Mind Games: Secrets of NLP in Real Estate with Brian Curtis

[00:00:00] Suneet: Here, um, cut this part out.

[00:00:06] Brian': Oh, okay. I mean, I assumed someone was going to edit this shit.

[00:00:09] Suneet: Yeah. Yeah. Um, well, I would like to not edit anymore, but, um, we're going to start and we can talk about that. So cut, we're going to cut up to 20 seconds in welcome everybody to the reside platform podcast. I'm your host, Sunit Agarwal, one of the co founders of reside. I got a good, I got a good guest for you guys today. Brian Curtis. Brian, what's going on before I give the rest of your bio? How's it going, dude?

[00:00:46] Brian': I'm doing great, man. Thanks for asking. Uh, you know, it's, uh, I literally just got, I run a team remotely and I literally got back last night from visiting my remote team and that was fun. We had a Christmas party and, you know, I were talking about that a little bit in the green room. So yeah, life, life's good, man.

[00:01:02] Brian': Yeah,

[00:01:03] Suneet: So if you don't know, Brian Curtis, um, real estate legend, national speaker, NLP master, which I can't wait to talk about, dude. Okay. And, um, coach, um, Brian has led the Curtis realty group to big success. What's the name of your, um, brokerage is a Curtis realty group to home quest realty, and you got your mortgage armstone,

[00:01:31] Brian': Purple Link Mortgage.

[00:01:33] Suneet: purple ink mortgage.

[00:01:34] Suneet: Dude, where'd that name come from? Purple ink.

[00:01:37] Brian': I don't remember it was a conversation. You know how things, you know, it's, it's 2018. That's feels like a lifetime ago, but, uh, we had decided that purple was our color. And normally I have a purple blazer on, but it needs to go to the dry cleaner somewhere and a blue one. But, uh, but yeah, so purple kind of became our color and, uh, we just kind of, uh, We kind of went with it.

[00:01:58] Brian': Our that's that color. It's funny. Cause I was talking to some people back in our brokerage the other day, and they're like, more people are picking the color purple. I'm like, yeah, there's reasons for that. So purple is the color of creation. It's a color of royalty. There's a lot of good reasons to be purple.

[00:02:10] Brian': I

[00:02:11] Suneet: cool. Cool. Yes. So I have a great story that I want to share with everybody before we get into it is I've known Brian for almost my entire real estate career, probably nine years. I've been a realtor for 10 years. My anniversary 11 years is coming up soon. So Brian was a pivotal coach that I couldn't afford at the time. Um, because I was just trying to figure it out, you know, build a team. And I remember on my 40th birthday, we were at the coaching organization that we were involved with at the time. Uh, we were at an event in Vegas on my 40th birthday. And I remember. Meeting your wife and my wife was there as well. And I said, honey, this is the guy I want to be my coach one day.

[00:03:07] Suneet: Uh, you probably don't remember that, but, um, I always tell the story. And yes, I'm dreaming it up, which might totally be the case too.

[00:03:14] Brian': well, either way, either way it's true.

[00:03:16] Suneet: Yeah. Um, so, you know, after that I was able to scale my business and start working with Brian and we worked together for a couple of years. And. He's a great friend and a great mentor, and I'm excited to have him, uh, share some of the knowledge on today's call.

[00:03:37] Brian': Awesome. I really appreciate it, man. It's, it's always great to be here. It's fun. And, uh, worst thing that happens to me and it is I get to hang out with you and you know, we're, we're good. So

[00:03:45] Suneet: Yeah, hell yeah. So, um, dude, I mean, I have a bunch of questions here that I was going to talk about, but we're going to just talk about some really cool shit that you've been doing lately. Cool.

[00:03:57] Brian': Oh, that sounds like more fun.

[00:03:59] Suneet: Yeah, it sure does. Okay. I'm just going to close my little screen with the questions. I'm not even tempted. Okay, cool.

[00:04:05] Suneet: I do need to bring it up, but I do the outro there are, I'll forget a good part. Um, so we were just talking and I just, and I just mentioned to the viewers that, um, you're a coach, but your coaching has taken kind of a more specialized Is that the right word? Specialized kind of approach because

[00:04:30] Brian': say different. Um, different. I mean, I, I, yeah, it's specialized in some areas, but it's just different. Um, let me talk about that. I'm happy to. So, you know, there's tons of great real estate coaches out there, by the way. Um, I've worked with a bunch of them and I've worked with some of the people that reside, you know, your partner, John, and I worked together for about two and a half years.

[00:04:49] Brian': It was great, great experience. I've got only good things to say about Chapman. And, uh, what I see for the majority of real estate coaches right now is that they're focused on function. And I think it's important. Like, how do I recruit more people? How do I, what's my scripts? What's, you know, what's that type of stuff?

[00:05:07] Brian': And I think that stuff is vital and it's no longer, It's no longer what interests me and that, and that's okay.

[00:05:14] Suneet: That's okay. Yeah.

[00:05:15] Brian': of people who can do that. You know, there's plenty of good coaches out there who you can model their systems. You can model their things,

[00:05:22] Suneet: Like, like,

[00:05:25] Brian': for example, well, and you know, the reside platform, I I'm familiar with it on some level, that's what it's all about.

[00:05:31] Brian': It's about. We're getting your systems and models in place and making sure that you're running a business, right? And that's awesome. And honestly, if you just follow that, you'll probably be very successful if you just do your part, show up and do it. And I love that. And what I realized for me though, is I got sick of talking about that stuff.

[00:05:48] Brian': It's just not, I was never passionate about it. I understand its value and it needs to be there by the way. You don't have good systems and models in place. It doesn't matter what I'm going to, your mindset doesn't mean a damn thing. If you can't actually run a business, right, you've got to do both. So, but where I've moved is just to be working on leadership.

[00:06:06] Brian': I'm sure you guys have that too, you know, but understanding people more, and that's both your clients and your agents who are part of your organization and working on your own crap, right? So, you know, real estate, you know, and from an NLP perspective, at least my NLP, NLP school. There's six areas of life.

[00:06:24] Brian': So there's spirituality, there's family, there's personal relationships, there's personal growth and development, there's physical health, and then there's career. And one of the things that I figured out relatively quickly over the last period, it took me 50 years to start thinking about it. But once I started thinking about it, I realized pretty quickly that all of these life areas interact.

[00:06:44] Brian': So in other words, if I'm in a crappy place with my family, I may not be a very good leader. If I'm in a fight with my spouse for six months, I'm not, um, then I might be, not be a very good leader. If you know, my personal growth and development is garbage. If my physical health is garbage, then yeah, I can show up and try and work every day, but it doesn't, it's not effective.

[00:07:07] Brian': It's not powerful. And it's not, and people have so much of this going on in their life. They're just bombarded with negativity. How do I deal with all this stuff in a way so that I can go and get the things that I want in my life? And that's really where my focus is now. It's not just how do I take my team from 100 transactions to 200 transactions, which is a great thing.

[00:07:28] Brian': How do I do that? And. Be happy about it. How do I do that in a way that's inspiring? How do I do that in a way that's not just helping me? It's helping other people. So that's kind of where my focus has been for the last couple of years. And it's funny because I've spent so much time doing training. I was like, I need to actually go out and start working some more.

[00:07:46] Brian': And I work, don't get me wrong, but I just spent, like I mentioned earlier in the green room, 700 hours I've spent the last couple of years doing training. That's a lot of training. So now it's, you know, can I take that and apply it in a way that's beneficial and that's

[00:07:58] Suneet: Yeah, dude, I love it. And while you tell everybody, like, A little bit about what NLP is and what it's good for.

[00:08:09] Brian': sure. So, you know, there's a perception. And honestly, the perception of why I got an NLP was it's about, um, language and persuasion. In other words, how do I be more persuasive? How do I be more convincing? How do I help people do act in their own best interest? Like we all know that sometimes people won't even do that.

[00:08:28] Brian': Right. So. So from that perspective, I got into it from a communication standpoint. I wanted to understand the words that were coming out of my mouth. Were they being powerfully influential on people? Or was I just talking, you know, and everybody in real estate does scripts, right? And but most people learn the scripts, but they don't even understand the logic behind the scripts.

[00:08:48] Brian': So when they tweak their own scripts, which is most people do, like most people don't memorize the script, they tweak it. Yeah. And what they don't realize is the script was written for a reason and their tweak just made it not powerful. Their tweak made it not effective. And so I wanted to understand. Why I was saying what I was saying, how I was saying what I was saying in the impact of what I was saying.

[00:09:09] Brian': That's why I initially got into NLP. What I realized once I got into NLP is NLP is about modeling. If you look at the original founders of NLP, a guy named John Grinder and Richard Bandler, the people who started NLP back in the 70s. That's literally what it was and Why is it called Neuro Linguistic Programming, which is a horrible name?

[00:09:29] Brian': Um, why is it called that? Well, because one guy was a linguist and the other guy was a computer programmer. That's literally, so they called it Neuro Linguistic Programming so that we could spend the next 50 years trying to figure out what the hell they meant.

[00:09:42] Suneet: Yeah, that's funny.

[00:09:44] Brian': Here's what they did. And this part is brilliant.

[00:09:46] Brian': And this part is applicable today in every part of life. They went after people who were extremely successful and just trying to figure out why they were successful. So here's an interesting thing. If you look at and this is not an LP, but it's it's a thing. You look at how people learn. The highest level of how people learn is what's called unconscious competence.

[00:10:07] Brian': In other words, I'm so good at this. I don't have to think about it. Right? Like Suneet's on this call right now. He's so good at doing content. He doesn't have to think about it. So that's unconscious competence. Well, there is actually a higher level to that. It's called conscious, unconscious competence.

[00:10:24] Brian': What does that mean? That means I can actually,

[00:10:27] Suneet: conscious, unconscious competence.

[00:10:30] Brian': right. So what that means is I can teach somebody else how to do it. In other words, I'm so good at it. I can do it without thinking, but I understand why I do it.

[00:10:41] Suneet: Hmm.

[00:10:42] Brian': that is where I want to be with a lot of this stuff. And so what, what happened is they would go to these amazingly brilliant people and they didn't know why they were good at what they were good at.

[00:10:52] Brian': They were the best in their field, but they didn't know why.

[00:10:56] Suneet: Fascinating.

[00:10:57] Brian': looking at what were they good at? How are they good at? And then they created models how you could do what they could do. So you know what? Probably the most famous kind of Milton Erickson and Milton Erickson was a hypnotherapist.

[00:11:08] Brian': He was a medical doctor and a psychiatrist. Like the guy was educated and they modeled him. He was the person who they built rapport building off of. Like, literally, he was the guy and they said, Hey, this is how you build rapport. He was the guy who created that, but he didn't know how to do it. He just did it.

[00:11:25] Brian': It was natural for him. It was one of those things. So that's where that unconscious conscious competence comes in. It's like, now we can explain why it worked. We can explain how it worked. And then I can teach it to other people so they can literally go do the same exact thing. So that's

[00:11:40] Suneet: Yeah, I love hearing about this stuff so much. Oh, FedEx is here. We are, we're recording this in real life and they're asking for my ID. It must be alcohol. Yeah, sweet.

[00:11:53] Brian': Oh, you would never get any alcohol.

[00:11:55] Suneet: Well, it's all these wine clubs, bro. And it's Christmas, right? So people are sending me wine, um, and we have nowhere left to put it. Um, um, so I love hearing about NLP and let me tell you why.

[00:12:10] Suneet: My father. Was a self development junkie. And I'm sure I picked up some of it from him and he bought all the NLP books back in the eighties. Right. And also like, let's just put it out there. Like Tony Robbins built his career early career by being an excellent NLP practice practitioner. And what he was on stage getting people to quit smoking.

[00:12:34] Suneet: Wasn't that his first thing? Right.

[00:12:36] Brian': Um, he did some of that. And he also did, um. Like phobia releases. So there's a technique in NLP that's a phobia release. So he would literally take people on stage. And what are you afraid of? I'm afraid of a snake. He'd bring a snake out on stage and like, get the people to like, hold the snake and love on the snake after he did phobia release there's it's interesting.

[00:12:56] Brian': Like phobia release is a really cool technique. I know how to do it. It's not that hard. Someone comes to me with a phobia and who wants to get rid of it. That's the other part. None of this stuff. NLP done correctly in my, in my school is, is done with you, not done to you. So you'd have to be willing to get rid of that phobia, but I watched people get rid of phobia of germs.

[00:13:15] Brian': My favorite germ phobia was this woman was so deathly afraid of germs that every time someone spoke she would hold her breath. the person was done talking, because she didn't want to get through

[00:13:28] Suneet: Wow.

[00:13:29] Brian': that's a serious phobia. Right? And so I was at a at a training and they did this phobia model on her.

[00:13:35] Brian': And literally this, she goes through the process. I'm not going to go through what that is. But at the end of it, she looks at the guy. Now, remember, she wouldn't breathe. If, if another person was talking, she looks at the trainer who was helping her release a phobia and she goes, do you want to kiss? She runs off stage, starts high fiving people.

[00:13:53] Brian': These are the kind of reasons when people ask me, why do you like NLP? It's because I can watch real change happen for people that if you go and go to a therapist, I'm not anti therapy for the record. But if you go to a therapist and you tell them you have a phobia, they're like, great. Come to me for the next 10 years and we'll get rid of that.

[00:14:11] Brian': How about, how about hang out with me for 15 minutes and I'll get rid of it for you,

[00:14:14] Suneet: Well, I have a phobia. Um, I hope my wife isn't listening to this because she's going to say, Oh, you need to get up, Brian, but, uh, like, um, yeah, I have a legit phobia that we are not going to talk about. So, uh, maybe I'll just call you off here. I don't want everyone knowing.

[00:14:31] Brian': We'll talk about it in the green room anyway, but you know, you mentioned quit smoking. That's actually something I help people do.

[00:14:37] Suneet: Yeah,

[00:14:38] Brian': Um, because part of NLP isn't necessarily, but I'm, I'm a hypnotherapist and as well from, and I got that training through NLP.

[00:14:45] Suneet: sure. Yeah. I mean, cause there's a connection and many circumstances, right. And I think what has been. Kind of like, it's kind of a shame that so many real estate professionals, including me for the longest time, think that NLP is just a way to close more deals, which it is.

[00:15:08] Brian': It is, there's that benefit.

[00:15:09] Suneet: However, it goes deeper than that.

[00:15:12] Brian': does. Yeah, it, it, again, that's to me, the language side is about 20 percent of what NLP is about. And, you know, you know, this, I worked with your team on this. There's an entire, I teach an entire class about how to talk better. It's not what it's called, but, you know, it's learning to understand that the words that you say have meaning and more than that, the way you say the words have meaning.

[00:15:31] Suneet: Oh, yeah.

[00:15:33] Brian': I don't know if you ever, I went through a, through a course by a company, um, I'm not going to mention them on this course, but you know, ultimately what, what I learned by going through that is it's not the words, it's how you say them. So, for example, I can give you a script that says, you know, when are you going to hire the right agent to, to sell your house now, if you say it just the way that I said it, you're probably going to get this F you and hang up, but there's a way to say that.

[00:16:02] Brian': Yeah. In a way that's powerful in communication, because here's the thing that people don't realize only 7 percent of communication is the actual words. You say 93 percent of communication is nonverbal.

[00:16:15] Suneet: dude.

[00:16:16] Brian': So people worry about learning the script, right? You learn the perfect script. You still miss 93 percent of communication and you wonder why you're failing.

[00:16:23] Suneet: Yeah. I mean, yeah, dude, that's so good. 93 percent of communication is nonverbal.

[00:16:31] Brian': Yep. And I want to be clear. So some of it is the 38 percent of communication is the tone, the speed, those kind of things. So I guess you could call that verbal. But what I'm talking about the actual words that were written down, if you will, or not, but now. Here's the part, the biggest part that people will not accept 55 percent of communication.

[00:16:53] Brian': Now, obviously this is in person. You can't have 55 percent of communication on the phone, be your body language because you're on the phone, but I'm assuming an in person, an in person interaction, 55 percent of the communication in person. Is for is is your physical how I express this, how I do this. It's that literal physical communication and people, they don't practice it.

[00:17:14] Brian': They don't study it. They don't know. You know, I teach people how to do it and they're like, God doesn't work. Well, it doesn't work because you just tried it once.

[00:17:21] Suneet: Yeah. Right.

[00:17:22] Brian': part of your life and I promise you can be 10 times more influential if you don't learn anything else from this podcast, learn how to build rapport and I'm going to give you this secret has nothing to do with being having things in common with people that is the only way that anyone teaches people how to build rapport and there's a study from 1996 by a guy named wood and he goes over NLP report, which is not about building commonality. Significantly will increase sales and there's a study. I'm not going to read it. It's boring because it's a study, but that's the general gist of it. You know, it's one of those scientific studies that you try to read it and go to sleep. But the outcome was that if you use NLP related rapport, you will have a significant increase in sales just by learning that one.

[00:18:09] Suneet: Yes. Um, dude. Yeah. The seven minute video from Tony Robbins is a good place for people to start. Right? Like go to the YouTube, type in Tony Robbins, the rapport. And before you try to figure out how to spell rapport, it's R A P P O R T. It's not R E P O I I R E. Okay.

[00:18:30] Brian': That's so funny. I'm horrible speller, but I use that word so often. I didn't even realize it was a hard word to spell.

[00:18:36] Suneet: Yes. Yes. It's R A P it's report, right? Is. Yeah. Um, but, um, give us some, give us some tactics, bro.

[00:18:50] Brian': Give us some tactics. Okay. So here's, here's actually what I wanted to talk about. And this is a tactic, but I'm going to switch gears a little bit about it because you and I were talking a little bit about discipline before, before the call. And I think that if your goal is to be more disciplined, you're probably going to fail.

[00:19:06] Brian': Sorry. So what do I do to make sure I have success? And a couple of things that I found to be really, really unbelievably powerful that people ignore. So, you know, you're a sports fan, right?

[00:19:20] Suneet: No, I could give a shit. Yeah.

[00:19:22] Brian': Well, if you're not, doesn't matter. You'll you, you know what football is, right? American football, right?

[00:19:26] Brian': Okay. You don't have to be a sports fan to understand this analogy, but this is the analogy I make for the majority of real estate agents. They run out of the field for the coin toss. They're, they're standing in midfield and they're naked. Now, I know that's a weird visual for all of you as you're doing that, but that's how most people show up to do their job.

[00:19:43] Brian': I'm not saying they're unclothed. What I'm saying is they show up 30 seconds before they're supposed to do something and it goes. And here's the worst part. Sometimes it goes well, that is the worst thing that can possibly happen to you is that sometimes it goes well, and now you've reinforced that bad habit.

[00:20:00] Brian': Like I asked my team, Leslie, just the other day, what is the thing that you do five minutes before you get on a phone call? I guarantee you, we can put a hundred people in a room and ask them that. And 99 of them would say something like, well, I open up my computer or I, I look at the, I don't give a shit about that.

[00:20:17] Brian': And I hope that's okay. And I said that,

[00:20:19] Suneet: Yeah.

[00:20:19] Brian': what are you doing here? Because here's the thing, like, what if you and your, let's not talk, why we started talking about spouses? What if your kid just did something stupid that really pissed you off? Like if you've got a teenager, you know what I'm talking about? I guarantee you at some point in time, during the day, if you had a teenager, they're going to piss you off, right?

[00:20:36] Brian': That's just reality. You know, talk about

[00:20:40] Suneet: You just saw my oldest walk and she's only eight, but, uh, we're getting close.

[00:20:45] Brian': eight year olds are wonderful. 14 year olds, maybe not so much. And

[00:20:51] Suneet: I've,

[00:20:52] Brian': 14 year olds.

[00:20:52] Suneet: Yeah. I remember when your kids were teenagers, Dave, we talked every week. Yeah.

[00:21:00] Brian': So, but here's my point. There's going to be something that's going to happen to you at some point in time. And your day is going to throw you off, right? Why not sit down and make sure that you can show up. So you've mentioned Tony Robbins, Tony Robbins talks about state all the time. And that's what I'm talking about.

[00:21:15] Brian': How do I put myself in a position? In a high performing state before I pick up the phone, before I go into a listing appointment, before I go to somebody and ask them to pay me 30, 40, 50, 000, which is amazing that we get to do that as real estate agents, right? How many industries can, you know, I want you to think about this from perspective, a different industry, you're about to do a sales pitch.

[00:21:36] Brian': We do that. We can call it whatever we want. We're about to do a sales pitch with somebody, right. Super excited about that. Okay, great. What did you do? Well, I showed up three minutes late. I wasn't prepared. Yeah, I want you to think about being in corporate America and telling your boss that you had a an appointment that was going to pay the company 50, 000 and you showed up three minutes late.

[00:22:00] Suneet: Unprepared.

[00:22:01] Brian': unprepared. Like how long would you last in, in the, we'll call it the real world, right? And yet we don't, we don't appreciate that as agents. How many agents do that? Like there's agents watching this right now going, yeah, that's me. Okay. I've done that. I did it yesterday. You know, whatever, there's going to be people who are going to be saying that.

[00:22:19] Brian': So what if you, if you created a pattern that puts you in a place to be high performing, to be in a high performing state all the time or when you need it to be right.

[00:22:31] Suneet: Oh, bro. Yeah. I believe in this a thousand percent. I do it every single day.

[00:22:37] Brian': but how many people who work for you do it? Right? How many?

[00:22:40] Suneet: you were, you were coaching. Um, a lot of them, what did they say? Yeah, none.

[00:22:49] Brian': Yeah,

[00:22:49] Suneet: Here's the thing though, that, you know, and it's not special to the real estate industry. People do not prepare. You're too busy to prepare. So you think I'm prepared. You know, and I do it first thing in the morning and it takes me a while, but my, my mind is set for the rest of the day.

[00:23:10] Brian': Perfect.

[00:23:11] Suneet: Right.

[00:23:12] Brian': these are a couple of things that I'm teaching. Okay. What is your morning routine? And, you know, a morning routine is very important. I'm not going to go over that. But how about this? What if you had a process that 5 minutes before any appointment, whether that was making a phone call or whatever, that you put yourself in a really powerful state and there's, there's A bunch of different states that are more powerful for different people.

[00:23:33] Brian': So, I mean, I can, I can teach a whole class on how to ground yourself, like literally take yourself from being, you know, people like me who we need to be grounded, right? I'm going a million miles an hour. I'm like, okay, I got to slow down. I'm going to scare the shit out of the person I'm talking to. Like, why is he talking so fast?

[00:23:48] Brian': Why is he going? So I need to ground myself now when I'm doing training, like, you know, something like this, they don't want to hear me talk like this because that's boring as hell. But you also don't want to come in on fire sitting across from a, from a, someone in a listing appointment, right?

[00:24:02] Suneet: Now we're talking about building rapport again.

[00:24:05] Brian': Absolutely. right. You're going to force me to talk about that. I'll talk about it in a minute. But, uh, but ultimately what I want you guys to think about is what if I could spend three minutes putting myself in a state that's calm, collected, organized. And here's something. So here's a, if the name of my coaching company is 126 coaching, um, People ask me every once in a while, which is why I named it that.

[00:24:26] Brian': What the hell does that mean? Well, here's the thing. In any given second, you've taken 126 bits of information consciously. So 126 bits of information, what the hell does that mean? It doesn't matter. But here's the thing that's important. What's the contrast? In that same one second, your unconscious mind took in 2 million bits of information.

[00:24:45] Brian': I'm going to say that again. 126 consciously, 2 million unconsciously. So 99. 94 percent of the information that you take in, you're not even aware of consciously. You can get it from the unconscious level. So,

[00:25:02] Suneet: like the, like the light, like hearing you talk, right? Like, am I right?

[00:25:11] Brian': and here's the thing, not, you think about it. This is one of my favorite things to get people to think about. If you and I were sitting next to each other on a park bench, okay. We could literally be having a completely different experience. Why? Cause you're paying attention to this 126 bits and I'm paying attention to this 126 bits, and even though we're physically sitting next to each other, we're having a completely different experience.

[00:25:32] Suneet: Yeah.

[00:25:33] Brian': So what do I've got to do? So if you guys want to look this up, it's a fun thing to look up. And again, there's a process that I could teach at some point in time. There's a, there's different brainwave states that we're in. Okay. So beta is the brainwave state. The majority of us are in most of the time.

[00:25:48] Brian': There is a very simple process. And if you want me to teach it, I will. But it's a very simple process to put yourself in an alpha brainwave state. Why would I want to be in an alpha brainwave state? Well, an alpha brainwave state is what's called the learning state. Okay. So they've actually taught this to, um, kids in school, like, you know, school aged kids, teenagers, and they taught them to do this.

[00:26:09] Brian': And based on this alone, their grades went up a grade to a grade and a half or a letter to a letter and a half. So a C student became a B to a B plus a B student became an A to an A plus students simply by learning how to put themselves in this state.

[00:26:23] Suneet: Wow, powerful.

[00:26:25] Brian': So think about this, though, aren't I trying to learn from the person I'm sitting across from, at least if I'm a good agent, aren't I going to sit across from you and say, how can I learn more about you?

[00:26:36] Brian': Because at the end of the day, we all have, sorry, we all have basically the same pitch right within within small parameters. It's not about your content. That's not why people are picking you as their listing agent. That's not why people are picking you as your buyers agent. They want to feel you. Heard, felt, understood.

[00:26:54] Brian': Well, if you don't know a damn thing about them, it's really trying, it's really trying hard to get that. So, and here's the fun thing too. I, you know, Suneet, you've been married a while. I'm going to go out on a limb and say, you can sit next to your wife and have an entire conversation without speaking a word.

[00:27:09] Brian': Is that accurate?

[00:27:10] Suneet: Yeah.

[00:27:11] Brian': Me too. Literally, my wife and I could sit next to each other and we know, we just kind of shake our head. We smile. We do this. If you think that that's not happening to you across the table at a buyer consult or a listing presentation, you're delusional. And here's the thing, you're missing most of it.

[00:27:27] Suneet: love that too.

[00:27:28] Brian': You're missing most of that information because you're not in the right state. So, you know, learning to put yourself in an alpha brainwave state is super, super powerful. And it's easy. And here's another fun thing about it. It uses both hemispheres of your brain. So,

[00:27:42] Suneet: Wait, is it alpha brainwave state? Okay. I'm going to get hip to that.

[00:27:48] Brian': yeah, it's, it's again called the learning state. So I studied a bunch of Hawaiian stuff. That's a whole other rabbit hole we can go down, but they call it hock allow in Hawaii in Hawaii. And

[00:27:58] Suneet: Oh yeah.

[00:27:59] Brian': So the kahunas of Hawaii literally would spend their entire life in that state when they were awake. Um, they would literally 99 percent of the time be in a hakalau or learning state.

[00:28:10] Brian': Why? Because they wanted to understand what was going on around them. And I mean, I teach people this, there's nothing more powerful

[00:28:16] Suneet: frigging fascinating, bro.

[00:28:19] Brian': stuff, right? So

[00:28:21] Suneet: The Kahunas, the chiefs would just sit there intentionally, purposefully, put themselves in that state. Wow. What?

[00:28:35] Brian': yeah, that's the kind of thing that I like to help people with. Because here's the thing, everybody can teach you script. Everybody can tell you to show up, recruit, and those things are very important. But how are you showing up? I think, you know, ask yourself that question. If you're watching this is how am I showing up to my appointments?

[00:28:52] Brian': And the answer is for most people. Some of the times I show a bad ass. I am the I'm ready. I'm fired up. I'm focused. Everything's perfect. And then the next time, well, and what do we do? We don't go, man, I really didn't show up very well for that appointment. It's my fault. We go. That guy was a jerk. That's why he didn't sign.

[00:29:08] Suneet: Yeah. Right. Dude, this is so fascinating, dude. Yeah, you got me thinking a lot. You got me thinking a lot. Um, okay. Give me some more tactics. Let's let's, let's hear

[00:29:25] Brian': Let's teach you how to build rapport because we talked about it. Let's just do

[00:29:28] Suneet: it. Okay, cool. Before

[00:29:32] Brian': So I'm going to teach you what's called mirroring and matching. It's extremely simple. And some of you have heard of it before. Um, but I'll teach you what's that.

[00:29:42] Suneet: mirroring and matching.

[00:29:46] Brian': I did this and I practiced this and this is what I'm going to tell you guys to do. Don't practice this on your client. Okay. That's what most people

[00:29:54] Suneet: Don't practice anything on your client.

[00:29:56] Brian': Amen. I hard to argue that logic. Right. So, When I teach this, I tell people go into the world. In other words, you're going to go to Starbucks. You're going to go to the, you're going to go to the mall.

[00:30:06] Brian': You're going to go to the grocery store. This is where you should practice this, where if you screw it up, it doesn't matter because you're never going to see that person again, right? It's just, I guess maybe you're Starbucks person. If you like me, you see me, but anyway. So you go in and you're just gonna learn to mirror and match.

[00:30:21] Brian': So I was going on a trip. Um, I was actually going for a conference that I was at a five day conference, and I knew I wasn't going to be in the room basically to sleep because, you know, 12 hour days. It was a pretty intense conference. And, um, Uh, but I got there and so I started to mirror and match. I stood about 15 foot away from the woman who was checking me in and I literally was standing there and doing this, it looked goofy as hell if she was paying attention, but she wasn't when she would move her hand for the mouse, I'd move my hand for the mouse, literally like this, she couldn't see it, like consciously, she didn't know what was happening.

[00:30:53] Brian': But I mirrored and matched her for about five minutes until it was my turn to check in. I walked up to her and I said, I said, Hey, you know, I'm this through this, by the way, do you have any upgrades? And she goes into her computer, she's like, Oh, you know, sir, I'm sorry. I don't have any upgrades. You know, we'd be happy to give you one.

[00:31:08] Brian': I'm like, okay, no big deal. Honestly, I'm just playing. Like I'm not, I don't need an

[00:31:12] Suneet: Hey, well, you got to ask every time, close mouth, don't get fed,

[00:31:16] Brian': but between you, it's just me in the room by

[00:31:18] Suneet: I don't care. I still ask. I'll even tip a hundred bucks. Usually, but check it so I can get something. Yeah. It works in Vegas, by the way.

[00:31:26] Brian': Yeah, here's the fun part about this story, though, just as I'm about to, she's about to hand me my key.

[00:31:31] Brian': She goes, wait a second. I'm like, all right, whatever. So she goes and looks in the computer again. And she goes, you know what, if you are willing to stay in this average room, I don't know what you called it, this, this standard room tonight, I'll put you in a suite tomorrow. If you want, just come back down and do this.

[00:31:46] Brian': And why did she do that? Like, Why did she take that extra effort? Why did she go out there? And by the way, I didn't take it. I was like, I don't care. I was literally just trying to get the upgrade. Like, I didn't

[00:31:56] Suneet: Yeah. Well, you didn't want to unpack and then repack and then all that.

[00:31:59] Brian': worth it. Clearly it wasn't worth it. But I'm swearing I was there for five days.

[00:32:03] Brian': And every single day I would, that woman would see me, Mr. Curtis, you know, which I hate being called makes me feel old. But you know, she knew my

[00:32:10] Suneet: are old, bro. We, we are both old.

[00:32:13] Brian': little grayer than it used to be. But yeah, But literally, literally every time I saw her, is there anything I can do for it? Why? So here's what rapport is on, on a nutshell.

[00:32:24] Brian': It is a feeling that we know each other and it's a feeling that we like each other. That's really what it is.

[00:32:31] Suneet: Dude, I think it's fascinating because we talk about preparation and we talk about getting in a state and you mirror and matched her for five minutes prior to your thing, that's frigging powerful, dude. So you were in rapport and it was just natural for her to get in there as soon as,

[00:32:49] Brian': So, and think about,

[00:32:50] Suneet: so interesting.

[00:32:51] Suneet: That's a good story, dude.

[00:32:54] Brian': Think about this, though. If you walked up to somebody, let's say you're at a real estate conference, and I know this isn't true for you, but let's pretend somebody doesn't know who you are, okay?

[00:33:05] Suneet: Okay. It's fair

[00:33:06] Brian': Just, just for the sake of this conversation, you walked up to somebody and you say, hey, dude, would you give me five bucks? They'd be like, you're crazy. Go away. Right. But if I walked up, you'd say, I need five bucks. You'd be like, here it is. Like, you wouldn't even ask me what it was for. You would give it to me.

[00:33:19] Brian': Like, why? Because we're friends. We feel like we know each other. We do. But, you know, that's the feeling. What you're doing if you're doing mirroring and matching rapport is getting from I don't even know who the hell you are to all of a sudden, we're friends. Think about what you would do for your friends.

[00:33:36] Brian': Shit. I could probably ask you for 100 bucks. If we're like,

[00:33:38] Suneet: ask me for a lot more than that. Yeah,

[00:33:41] Brian': Right, and, but go ask a stranger for a dollar and they'll think you're crazy. So rapport is about getting the person to know, like, and trust you without them actually having to know, like, and trust you. That's why it's so powerful. What would I do for a friend that I wouldn't do for a stranger?

[00:33:57] Brian': It's a big list, so why not walk into every single appointment and spend the first two to three minutes physically mirroring and matching the person sitting across from you, and then all of a sudden they know I can trust you immediately

[00:34:16] Suneet: Yes.

[00:34:17] Brian': spend an hour and a half trying to find something you have in common with them and do it that way.

[00:34:22] Suneet: Yeah. Where'd you go to college? Oh, crazy. So did my cousin's husband. Yeah.

[00:34:27] Brian': This was my favorite one. Oh, you like pizza? I like pizza. You know, I mean. Music. You like music? Who knew? I've never met anyone else who liked music before.

[00:34:37] Suneet: think it's fascinating too, cause I would prepare. Even though knowing this being taught it from you at the, uh, I don't think it was quite yet is I would look people up and like totally stalk them before any appointment and then come in knowing about them and being able to, you know, drop in stuff.

[00:34:57] Suneet: Um,

[00:34:58] Brian': And that's still valuable, by the way. I'm not suggesting that's not a good thing to do, because that is. But what if You don't know anything about him, you know, why not just do this and you know, we've all had this. You've had this happen in your life. I feel like you're somebody I know.

[00:35:13] Suneet: yeah,

[00:35:14] Brian': Why does that happen?

[00:35:15] Brian': Because you've I hate to say it. You probably accidentally built rapport with somebody or man, I feel like you're like, I've seen you before. You're some, you know, push. That's the feeling you're looking for. How do you get it? You physically mirror and match people. And then if you want to take it to the next level, you match the way they speak.

[00:35:35] Brian': And here's what I mean by that. You match their tone, you match their speed and you match their volume. And here's why volume is really important. Let's talk about that one for a second. I don't hear super well. Just it is what it is, right? So for me, yeah. I have to be careful. I don't talk really loud. Why?

[00:35:53] Brian': Because when you don't hear well, you don't know that you're loud because it's not loud to me. It's just regular, right? So imagine sitting across from somebody like some people in my family who have unbelievably good hearing. I just lost my hearing military stuff, but. Imagine sitting across from somebody who hears really well and you're screaming at them.

[00:36:12] Brian': No, you've got to match their volume. You've got to make them comfortable. We were talking about a mutual guy who we know earlier, and I'm going to steal this line from him. In every new relationship, at least one person is going to be uncomfortable. Volunteer to be that person. In other words, I don't need you to act like me.

[00:36:29] Brian': I need to act like you. I'm the person who's trying to sell something.

[00:36:32] Suneet: yes,

[00:36:34] Brian': So show up, listen to their response. You know, here's a fun one. Talk at the same pace that they do. Why? Because when you talk faster than somebody, they think that you're actually trying to pull something over on them. We've heard it.

[00:36:46] Brian': Fast talking salesperson,

[00:36:48] Suneet: yeah.

[00:36:49] Brian': Right. So, and it's not, there's not an actual tempo that it's relative to you. So if someone talks quickly to me, I'm like, great, they can keep up with me. We'll go back and forth. But if someone's a slow talking person, that doesn't mean they're a bad person. I need to talk slowly like they do.

[00:37:04] Brian': Here's even more important. If you, if, if you talk significantly slower than somebody else, you know what they think? They think you're dumb. Learn to be that chameleon, that's

[00:37:17] Suneet: Yeah,

[00:37:17] Brian': you do it. Do that

[00:37:19] Suneet: I need, you know, I think I want to work on this more. And the thing that I am missing is adding it to my like daily preparation of intentionally doing it. So I'm going to write a note right here. You guys, that's how important I think this is. Right?

[00:37:39] Brian': I love the have a process for that because how many people go through their life and go, that's a really good idea. And then 6 months later, they go, oh, shit, I was going to do that thing. They never do it. Right? Have a process. I think that's super important. And by the way, building rapport with people is fun.

[00:37:55] Brian': If you want to be, if you're a single person, I'm not, I'm not suggesting this for married folk, go sit in a bar, mirror and match somebody across the room. Yeah. You'd be surprised how many people will come up and talk to you. No,

[00:38:09] Suneet: Yeah. And don't, don't stare at them oddly as you're doing it. Right. Yeah,

[00:38:16] Brian': I'm just saying see somebody who you might be interested in having a conversation with and mirror and match them. Here's, I'm going to go back to 126 versus 2 million. This is why this number matters. Well, they're not, didn't even see me. Yes, they did. They saw you on an unconscious level and had no idea.

[00:38:33] Brian': Because you're taking in 2 million bits of information. You're not processing time.

[00:38:37] Suneet: dude, dude, good addition to that. I love this stuff. I love it. And I think that people need to be aware of this, uh, especially salespeople. Right. That's actually leaders

[00:38:56] Brian': think, yeah, exactly. Think about it from this perspective, right? This is when I initially started learning this stuff and initially started teaching it. My thought was this, how can I get more transactions, right? Every real estate agent wants to make more money, right? And I respect that. Me too.

[00:39:10] Suneet: I think the reason that my dad got into it was he was divorced at the time and he wanted a day more women.

[00:39:17] Brian': there's another reason,

[00:39:18] Suneet: Right. Yeah.

[00:39:19] Brian': not my training, but fair enough. You know, it's, it's respectable, like, no, but think about it. There's two ways

[00:39:25] Suneet: mean necessary.

[00:39:29] Brian': Amen. So there's two ways to get more sales. Close at your current rate. In other words, I close at 10%. I'll just make that number up and talk to more people. Now you get more sales, right? Pretty simple. Or increase the percentage of people that you close. That those are the only two ways that I know to get more business at the current rate.

[00:39:49] Brian': So I'll be honest. I didn't want to talk to him. That sounded hard. It's also sounded like it had a really low ceiling because okay. Instead of working 10 hours a day, I'll work 12 hours a day. Okay. But eventually I run out of hours in the day. Like I can't work 26 hours a day. That one's hard. So. Why not just learn how to have better conversations with people and close people at a higher percentage?

[00:40:14] Brian': Well, what is that about? That to me was about learning to get them to connect with me more, learning to make them feel comfortable and then having persuasive ways to communicate with them. That's. That was the key for me. And I just, I hate to say it. Sometimes I don't want to talk to anybody else. It gets tiring.

[00:40:32] Brian': You know, you do it all day long. You run out of hours. And, you know, I literally ran out of hours in the day. My best year as a single agent, I did 94 deals.

[00:40:41] Suneet: Oh, brutal.

[00:40:42] Brian': have any more time. You know, I just didn't. So if I wanted to make more money, I had to change the way I was doing something

[00:40:50] Suneet: Yeah. And that's what makes sense, right? Is like, get more results from the work you're currently doing by getting better at what you're doing, right. And thinking bigger, right. And learning the cool stuff that works.

[00:41:04] Brian': right. So is that worth it to have a five minute routine? To put yourself in a place where you're in a, in a flow state. Everyone, anyone, everyone knows what that is. Probably wouldn't it, isn't it worth your time to put, spend five minutes, put yourself in a flow state before you go talk to somebody who's going to pay you 30, 40, 50, 000. Isn't that worth before I make that phone call? Isn't that worth it? Before I tell this buyer, they have to sign this document before they can get it in a house. Isn't it worth it for me to have these little skills so that I can go ahead and Make this industry, which is a challenging industry. Let's face it.

[00:41:38] Suneet: Yeah, they're hard to tell this year. Right? Yeah,

[00:41:41] Brian': I mean, it's, it's a roller coaster ride. Like, you know, I've talked to, you know, Eric, he's my, uh, he's my broker. My principal broker has been for years. And, uh, I remember him having the best month of his life. He's going to make like 40 grand and every single one of those deals fell apart.

[00:41:57] Brian': Wasn't his fault. I'm not telling that to say bad about you at that point in time, you better have some tools

[00:42:03] Suneet: Yeah.

[00:42:04] Brian': that's a bad damn day.

[00:42:06] Suneet: Dude, this is so powerful. So let me ask you, um, where are, what advice do you have for a team leader, someone listening to this podcast or maybe even a solo agent? What advice do you have to them? Although you can pretty much gave it, but let's give them some direct advice on what to do.

[00:42:29] Brian': Very simply, you know, Jim quick says you can control two hours of your day. I don't know if you're a Jim quick fan or not, but yeah, boy with a broken brain. Those of you don't know him. Great guy. You can control the first hour in the last that's from him, not from me. So how are you starting your day out as the very first simple thing?

[00:42:45] Brian': Are you starting your day out in a powerful way that sets you up to have success? That's simple. And then how are you ending your day? Are you spend, are you just like, screw it, I'm done? Or do you have a process? So those are my front and back, very simple.

[00:43:00] Suneet: I'm doing good because I have a process for both Brad and myself.

[00:43:06] Brian': And then how do you put yourself in state? Like, how do you put yourself in a flow state? How do you put yourself in a peak state? I'll throw some ideas out there. I'll use Tony Robbins. Absolute favorite one is what's called anchoring, and you can do research on anchoring. There's classes on it. Um, it's an NLP technique that Tony used.

[00:43:25] Brian': Who did he use it with? There's a, this tennis player named Serena Williams. If you happen to know who she is and I'm not even a tennis fan, like I can't tell you

[00:43:32] Suneet: Yeah. We know everyone knows us three.

[00:43:34] Brian': but everybody knows Serena Williams, you know, Serena Williams went from the number one tennis. Player in the world on the women's side to like, basically unranked

[00:43:44] Suneet: Oh, really?

[00:43:45] Brian': Yeah, she went and worked with Tony Robbins. What Tony Robbins does. He anchored her into state over and over and over again. And that's the majority of what he did with her. I mean, he did some other stuff behind the scenes, I'm sure. But basically he taught herself when you walk on that tennis court, you better be the best damn version of yourself or you're not going to win.

[00:44:04] Brian': And literally she went back up to number one again. So

[00:44:08] Suneet: Wow. I've never heard of that. I knew they worked with each other, but that's wild,

[00:44:14] Brian': Well, you're in, you're in, uh, and you're in California. I know Sacramento, but he also worked with the golden state warriors. And I know that's in San Francisco,

[00:44:22] Suneet: Yeah.

[00:44:23] Brian': but he worked with the golden state warriors. I saw him on the bench one day and I was, I was watching a basketball game and rewound it. And I froze it.

[00:44:29] Brian': I was like, Holy crap, that's Tony Robbins. He's sitting there talking to Seth Curry. But, um, you know, those are the kinds of things that we do. So what isn't, what is that anchoring? Basically, I'm going to tell you a goofy thing. I've got a little. I got a button, which is just my knuckle that when I push this, it will literally cause me to go in and back into a certain state that's anchoring is we have anchors, whether we want to or not.

[00:44:50] Brian': So, uh, you know, we'll go with Christine's not watching this again because we already talked about that. But, uh, is there a song that you could hear on the radio that would take you back and maybe have a memory of some other person that you knew in high school?

[00:45:04] Suneet: Oh, hell yeah.

[00:45:06] Brian': Now, yeah. Now, Sidney did not sit around and listen to a song over and over and over again and go, great, 25 years from now, I'm going to think of this song so I can think of this person.

[00:45:15] Brian': It happened accidentally, right? It's just, what if you did that on purpose?

[00:45:21] Suneet: Yeah.

[00:45:22] Brian': if you created something that anytime you wanted to, you could be in a state of confidence? What if you did that anytime you wanted to, you could be in a state of motivation? Those are called anchors and you can create those.

[00:45:32] Brian': And it's a relatively simple process. So again, we don't have enough time to teach anchoring. That's about an hour and a half class, but there's, there's plenty of videos out there on it. You can go watch. So whether you,

[00:45:43] Suneet: using totems for anchoring?

[00:45:46] Brian': so tell me what you

[00:45:47] Suneet: that?

[00:45:48] Brian': tell me what, tell me what you mean by totem. So

[00:45:51] Suneet: on a certain necklace or putting on a. Certain shirt, right?

[00:46:03] Brian': this is, there's a little bit more to this, but yeah, this is a, this is a necklace that I bought in 2012 at a Tony Robbins event,

[00:46:10] Suneet: Oh, yeah,

[00:46:12] Brian': So. This to me is when I need motivation, I put this on literally in it, in it, in it, it's hardwired to me for motivation.

[00:46:21] Suneet: yeah. So, I mean, I think a totem to, I don't know if that's a totem. I think that's called something else. Um, there's a book by Todd Herman.

[00:46:31] Brian': oh, that's a, your alter ego.

[00:46:34] Suneet: But, uh, I think, you know, totem is like channeling, like something else, like an animal or something like, I know for me, I don't know if you ever met him, but I used to have that dog named Obi Wan, um, J U A N. Um, but he was a big 140 pound American bulldog. And we remember when I had all those big dogs and, um, I don't have any American bulldogs anymore.

[00:46:57] Suneet: End of era. Um, um, and, um, But, uh, before I get on stage, I always channel Obi Wan, right? Cause he was a big beast. And just represented strength, represented this like confidence. And I think about that before I get on stage,

[00:47:16] Brian': There you go. You know, before I go on stage or before I, before I come on a podcast or something like that, I have a process.

[00:47:24] Suneet: I had to process to, but we don't even talk about that. Yeah.

[00:47:31] Brian': But I put myself in a place so that I know that, I mean, I hope people get stuff from this.

[00:47:37] Brian': I don't want to show up half ass. I really don't. I want to show up on fire, ready to go. So need to ask me some question we didn't plan about. I want to be able to answer it because I'm in my place. You know, it's funny. I was at a training this summer and at this training is literally a training where you learn something and then you go stand in front of a group of people and do it so, you know, can be a little, you know, pucker factor can can come up like you're standing in front of a group of people doing something you've never done that you learn 15 minutes ago.

[00:48:05] Suneet: Oh, but I love that, dude. What programming that is.

[00:48:09] Brian': So here's what I learned. We talked about the learning state, the alpha brainwave state earlier. So I'm standing in front of this group of people in this day called Demo Day. Demo Day is there's 20 different demos that you could possibly be told to do. They're all NLP techniques. You don't get to use the script any other time you'll have scripts.

[00:48:27] Brian': So from memory, you have to go through and demonstrate how to do something. And I remember standing there and the guy goes, I was literally the second person out of like 20 people to go and he's like, okay, I want you to demo this. And I went, holy shit. I can't remember what that means. Like, you know, those moments when stress hits you.

[00:48:44] Brian': And, and I was stood and I stood there for about 15 seconds and I did three things. This is going to sound funny, but I breathed. That was the first thing I did. I took a breath. And by the way, that's very powerful. Talk about Hawaiian stuff for a second. There's a term that's a derogatory term that Hawaiians use about white folk.

[00:49:01] Brian': It's called a haole. What that means is people who don't breathe.

[00:49:06] Suneet: Wow,

[00:49:08] Brian': The Hawaiians focused on their breath. It was very important to them. So, breathe. Like it's oxygen to this freaking thing so you can use it right instead of what most people do when they stress out. They hold their breath. That's not real effective.

[00:49:22] Brian': So are they or they breathe shallow. So they're literally getting less oxygen. Step one in every situation where you're in a stressful situation. Take a breath. And then there's a process called grounding. There's a million ways to ground. You can go look it up on the internet, google, you know, so ground.

[00:49:39] Brian': So literally just making yourself feel a little bit more solid, a little bit more in your base and then put yourself in that brainwaves state. And I did that right in that moment. And then 15 seconds later, I just started talking. And I did great. And I'm not telling you that to brag. I'm telling you that because agents all the time across the country do not have a process when they don't know what the hell to do.

[00:50:02] Brian': They go, uh, and then they say weird shit, and then people go, I wonder why that guy didn't work with me. Well, you said some really dumb stuff and it made no sense because you didn't know what to say and you didn't have a process to stop the process. Put yourself in the right state and then answer that question.

[00:50:18] Brian': So yeah, learn a process. And again, you can use my press. There's a million of them out there. You can go to Tony Robbins. You can, all his videos are free nowadays. Just about. You can learn all this stuff that I'm talking about, anchoring, grounding. You can do that. Or hell call me, I'll help you.

[00:50:32] Suneet: Yeah.

[00:50:33] Brian': this is not, it's funny because I heard my coach say this one time.

[00:50:38] Brian': He said, you know what, Brian, the most powerful things are the simple things.

[00:50:42] Suneet: Yeah. John said that all the time, dude. Yeah. John said that he said it to me three times today.

[00:50:48] Brian': yeah. So instead we're all after this shiny, beautiful, cool object and it's great. And you're like,

[00:50:54] Suneet: we're looking for easy ways. We're looking for hacks

[00:50:57] Brian': well,

[00:50:57] Suneet: of just doing the damn work.

[00:50:59] Brian': well, here's the thing though, the stuff I'm talking about is a hack.

[00:51:05] Suneet: But yeah, yeah.

[00:51:07] Brian': And so. Do people really want the hack?

[00:51:10] Suneet: Well, I mean, here's the thing is. People want the easy button.

[00:51:14] Brian': They do. What I'm going to suggest is you can build the easy button.

[00:51:19] Suneet: Yes,

[00:51:20] Brian': So today it's not easy because it's new. So, you know, we'll, we'll go back to another NLP concept. In every given moment, you have seven chunks of information that you can process plus or minus two. So in other words, when you're in a really good state, you can have, you can process nine chunks of information at a time when you're in a bad state.

[00:51:39] Brian': Let's say you've had six shots. You may only get five chunks that you can do in that time.

[00:51:43] Suneet: sure.

[00:51:44] Brian': I know you would never do that. But so I want you to think about what we do though. So things are hard the first time we do it. I want you to think about the first time you drove a car.

[00:51:54] Suneet: Yeah. Super hard. And that

[00:51:56] Brian': got in the car and you're like, I don't know, I'm going to put my seatbelt on.

[00:51:59] Brian': My mom said I should turn the radio off. My dad, whoever's teaching you, um, you know, back in my day, you may actually had to put the clutch in cause we actually had standard transmissions. I learned to drive on a standard. So. But think that literally took all seven of my chunks, like turn the car on, there was a key, you know, you didn't push a button, you know, all this stuff had to happen now.

[00:52:21] Brian': I asked people this all the time. Do you remember how you got homeless this afternoon? They're like, no, because this thing that was ungodly difficult. You do without even thinking about it anymore, but you got to do the work ahead of time. In other words, the first time you build rapport shouldn't be in front of a client.

[00:52:40] Brian': The first time you try and ground shouldn't be in front of a client. The first time you try and use an anchor shouldn't be in front of a client. Build that up and it'll just become like breathing, just like driving. And it does become easy. There's all this work up until it becomes easy. And that's the thing that people are not willing to do is the work to get it to the hack.

[00:53:02] Suneet: Wow, dude. So, so much good stuff. If people want to reach out to you and get more information, where should they go?

[00:53:10] Brian': My coaching site is one 26 coaching. com. So feel free to visit me there. Um, I'm on Facebook, feel free to, you know, shoot me a direct message. I check those every day, just because every once in a while someone has something to say to me. And that's probably the two easiest ways to get ahold of me. And you know, I love that.

[00:53:27] Brian': I love this stuff. You know, it's, uh, I love that. It's funny. I, I walk and breathe it now and I didn't and I, and that's why it's easy for me, not because I'm better than anybody else, but because I just spent a bunch of time doing it like literally just like driving a car, right? Driving a car for a 15 year old seems impossible.

[00:53:46] Brian': Driving a car for me and you is just like breathing. Same thing here. All of this stuff becomes easy when you do it over time. Your brain's extremely powerful and use it. I'll leave with this thought. Most people are trying to solve conscious, solve their problems with their conscious mind, the dumb part of their mind.

[00:54:03] Brian': I know they're like, well, I just insulted a whole bunch of people. That's awesome. But understand this, that 40 pulses per second and you're in, in your frontal lobe. In the same time, the rest of your brain has four, 4 million pulses. Stop trying to solve unconscious problems with conscious solutions. So learn to learn about those things at an unconscious level, create anchors.

[00:54:25] Brian': Those are an unconscious thing. Create processes. They're unconscious. You know, there's a whole bunch of real estate agents who can do a whole bunch of stuff unconscious that they thought was really hard at one point in time. There's other things that you can learn, like, I don't know, sales, communication, all of these things.

[00:54:41] Brian': Find something and then lastly, pick it and do it. So how many trainings have you gone to? And I'll fall in the same category. We go to a great training because that is the most brilliant freaking thing I've ever heard in my life. Do nothing.

[00:54:54] Suneet: How many books have you read where you didn't take a single note or implement anything? It's depressing.

[00:55:01] Brian': I mean, uh, you know, and that's been the difference for me in the last couple of years. It's taking the stuff that I'm learning and applying it on a day to day basis. And I'm like, wow, that is just better. And, uh, you know, staying in tight with that, having accountability partners that helped me do it. If you're, if you're a person who struggles with accountability, I do sometimes I like to have fun.

[00:55:21] Brian': I don't want to work, but, uh, you know, I have someone holding me accountable to those things. So. Anyway, I'm all over the place. I'm just excited. And I really appreciate you guys having me here today.

[00:55:29] Suneet: Yeah, dude. So good. I like, I'm fucking, I'm sorry. I have all these notes. Sorry, everybody. I dropped that bomb. Um,

[00:55:38] Brian': Damn it. I was wanting to drop the F bomb. Okay.

[00:55:40] Suneet: yeah, um, I took all these notes, dude.

[00:55:45] Brian': appreciate that. That makes me feel good.

[00:55:47] Suneet: Yeah, I took all these notes. This was, this was really good, dude. Thank you so much for joining us and sharing all these awesome insights, um, for everybody out there. Hey, I hope you liked this episode. I know I did. I'm going to listen to it again. Um, Maybe fast forward the parts that I talk, but, um, cause I don't want to hear my own voice.

[00:56:08] Suneet: Right. Um, but, um, don't forget to like this video, subscribe to our channel. And if you, you know, like share this with a friend, this was really good for a lot of stuff. We have so many more amazing guests and actionable info coming your way on future episodes. Uh, so thank you for listening and we'll see you in the next episode of the reside platform podcast.

[00:56:33] Suneet: Bye guys.

[00:56:37] Brian': Thanks, man. Take this coat off. It's