build upon, for me, live the quote unquote traditional life, which was, you know, go to school, get a good job, you know, wife, family, kids, and then all of a sudden, all of that sort of dissolves.

[00:14:06] Hector: And it's like, well, who are you if you don't have, The wife, who are you? If you're not, a happy family, who are you? If know, these things, aren't in place. and I think that it creates an opportunity to really, answer that question and then live out that question.

[00:14:19] Hector: And it seems like that's what you were talking about is this, you know, acceptance of who we are, not, who other people want us to be, not who we told that we were supposed to be, but actually who we are and being okay with that. And I think that for 31 years of my life, I was walking around being who somebody else wanted me to be, not who I wanted

[00:14:40] Hector: to be.

[00:14:41] Will: that's the thing with a lot of us, because we don't know who we are, the biggest crisis that we face is identity and we don't know who we are. So we have need to be a part of or be accepted. and different spaces, I mean, for that camaraderie or the connection, I mean that we want with people, I mean, and it's, granted.

[00:14:59] Will: This is what it's purposeful, right? Is this what we're created to be, unified and connected like everything else in creation? but when you're not able to identify with that, you know, you'll be out of alignment. Anything that's out of alignment, hurts. All right. So we go through pain. I got spent in my classes that we go through pain because pain is a part of life. Pain is the thing that puts you back into alignment when you fall out of alignment. We suffer because we choose not to obey the pain. All right. So if we didn't have pain, we wouldn't know that physical pain. We didn't know that arm was broken or my toe was broken. We wouldn't know that. So you continue using those things until they fall off.

[00:15:43] Will: I mean, or you damage even more. So when you have pain, it gives you attention, pay attention. Oh, your heart, your hand is hurting. Your arm is hurting. Something happened. What happened? What transpired? Oh, yes. Something fell on my hand. Well, something fell on your hand. Okay. Go get the help you need. Go get the treatment you need.

[00:15:58] Will: Go on responding to that physical pain. We don't do the same thing with emotional pain. See, we have emotional pain, but we just let it subside. We just sit inside. We let it, we let it, fester because we want to show, we don't want to show that we're going through some pain because we got it. We got to wear the mask because we don't want to seem vulnerable or weak.

[00:16:15] Will: but the reality is everybody's a week we're born weak and then we grow through the experiences that we have and become stronger,

[00:16:23] Hector: you talked about this acceptance idea, and it reminds me of as you're kind of talking about sort of these, concepts here. And one of the themes that's come up a lot on the show is the idea of shame, And how just having other conversations with guys or sharing things that. What most guys would deem shameful it actually brings people together, actually brings guys together because they realize that most of the time, they're not that different from other guys, that the same thing that one guy is ashamed of the other guys has the same exact thing. it's only the fact that they think they're different, that shame comes in.

[00:16:57] Hector: It's only the fact that they think that they're unique in their fucked upness that they hold on to it, you know, and then it starts to eat at their self worth. Whereas we have these conversations and we realize, oh, you're, equally as fucked up as I am, but we can be fucked up together and still like good people, just because we have these things that, might seem off or wrong, or we have these, whatever that we're kind of working through does not mean like it doesn't take away from the fact that we are in solidarity or still just as one, With everybody.

[00:17:25] Will: Yeah. I mean, mistakes are a human trait. Failure is a human trait.

[00:17:29] Hector: I think that you spend the first half of your life making mistakes so that you can spend the next, you know, whatever period, I don't know, maybe it's not half, but you spend the first period of your life making mistakes so that you can undo them.

[00:17:40] Hector: as. Sheltered as my upbringing was my parents went through a lot of what you went through and they, they made it out. And so they did everything they could to not have me experience any sort of struggle. There was, there was no want, there was no, you know, they did everything to keep me out of, Now I'm realizing that they did everything to keep me out of the streets.

[00:18:01] Hector: I was in an activity from three o'clock to six, you know, it was like they had me on a schedule and it was, I think that they kind of saw, what could happen if, if you kind of go down that road and don't have the right sort of guidance, but all that to say, I make it out 30 years later and I've still got sort of emotional trauma and I've still got these things that I need to undo and work through.

[00:18:21] Hector: And I'm realizing that, so it's all the, all that to say that we're, presented with these challenging. Is and just because someone is starting in a, in literally a different geographical location, I think that we all, can like unite in the fact that we have, stuff to work through and within that we can do it together.

[00:18:38] Will: Yes,

[00:18:39] Hector: there was a couple of other, there's another acceptance, I think awareness was another one. And then was there a third one?

[00:18:45] Will: Uh, intentional and moving on purpose. Being

[00:18:48] Will: intentional.

[00:18:49] Hector: you go into your daily sort of stuff and things come up and you've got, challenges, what sort of. What else do you lean on, when it comes to staying grounded, staying, intentional, staying, authentic.

[00:19:02] Will: Well, lean on, see it's, it's one of the basic things in life is to understand that, , things will happen right behind your control. And there's two things you can do about it. One is you can fix it, find a solution for it, figure it out. To leave it alone because you have no control over it. All right, so I don't run into problems or challenges. unless it's like maybe a loss of a loved one, somebody that, I mean, and still that's like us, not someone who lives 80 and 90 years. Maybe somebody like I recently lost my nephew. Like. A year ago, right? So that was a challenge for me in the self, emotional challenge and dealing with not only my relationship with them and loss and my sister's only son and my other sister lost her only son 10 years before that.

[00:19:53] Will: So now I have these sisters who are losing their only sons and how I'm able to not only first deal with myself and my emotions and that nature, but now I'm being able to be strong enough to help them. Navigate through them themselves and get the help they need. So, The challenge for me is that when things happen is, do I have any ability to manage them or I don't?

[00:20:16] Will: First question I ask myself. And if I don't, then it's not like I do about it. Keep moving. Life is movement. I do, then it's time for me to take action. I figured out what can I do? So my, my nephew dying, let me, I got a whole class. I got to run it on, on live radio morning. got other people. I got to see my family needs me at this moment.

[00:20:36] Will: I'm like the only male figure in my family. to all the young other, other men are younger than me. So now I got to get through my grieving period. Let me get through that. Let me focus on my grieving on my nephew. Get it out. My system and only the fester me at all for one night or how long it takes.

[00:20:53] Will: Took one day, got it out of my system. Now I'm able to move forward and support everybody else. So it was just like, a lot of times we don't handle our business. First self care is the best health care. So I constantly handle my business all day long before I try to transform somebody else's business, whether it's my mom, my sisters, my nieces, my nephews, my sons and daughters, because I ain't no good, then how can I help them or support them any kind of way?

[00:21:19] Will: So number one thing. It's self care, preparing for life, not responding to life, preparing for it. And the more you prepare, it's like you're shooting gym, you're shooting hoops in the basketball court before the game starts. Let's say I started going to the parties and I turn it up, so life is the same way.

[00:21:36] Will: You've got to practice life. And when you practice life, you're able to deal with the encounters, the unexpected, the surprises and things of that nature and navigate through them more easier. Yeah,

[00:21:49] Hector: that was worth the episode right there is, is the tip you gave her or that insight really. so taking the time to process your stuff, you know, handle your stuff, I think is, is super important. I'm curious, and, Obviously you can share as transparently as you like, but I'm curious what that day of grieving looked like for you, you know, because I think a lot of guys they don't even know what that might mean or what, that might allow or what they might allow themselves, in those moments,

[00:22:20] Will: so the day of grieving for me is, like, I lost my first nephew. It was different. than my second nephew. So my first nephew, when he got killed, at 19 years old, it was really unexpected and he got shot and I didn't think he was going to die, but nobody thought he was going to die, but eventually he did, so that was more of a hurtful place for me.

[00:22:37] Will: Like it's a good kid. And when, I mean, what happened and trying to find out what happened and being a street dude myself, sometimes it took me back to my old, my old mindset, so now it's a battle between my old self, old will street will. And a new person to develop will, and in between that struggle is prayer.

[00:22:55] Will: Like, let me do the right thing. Help me do the

[00:22:57] Hector: what, it. What does that mean? What sort of thoughts are coming back or what sort of mindsets or perspectives are you? Are you trying to,

[00:23:05] Will: Well, everybody has this, like, you know, when you lived an experience in life with with violence, or crime just anything that, you know, that you were trying to get away from. there's no not healthy emotionally or mentally healthy for you. it's easy for people to revert back like a person who's on drugs and saying it's easy for them to be tempted back if they're not strong enough to fight the old.

[00:23:30] Will: the old, ideas, the old feelings, to relapse. Same thing with the streets and the street life, it's another kind of addiction that we have all kinds of addiction, not just for drugs. So with that, like, just to find my mind, like my nephew ain't did it in the bio. How did this come on nephew? I mean, I'm going to go see what these jokes are.

[00:23:48] Will: I'm saying I gotta go step to him. I'm going to go handle this business, but see same time too, is like, Thinking myself, the reason why I do this work is to protect people from each other. The reason why I do this work is to protect my community and protect my kids growing up in this community so they won't be a victim of violence in any kind of way.

[00:24:08] Will: So these are the challenges that I'm faced with to really think clear on, be clear on, and not emotionally Move or motivated by these things, but logically and emotionally using my emotional intelligence to be making better decisions because I know the smartest man wins.

[00:24:24] Hector: there practical things that you'd like to do? You know, I don't like to say that you've got a process for grieving or system because, you know, I would never wish that on anybody, but are there modalities or practices, habits that you lean on in these times that help you move through, those sort of periods?

[00:24:44] Will: Yeah, I'm dealing with it. Like I said, the second time I left my mother, nothing got killed. It was more. So I knew exactly what to do. Like, let me just deal with it. I mean, I mean, let me feel what I feel as of anger or the frustration or the sadness. Let me process my feelings. I mean, and then acknowledge why do I feel this way?

[00:25:04] Will: You know, um, and then understanding to accepting the fact that he's not here. And I mean, I hold no one to, Oh, my nephew, he said, like, who did this to him? And except the fact that he's not here, except the fact that, you know, it's, it's time is up. So we all have a time, I mean, and, the cause of death is just a title of death.

[00:25:25] Will: Death is inevitable, whether you fall down the steps or you drown in the river, or you get hit by a bus, shot by somebody, it's high. So being able to accept that, understanding that this is a person's time to go, I mean, and the reality is that we don't own anything. In this universe, everything returns back to the creator.

[00:25:44] Will: So having that spiritual connection and relationship with God, understanding that too, that's a part of it too. so the key to acceptance, like God called me back at this time, but unfortunately it happened in a way that, you know, I mean, most people don't agree with when you, somebody else taking your life, too, but understanding the things I've done to somebody also, you know, life Just being able to like, let me continue the mission to go forward.

[00:26:10] Will: I mean, so I can hopefully I can save other lives, save other people from pulling the trigger, save other people from, you divorcing their wives or beating their Children or abandoning the kids, whatever emotion, no trauma they're dealing with or going through, be able to heal from those things.

[00:26:25] Will: And process those things so they can go through it and not just go through it, but grow through it, you know, and I have learned how to grow through things, because I believe every experience is a learning experience. You know, we're not in control. We never is. We never will be. We only have the ability to manage.

[00:26:41] Hector: You've gotten a chance to work with a lot of the youth. It's always a hard word to say for me. you know, a lot of the kids coming up and I'm curious, I'm just hitting that point where I'm like, Oh yeah, I'm not one of them. I don't think the way they think, I'm kind of standard millennial. there's a clear divide between this Gen Z and, millennial sort of thing.

[00:27:02] Hector: the challenge though, is that I can check out from it. You know, I've got young boy or a daughter and so I can raise my kids, but otherwise I can sort of check out from the generational sort of thing. you sort of have this. I don't know if it's a need, but, you know, it might be helpful to stay in tune with how the generation is, you know, how the next generation is thinking so that you can help to.

[00:27:25] Hector: create these lessons that are timeless, But help them fit into the box of today. And so I'm curious, my question is like, are there things that you see with the young kids these days that especially either frustrates you or even excites you? Like, are there things that you look at?

[00:27:40] Hector: And you're like, man, I'm really worried about this sort of thing. When I look at high school kids, kids, your son's age, or are there things that you're particularly excited about? when it comes to some of the things that we've talked about, with the generation of men that's coming up,

[00:27:55] Will: no, I think it's the only thing that separates us from. The youth from anything is knowledge and ignorance. you don't know what you don't know. So our young people want to try to do what the best they can do in the situation they're in. like I said, we're all human beings, so we all have the same needs.

[00:28:12] Will: We all have the same, some of the same desires and wants, we all share the same emotions and feelings, so it's nothing far removed from young person and adult. It's the same being. younger in age, less experienced in life. they have some young kids who are more experienced in life, the 15 years they live, opposed to somebody 35 or 40 years old, so I think it's all about what you're taking from it or you're taking out of life.

[00:28:36] Will: And how you perceive the life for the journey that you're on. and if you're toward these things too. Our children, all people, I think, I believe all people are good people. it's the two things we lack. We lack the knowledge and we lack the healing. I'm saying, and a person like me, that good kid I grew up to be is 8, 7, 9, 10 year old church going kid and everything else.

[00:28:58] Will: If I would have been nurtured rightly or got the right guidance and direction, I'm saying, and more awareness of self and purpose, then in a way I would have been out there selling drugs or doing the things I did. I believe this because of our traumas and our experiences shapes our mindset to believe the world is against us, to believe that everything else is against us.

[00:29:18] Will: Life ain't fair. All different terminologies. We hear, we embrace, we accept, I mean, as our own, mean, because of the experience that we share, but I believe that, everybody is subjected to change because everything changes. I mean, everything is in a constant change or evolution, except for the person who has a free will not to, and that's human beings.

[00:29:39] Will: We have a free will not to change, we can stay the same, if we want to.

[00:29:43] Hector: it seems like that's becoming, or maybe it's just the stuff that I'm kind of tuning into regards to the algorithm, but there's this sort of. I don't know if it's like a waking up kind of thing, because people realize that the masses and the culture is going one direction and what everybody is doing, whether it's regards to their health or to their finances or to their, relationships is not leading to an ideal outcome.

[00:30:09] Hector: I mean, that, leads to divorce and obesity and, debt and all these sorts of things. and as men, we're required to sort of step out of that. and I think lead up firstly ourselves, and then, eventually our families in the right sort of direction.

[00:30:24] Hector: and one of the things that sort of, I don't know if it concerns me, well, you know, it definitely concerns me. I that's. Is the idea of, how men are, suffering from, deaths of despair at a rate of, of four times to four to one to women. I'm not sure if you're kind of familiar with the statistic, but all of the, the deaths of essentially, mental health, right?

[00:30:45] Hector: suicide and, alcoholism and addiction and even, uh, you know, overdose, all these sorts of things that just point to what you said, a lack of healing. Yeah. And, the other side of it though, and that becomes sort of an issue is that it's not quite accepted yet for men to sort of talk about their problems, .

[00:31:03] Hector: Or to, Not complain, but to sort of voice their challenges. They're supposed to, to buck up and pull up by their bootstraps and, figure it, you know, that sort of thing. And so they're living in this reality where they're suffering, but then they can't talk about it. and I think that, concerns me for a generation that's coming up and is so in tune with these algorithms and so in tune with social media and they're, so hot on trends and they're so quick to understand these things within that, you can very quickly lose some of these found date, you know, you can very quickly be led astray and at least that for me, like I said, guess it is a concern.

[00:31:39] Hector: I'm curious how you. Are thinking about it for yourself. And then, you know, with your son, who's kind of coming into his own, ages, in manhood. how are you helping him to sort of navigate those currents, if you will?

[00:31:50] Will: Well, basically, being an example for one, one of the ways to be an example, to them. And my sons know my story, they know what I've been through, know what I've dealt with. through that, they can draw strength from me on a personal level. And they mentioned that to me before, plenty of times. So you've been through this day, but through that day, you didn't have your dad.

[00:32:07] Will: So, I'm strong because I can see you're strong. And that's what I'm talking about. Identity, But I like growing up. but the thing is, is being that for them, but knowing to. Like in our environment, we're here in Philadelphia where, we see in surrounding areas, they are creating safe places for men to talk about things they're dealing with, and I'm very voiceful.

[00:32:25] Will: I'm very vulnerable when it comes to my story. At one time I wasn't because I'm an introvert. I'm shy. But when people hear my story and I talk about being in prison, I'll talk about the murder. I'll talk about the transformation. I'll talk about the hurt and the pain. I got my recent show, my stage play, Men see that and they say, well, we're going to talk about it and I can talk about it.

[00:32:43] Will: we're also creating a place for them, a safe place for them to come and talk about it. It's not a big deal. I mean, we all went through things. We all on the same boat for it. We just put a facade up, pretending that we are healed, pretending that we are okay. Pretending. This is the world of pretenders.

[00:32:57] Will: Get off the stage. I'm saying and face your reality, face your real life. I mean, and as you face that now you can start from where you are to move forward to elevate and grow. But if you're always pretending to be okay, you're never going to address the problem. You're never going to get the healing you need.

[00:33:13] Will: You just go around pretending, faking, breaking yourself, Defeating yourself, And then you have no other outlet. But. Drugs, addiction, suicide, and these things like that. Cause you don't miss your boiling point. So we have a brotherhood brunch that we do and try to bring young boys and men together to share certain things, what they're going through in life, how was it for them?

[00:33:32] Will: So even our younger men, 15, 16 years old, can see what some of the men went through or some of the, some are still dealing with because they have not personally developed yet, or they have not been taught the tools To learn how to heal and navigate life and deal with everyday challenges, which is I teach all the time.

[00:33:50] Will: I'm teaching these tools every day, and I'll not only teach them, but I'll apply them to my life. So I can show you that these things work. So people will say that used to be an angry person. Yeah, you'd be snapping out on people all the time. You just that, you know, you always comical collecting them because that's my natural self.

[00:34:04] Will: That's the nature of me. to be natural, cool, calm, and collected, right? And patient. the best of me was my traumas that made me angry. I mean, egotistical, not, antisocial, all those things. But now I'm coming to the real you. Now you can develop and be yourself, being funny on Instagram, doing dance videos.

[00:34:22] Will: I won't even dance at a party at one time. room full of people, but I can dance on Instagram for my stuff out there. Why? Because I'm no, no fear of people and what they think about me. Everybody has a version of themselves in their mind about you anyway. So you, something you cannot change.

[00:34:36] Will: So just write, story of your own book. I mean, write your own narrative. places of healing is always good. so people can be transparent. They can learn how to be vulnerable. They can learn how to accept themselves and they can know how to navigate from that space. See, not only dealing with the problem, but finding a solution within that problem that no longer become a problem is a value.

[00:34:55] Will: Now is a value that you share with other people. My story is a value. I mean, I don't need the story because I'm already healed from it, but other people need the story is valuable to them. So now I can share my value, and that's why I get called to speak. That's why I get called to do sessions.

[00:35:10] Will: It's like a call for coaching. I get called for these things because I can connect and relate to you where you are. Cause I never, I'm I'm not far removed from the things I've been through in my spaces. I am. And it doesn't bother me. Like one young brother said, he came to my show. He's like, it's amazing how you can talk about the trauma that you have in your life.

[00:35:26] Will: When, one of the things I share with my mom, boyfriend, putting that to my face at 13 years old. Sage won't kill me, And how can I talk about that without crying, about being angry, without being upset? He was amazed at that. He said, yeah, you could talk about all those things you've been through in life and still be okay.

[00:35:40] Will: Just be cool. I said, because I'm healed from it. And when you heal, you respond differently. You react differently. but a hurt person reacts in a hurt way. They speak in a hurt way. They talk in a hurt way. And there's a difference in between the two. that's how you could define a person who is hurting and who is not hurting.

[00:35:57] Will: So me, I'm one of the gifts I had as a kid is just to watch people because I was so quiet. I ain't talk. I just watch absorbed, observed, understood by language. You know, no, no other person was telling the truth when it was lying and things in that nation like that. So that was my kind of protection for me as a kid to watch and watch people, listen to people and learn that way.

[00:36:18] Will: You know, so now when I'm older and being a coach, it's easy for me to understand the body language of a person. What they telling me, I mean, cut them off when they just venting, and just going through it themselves, cut it off. Let's go find a solution for it not to absorb the negative energy.

[00:36:33] Will: They put it in about our business. I've been beat up and abused. I've been raped, molested, not absorbing that energy from them at all. Blocking it off my aura and my aura, block it off energy and feed them my energy. Cause energy to two things is do is transcends and it transforms. So being able to manage the energy also in the room, I do this when I do the conferences, when I do this, you know what, Christopher Lockett told me one day, he asked me a question.

[00:36:55] Will: He said, well, we was in Sacramento at this conference. I'm quite sure he was there. He said, well, do you know how it is? When you're not in the room how it is when you come into the room. I didn't understand the question. I was like, I don't understand what you're saying. What do you mean? He said, you don't, do you know how it is when you're not in the room?

[00:37:12] Will: Now this room is right now. Everybody in here. Do you know how it is when you're not in the room and what it is when you are in the room? I said, no, I don't. There's no way I can tell that. Right. So he was like, all right, let me tell you. He said, I was in the room. I've been in the room when you wasn't in the room.

[00:37:26] Will: And then when you came in the room, the energy in the room changed, shifted. So he said, just think about that. So I look at that profound moment when he shared that with me, it's like, wow, that's how my energy is when I walk into the room to change the chemistry in the room, change the vibration in the room.

[00:37:47] Will: and I do that. I use that anywhere. I go do trainings. If I go to a school to do assembly with a bunch of kids, rowdy kids here in Philadelphia, I change the chemistry automatically by using some kind of gift, tool, whatever I have to assess the room really quick and know what I got to do to put my energy in this room.

[00:38:07] Will: The whole room and have to become one mind.

[00:38:10] Hector: Well, I wish I wish we would have said at the beginning, because then we got to try and figure out the secrets to that. And I'm just kidding. I feel like that's for Another episode. Well, I'm, so honored and grateful. My, mind is blown. My heart is open.

[00:38:23] Hector: I'm just so grateful that you got a chance to spend some time with us today. And, I'm excited that our audiences is going to chance to be connected with you. Because I've been grateful to, to be in your world for a number of years.

[00:38:32] Hector: If people want to go deeper, get more connected with you. there's the book that's out. don't know if the show is still running, but would love for you to share how, And where people might be able to get connected.

[00:38:43] Will: Well, you can find me on instagram on the life coach. Will there you can find me on gmail. Will Latif little on gmail. You can find my website. Will Latif little dot com. You can find me there for coaching, for training, for keynote speakers. I'm doing a, zoom class on emotional intelligence and what I call the human systems to collaborate the two informations so you can understand yourself on a deeper level.

[00:39:13] Will: So a lot of people don't know themselves and they think they do. But when you come to this class, this course, you understand how well, how deeply you didn't even know yourself and how you were able to manage and navigate through a lot of. Challenges in life. I mean, talking about neuroscience, talking about the mind and body connection, , talking about your development, how you were developed, how you were programmed, how to deprogram yourself, how to hack your brain for success, how the brain do, how to utilize it in best practice, what's your emotions due to your body to negative emotions and what positive emotions due to your body to, what actions and vibrations you're putting out in the universe, how that affects everything as far as coming back into your life, karma, Reciprocating that kind of energy.

[00:39:51] Will: So a lot of things in this course teach people on how to navigate through life and best practice, bringing everything a scenario that things that you are already using, but unknowingly using those things. And then you can use them with intention. That way you can purposefully design your life.

[00:40:08] Hector: Yeah, we'll link all that stuff up in the show notes as well. well, like I said, it's an honor and a pleasure to have you here. My last question for you is in your opinion, what is the definition of modern masculinity?

[00:40:19] Will: Modern masculinity. think you go back to the times of, history. you're really filled out what, masculinity really is. As far as anything modern, it's not really that good for you anyway. Right. I think society's kind of done with us down, uh, taking us away from our natural. Natural intelligence, our natural, development of self and, us being men, what that really means, and what that really, how that really will impact the universe if we just step into our nature of self, our natural self, where I think masculinity is basically, is really getting to know who you truly are and living and operating in that masculine energy.

[00:41:02] Hector: Yeah. Well said. Well, fellas, I want to thank you for being here. if you're not connected with will and myself on Instagram, go get connected. It's at life coach will, and, at Hector underscore podcast for me. if you're listening to this, wherever you listen to this, we'd be forever grateful for a rating or review wherever you get your podcasts.

[00:41:21] Hector: And if you know a guy who needs to hear this or anyone who needs to hear this, hit that share button and send them a message, let them know you thought it might help. But, uh, it's an honor to be with you all. We'll see on the next one. Later fellas.