Ep 36 | Navigating the Market: #1 Loan Officer in the Nation | with Shant Banosian

[00:00:00] Les: I am so excited about today's episode because we are diving directly into the people in our life. Those who make us or break us, is what the chapter of this wonderful book that we are going through today, as well as the tools that we are covering from the giant os. That operating system that I am partnered with in life for really helping bring out the best in others to really delve into, Honestly, it's straight up the, name in the book, which is Conquer, Chaos, and Fine Fulfillment.

[00:00:27] Les: That's what we are doing here, folks. We're helping you overcome that dirty laundry that we've piled on the clean floor of life, of your life where peace actually is residing. It's always there. It's never gone. It's always. We've just dumped and allowed other people to dump all their dirty laundry on top of it and accept it as this is where we are.

[00:00:46] Les: But that's the chaos. And today we are talking about you and your piece, where we can find that fulfillment that uncluttered gets, cleans the dirty laundry folds, dirty laundry, puts it back in its place, and nice tidy drawers. Man, my drawers are a mess right now.

[00:01:00] Les: That is not a good example for me, by the way. I gotta tell. When it comes to where my laundry goes and how I take care of my man, my drawers are a mess. But when it comes to life, I find myself more and more using these tools, finding that great sense of peace that passes understanding, that goes beyond what's actually happening in the external world, whether we are at war or we are at peace.

[00:01:26] Les: I can choose peace today. And we are diving deep into that. And today it's about the people, the people who make or break us. I think I wanna start with the story. the story is about me and, so I'm, gonna talk about this as though I'm gonna ask you if you've experienced this before.

[00:01:43] Les: I've gone to lunch with certain folks and, had this experience where I, go to lunch with them and I sit down at the table and they pull their phone out of the pocket, and I may have been this guy before too, I'm just saying, and I set it down on the table, face up, throughout the entire meal it's buzz.

[00:02:03] Les: Buzzing. The guy picks it up. The gal picks it up, they look at it, they, Oh, just one second. And they take a couple of notes or type a text back and they set it back down. And then we have to refocus again. Or they get a phone call and they're like, Oh dude, I gotta take this real quick.

[00:02:17] Les: And they, take that call and they're just like, Okay, what's going on? Have you ever experienced that guy, that gal, that person, Do you ever feel in that moment that this person is for you? Or for themselves. You see the people in our lives that where we're talking about this and what influences that piece inside of us is how we are surrounding and aligning ourselves with those in our life who build us up.

[00:02:44] Les: I know that my family at times has been incredibly supportive across the board and I also know at times that it's been really hard for them to be supportive of. I remember back in the day when I was going through an intensive, ripping apart, shredding, if you will, of my own understanding of this world as I got my theology degree.

[00:03:05] Les: It was like a boot camp where they kind of stripped you down of everything that you thought you knew in order to rebuild you up on the basis of facts and truth and things that came from way back when. It kind of lets go of what we think we know today in order to be able to get back to the, foundational truths.

[00:03:21] Les: Man, in that time, it was like, they even warned us, they said, Don't talk to. In fact, they gave us a little book by I don't remember the name of the book. It was by a guy named Tilk who really was the idea was, Hey, you new theologian student, just shut up until you're done . It was literally pretty much that abrupt, They literally could have just said that and not given anything else because it's true.

[00:03:42] Les: That in those moments when I was chasing something different, something more concrete, trying to establish for myself an understanding of things in this life and how things might be operating, I was all over the map and when I opened my mouth, I found myself not feeling very supported because I did not have any clarity around what I was doing.

[00:04:02] Les: And it threatened everything that everyone around me believed and thought they understood as. Today we're talking about that kind of source for, for our piece, how those external people in our life might weigh upon us or lift us up. And it may challenge you because it may ask you to think about different questions about what it looks like for you to either call people up to a, different.

[00:04:31] Les: Or to level yourself up to another state. There's an idea out there in our world today that you are the average of the five people that you hang around with most. And the response in that a lot of times is something that just is kind of deeply disturbing for me because it's very much a for me kind of mentality, which is you're not equaling the average that you wanna.

[00:04:50] Les: If your average is low because of the people that you're hanging around with, then it is maybe it's time for you to just get rid of those friends and then go on and find new friends. And I'm not gonna lie, there may be a time and a place for that, depending upon how you want to, roll into the next phase of your life and find peace for yourself.

[00:05:06] Les: But I think it's an oversimplification of something because the only reason that I believe that we should ever level up our friendships, it is truly as my shirt states fighting for the highest good of everyone. It doesn't mean that we leave people behind, but it does mean that we begin to recognize that those people may be holding us back from moving forward.

[00:05:28] Les: And there may be for a time that we've gotta live into that piece so that they can begin to discover and see the leader that has gone ahead of them, the one who has gone ahead of them, to help them discover that true and depth, that depth and that fulfillment that can come when we are able to conquer chaos.

[00:05:43] Les: And it may be that it is you, that is actually the thing that is holding them back because you are not going after your purpose to the full dis full. That you are the one holding back. that by, resisting that, willingness to call them up to a new level of life together or leveling yourself up, that it may be you.

[00:06:02] Les: That is ultimately the thing that is really, that is keeping all of us from truly finding the fullness of peace, because you have something to offer that you are withholding because you don't wanna hurt someone. You don't wanna take a step forward and make, make hard calls and do things that are the best for you and for us all.

[00:06:23] Les: Now, I'm sure that could be misunderstand in all sorts of ways, but I think the real key here is really beginning to understand that, when we can allow our inner peace not to be affected by those outside of us, and we can make steps and stride. With the idea that we are fighting for the highest good of all of the people in our life, when we can set that intention and live more fully into it, every decision that we make allows us to stay, take a step more firmly into that piece for ourselves.

[00:06:55] Les: That will then allow us to just maintain that no matter what outside influence the people in our life might press upon us. The Dai Lama says, Do not let the behaviors of others destroy your inner peace. I think that's a beautiful sentiment for how we are able to actually begin the process of first and foremost, unlocking peace within ourselves because we can allow the fact that we know that that dirty laundry that is all around us is not where our piece resides, and that we know and have the tools to control the things that we can control within the, in the midst of chaos, and those that we cannot, well, they're outside of us, they're not ours.

[00:07:34] Les: So we can move forward knowing that we've done all that we can for that particular thing. Now, here's what happens in the midst of this idea of calling people up or, leveling up our people in our world, is that sometimes we get into this mode of, self-protective, self-preservation strategies.

[00:07:49] Les: I have got many self-preservation strategies that started at a very early age because my name was Leslie. then I was called less, and that's not a real powerful name and I have never really loved it or owned it and I was rut and all the things that led to me getting bullied or beat up in, that's even not even a true story.

[00:08:06] Les: It just felt like getting beat up in my life. I never was. Truly bullied to the fullest degree, but I was an easy target and all my life allowed those outside influences to make fun of me. And so I even started to join in and, in order to protect myself, get to the joke, get to the punchline about myself before they could, in hopes that that would get them off of my butt.

[00:08:30] Les: But the truth is, that led me to, into a even darker time in my life where I just didn't feel peace nor love, nor cared. So I have been my entire life seeking to try to break free from some of the self-preservation strategies that I have that ultimately are all about me and that are for me in order to flip them and to switch them so that I could be for others and to be more focusing in on doing unto others is I would have them do unto, unto.

[00:08:59] Les: Or the platinum rule as it goes, which is not as, I don't love it as much, but it's still effective, which is do unto others as they would have the have you do unto them. And I could go into that and we'll go into that another time. But at the core of it, when I began to take my focus into realize and lean into what does it mean to love people the way that they desire to be loved.

[00:09:20] Les: What does it mean? When I can rate, I can begin to shift the definition of love from a Hollywood notion of ey, gooey romanticism or some hodgepodge of love is, you being in service to me and move it into this idea that love is this thing that just continually acts upon. It's a force that rains down upon the good and the evil, as as scripture.

[00:09:45] Les: It pours upon them and it allows everyone to flourish. The difference is between whether one is, how one receives that love is really and the acknowledgement of their own worthiness. It's in their own willingness to step into their, own piece, to, truly begin to understand that at the core of the who they are, that you, my friend, many, many, many years ago, some would say billions.

[00:10:10] Les: I would say billions, 16 billion years. Something was said in motion like that, and every step along the way has been done and orchestrated so that you right now could be here at this place in time today. So as a person yourself and as of the people that are around you, To be able to create a world where others in your life can see that vision of how important they are, because everything throughout the history of, the cosmos has been orchestrated for you and for me to be here at this time.

[00:10:47] Les: My goodness. What a powerful display of the amenity of just who you are is, there for the. Every single person that is alive today has a distinct and utter purpose. And I mean that from those who you hang out with to those that are the underserved in our world. It is an amazing thing to begin to see how we were put here at this particular time in our world.

[00:11:11] Les: And so as we move into this, I want you to kind of lean into something for me here, and we're gonna, dive into this. I want you to write down and here's the exercise for today. I want you to take a moment, and I want you to write down the 10 people in your life that are really the most influential for you right now.

[00:11:29] Les: It for me. It would be my wife, it would be my kids. It would be it'd be a good friend of mine named Kelly Flanigan, a great guy John Roman. Several guys that are in, my life that I care so deeply about. and I want you to put next to this, and don't, spend too much time overthinking this next to each one of them.

[00:11:47] Les: And on this list, I want you to write a percentage of how. They ultimately bring you peace. Are they peacemaker? Peacemaker, like a hundred percent Peacemakers, That's what that would be. Zero would be, Well, they kind of suck, and yet I let them stay in my life. I mean, I don't know. They may not suck, but you know what I mean.

[00:12:06] Les: Where do they land on your peacefulness scale? A hundred percent being very peaceful. Zero. Otherwise, and I want you to do that for the top 10. It could be. That's okay. If you've got 20, you may be a connector like me, and you've got a hundred up at the top, but if you can limit it to 20, probably best, and I want you to add up the total percentages of all of those.

[00:12:29] Les: And if you got 10 divided by 10, if you got 20 divided by 20, and that number is going to be your piece index. For example, if you added up, all the percentages of your top 10 and it was 735, you divide that by 10 and you get. Oh, let's see. Do math move the decimal over 73.5%. That's what you've got right there.

[00:12:48] Les: And that is gonna be your peace index for the people in your life. So people of peace, are they there? Or are you in a desperate moment of needing more people of peace in your life? Moving on to the next thing. Tomorrow we are going to be diving into place. The places that you live, the places you.

[00:13:09] Les: that special place, maybe it's a beautiful creek next to your house, maybe it's on the golf course, Who knows the places is where we're going next. And I, ask you to join us again tomorrow as we dive deep to find that chaos within you so that we can conquer it to find greater fulfillment in our lives together.

[00:13:27] Les: So for now, piece to.