The Attorney Who Refuses to Apologize for Masculine Energy with Tyler Vance

Tyler that toxic masculinity like it? No, it's just being a fucking man. it's like we get attacked for it. It's like, no, like I'm supposed to be in control. there's some times where, like, well, you shouldn't have said that or you shouldn't have done that or. Well, that was aggressive. I'm like, no, it's being a man and stepping into the role of the man. Hector Welcome to the modern masculinity. But thanks for being here, man. Thank you for having me. for those who are, I'll give a quick intro before we get into this. For those who are just catching on to who you are, give a quick little background and then we'll just get into, you know, what we get into today. So, uh, despite what some. Tyler People think, I'm a first generation attorney. My mom's a school teacher, my dad's a contractor. law just fits the way I think. ironically, UC Santa Barbara had a lot of fun up there. we had to take a professional writing course, and I chose legal writing. And the way legal writing works fits my brain. Uh, there's much smarter people than me who don't pass the bar because it's just it's a different type of test. You know, a baseball player can't shoot a free throw, and a basketball player can't throw a strike. It's just they're different skill sets. I'm not better than anyone. It's just it. It is what? My natural brain fits. And so I had a wonderful lady out there in Santa Barbara who was like, I really encourage you to go to law school. And like, I really didn't know what I wanted to do in my life at that point. And I was like, I can say two sentences and I don't need to write five pages. This is wonderful. Like, it's like the all through school. Like all through most education teaches more. The merrier. Law is the judge does not give a fuck what you have to say. Make your point. Cut the fluff out. Tell me what I need to know. And like. That's one of the biggest things I've learned throughout my career. Keep it short. Put the main points in the beginning and the judge is going to be happy. The judge is going to rule on your side. And you know, a lot of a lot of attorneys truthfully don't see a judge. Don't. You're not in front of a judge. So it's just something that they don't experience. I've been blessed to have great mentors. don't know if I should say John Mentor and Rancho Cucamonga and Andrea Rice and, uh, Wesley, two people I'm very, very grateful for that shaped my career tremendously. Um, and I'm thankful for it. but it's I didn't plan on doing litigation. When I was in, uh, law school. I did a tax lien, which is usually transactional based, and litigation just found me. And I'm happy. Hector It's we were setting up the shot here, and it was interesting as you were talking to a partner or someone in the firm, and you were basically going over your arguments and you were like, essentially you were you were saying like the the argument that they were bringing up or that was was proposition, like didn't make any logical sense. And you just you had so much pragmatism to it. And I think that that is an inherently like masculine trait is to bring logic to something, and it seems like the world seems to be getting more and more illogical as we go by. Tyler I'll phrase it even a different way. The world lacks common sense. I mean, common sense is a common anymore is the biggest problem. I mean, listen, everyone wants to make it a right or a left. It's not a right or a left. It's a fucking human argument. You don't don't support Trump blindly. Don't support the left blindly. Don't support anyone blindly. Have your own values. Know who you are as a person. Say this is what I believe in. I respect people, I respect humans, and, you know, do what's decent. sometimes, decency gets left aside because I'm right or left. Um, I'm clearly leaning right. I'm not gonna lie. My last name is fucking Vance. But it's a big right name right now. Hector The memes were great if you follow Tyler, uh. Tyler Because cousin Jade. And it's funny, I even in the professional world so many attorneys. Sometimes you can tell it comes from a place of hatred almost. Oh, oh, you're a Vance. Oh, are you related to JD or sometimes it's like, oh, are you related to JD? And so like, listen, I try to stay neutral because, listen, my politics don't have anything to do with my client's position or what I do for work. It is a reality. I am who I am and you, you can't separate those things. That's just the life we live. I mean, I enjoyed it. It has made things funnier for me. personally I consider myself a libertarian. Socially, I'm liberal as fuck. Fiscally, I'm very conservative. Uh, and that probably makes a lot of conservatives happy because the, the social side of it is more the moral side of it. And that also probably pisses off a lot of liberals because socially they're like, well, you don't agree with our principles. I'm like, I am who I am. Get over it. Hector It makes me think of that. It's sort of been a meme. But, you know, I think we're we're I think almost the same age. I'm thirty four. Thirty. Thirty three. So we're, you know, we went through much of the same thing in high school. And I remember being sort of, you know, a Democrat back in high school or more of the progressive side. And there's that meme where it talks about, like the guy who's in the middle and the the boundaries keep getting stretched further and further, and the person, he's staying in the same spot. But what was considered progressive or left or right, has just shifted so much over these last years that, um, it's different, you know, than it was before. Tyler So I have a couple thoughts on this. Number one, I think Elon was the one who said I didn't become conservative. The left left me. a lot of the left is drastically, you know, wanting to protect certain rights and at the expense of other rights which they this tolerance, they preach, they don't realize they're being intolerant to other groups. but with that being said, I was just in West Virginia, an area where you would think is very conservative. I was the only there was actually one guy from, uh, Atlanta, Georgia, and everyone else was West Virginia. It was probably the most conservative person there, and I was fucking confused about it. Like, I was like. Like she's from West Virginia. Uh, and but we were talking about it, and I'm happy we're talking about this here, because at the end of the day, most people are more centered than you realize, but the only voices you will ever hear in the media are way out here and way out here, because you want to know why these two are the ones that create Funny stories. Publicity. Like, most people don't hate each other. I mean, most people you run into are not like. Excuse my language. Go fuck yourself. It's like they don't look at you and think that, like, that's just not how most Americans are. The media may want to think that. And we may think, oh, the world's going to hell because of what we see in the media. But that's because in the fifties, you didn't have Twitter showing you every cop shooting, every shooting thing in your neighborhood. Like, it's it's I'm not sure how much the world has actually changed or how much we receive from the world that we didn't know before. It's just that a downside of the beautiful things we have in life. Hector It makes me think about that sort of phenomenon that you see in large cities where people essentially get dehumanized, right? And I think they've they've sort of seen it in sort of animal populations that once you hit a certain density, right, like, you know, essentially morality or that relationship, that interpersonal relationship goes out the window and that creates a lack of responsibility. And I think we're sort of seeing it like at a macro macro where everyone is checking out and, and then the fucking city in the world is burning. Tyler Well, so I agree. And it becomes a. What you were just talking about, where you're not held accountable for your actions essentially is the way I what I just took of what you said where people are looting stores. So there was not to get too specific about where we're at. a day or two ago, there was a gentleman in this immediate area who was robbed at gunpoint on video of a six hundred thousand dollars watch off his wrist, and it's like broad daylight, a gated fucking parking garage, and there's cameras everywhere. These people are going to be caught. I mean, he truthfully, he's lucky he didn't die. If you look at the video, he goes like this, he cocks it, he tries to shoot. I don't know if he if the gun actually jammed or if he was just someone who was paid to go do this, and it wasn't a big chance. It wasn't a real gun. And, I mean, I'm not the most gun savvy person, so I'm not going to sit here and act like I know anything about this. But you can see he cocks and goes like this and he's like. And the guy like you, I couldn't imagine getting a gun pointed in my face. They're trying to rip a watch of this hand, trying to rip a watch off your wrist. Like, how do you how do you resell a watch? That's six hundred thousand dollars. It's one of so many. Like, I just I don't I don't understand what goes through people's mind. Like, go get a job. What do you think this. How do you gain in life from this? Hector You know, something that I'm curious to get your insight on because I've had this realization. I'm. mostly libertarian. And I've also realized that we especially. Thirty something year old are living on the back end of a system that I guess just factually was not totally transparent. You could pick all of the rabbit holes that you want to go down. And so there's a level of extraction that happens. And, and I can't help but recognize that there is a certain group of people who are benefiting from this sort of, let's call it, extraction of it. Right. They are taking advantage of these people, and there are certain people are at a disadvantage because of said decisions that were made X amount of years ago or whatever it is. And so I am challenged with my libertarian pull your bootstraps up, you know, go figure it out. Take responsibility. And also I can't help but think that the system has been rigged against our favor in X amount of ways. And so, like, I'm trying to to marry those two perspectives. I. Tyler I agree with everything you said. I think this is this is what the left missed about Trump. And this is what Trump ate up. And this is how Trump got elected twice, three times. However many times you want to say just to piss everyone off. Um, and but this is this is, you know, you know, bash him now on this is he's not I mean, I personally where I sit here today, I don't think he is this godsend during the swamp. Go fuck yourself. Like he's he's not done that. Like Kash Patel said, the Epstein list doesn't exist. Go fuck yourself. I mean, he. Kash Patel's podcast, all this Bullshit was, you know, the Epstein list. Epstein list. And now you get in the position of power and you're going to fold like, what the fuck? Like I just, I don't understand and like, there's there's so many, you know, I'll tell you Trump kept a lot of things, he said. But there's a lot of major things that he's just, you know, bitched out on, like for lack of a better word. And it's funny you talked about growing up, so and I'll admit a fault when I'm wrong. Uh, I thought Bush and I'll tell you w little Bush, I liked him. I wrote my, I think, senior high school thesis on Bush. And in hindsight, where I sit here today, he was probably wrong. Let's let's forget nine eleven. Weapons of mass destruction. All those things he was he was wrong. But what I will tell you is he he took a position. He didn't fucking flip flop like most politicians today. You know what, boy party he did? What he did. He didn't. He took the position and he kept the position. Like so I'm like, even like, this is a poem. It's politicians on both sides. And I'm going to attack Republicans more, more so than than liberals on this. Because, you know, all these Republicans want to like, act like, oh, we're American first, motherfucker. Do you flip flop on everything? Like Mitt Romney, who was someone I didn't dislike, but that motherfucker flip flopped on every single thing. And like, it's part of the dichotomy of this two party system. Like, you, you have to get in line or you get your ass kicked out. Like you and I both, we both made this comment not talking to each other. We identify as a libertarian and like, to my core, socially, I'm liberal as fuck, fiscally I'm conservative as fuck. And. But you know what affects me more is my dollar. Who's fucking someone behind closed doors? What? What? You know those. Those things don't. Don't affect me. Is is is the reality. It's a little bit harsh. It's a little bit crude. It's the reality of it. You know, it affects me if I'm getting taxed sixty five percent, like, you know, that's my my family being hurt by that. Um, and then the bigger problem is, is where that money is being spent. all these NGO like, it's like, again, I get most people don't want to trash Trump. Trump didn't take that when you're wrong. Um, the NGOs look at these NGOs. Hector Let me double down on that because I see a lot of like, let's bucket him and say left left wing, you know, leaning people or liberals or Democrats, whatever you want to call them. Think that a lot of Republicans or conservatives are still on the Trump train. And I think that they don't realize how many of that base, how much of that quote unquote MAGA base is in the exact same seat as you? Tyler My two biggest problems right now is we have a two party system and there's so much money involved. Ellen. Ellen tried to introduce this new American party and fucking nowhere. He had introduced it months ago, and it's. It's nowhere today. No one's ever heard of it again. Hector I think it comes back to this responsibility. Right? There's been such a lot people releasing their their responsibility for the decisions that they're making, not realizing that it's now, you know, you talk about sixty five percent taxes. I'm in a little different place in my life where I'm worried about fucking why are eggs nine dollars, you know. And why is why is a grocery bill, you know, four hundred dollars to, to feed a family of whatever. You know, if you look at they've done those studies where the same grocery cart right in the app is now two x, the amount when inflation is part of it. Right. But it's not everything. It's not the whole thing. And so it doesn't explain why our lives are just seemingly like getting I don't mind hard I actually I enjoy hard. It's what I get caught up on is it seems to be unjust. It seems to be. And I don't know if fairness is the right word, that it's creeping into that word where like, okay, now you're fucking with my opportunity, which is what I get upset about. Tyler So you raised an interesting point here. And listen, the way I grew up, we used to eat the jack in the box dollar menu. McDonald's dollar menu. Like I used to be able to go when I was in middle school. Even in high school, I could go to Jack in the box and get a full meal. You know, two tacos, maybe two chicken sandwiches, you know, three fifty, maybe three fifty. And dude, that's ten bucks now. Like today, if I go get that, that's ten bucks. And I'm like, how the fuck did we get here? Number one? And my salary is not three times what my dad's salary was at the time. And I have a much better job than my dad. I'm not knocking my dad, but it's like the, housing pricing, the salaries. Like they've just not kept up with the cost of, of living and it's not a knock on my mom or dad. There's some people at the generation before us, our parents, who are like, well, back in my day and like, I bought my house at twenty two and I, you know, I did this, I did that. I'm like, you want to have a quick conversation? Look at your salary compared to the cost of like your meal every day, your housing costs, like, yeah, of course you didn't rent because it was cheaper to buy. Like, listen, I rent here because this area is incredibly expensive. I own a home, but that's I don't know if I'm sure and like it's, it's there is a cost benefit analysis and it doesn't make sense to like the not to mention interest rates have doubled or tripled from where I have them at two ninety nine. Um, golden handcuffs. Uh. Hector It's not a bad place to be. Tyler It's not the. Hector Worst. Tyler Place to be. but also like moving forward, it's like, okay, well, that's just an investment property now. Like, you're never gonna like. Realistically, there's financial situations where it may make sense, but in the grand scheme of things, it's like you're probably better off going on thirty years. I was thirty, twenty eight, twenty eight when I bought it, I think. Um, so I will be fifty eight when it's paid off and it's, it's, you know, it's sustainable. what it. Hector Concerns me with is for young men, like, let's put ourselves in that category. We might be on the older side of the young men category, but we're still in that what the, the at least before in generations past there was a, path that gave purpose. It was okay, you go out and you create a family, build a home. Like there was this American dream that, you know, people kind of point fingers at it, but at least it gave people a direction to go. And it said, okay, here's where you can head today. We talk. We can talk about what they're doing with family and, you know, the birth rate and all the stuff about the family unit and then also homeownership with Blackrock and every, you know, like all these things where it's just it's becoming harder. So, so many people like I saw and I didn't fact check it, but I saw a video of a, of a mom, of a seven year old who apparently put her daughter up for adoption so that she could travel the world with her boyfriend. I'm like, is this whole internet thing? And she's excited and like. And she's getting praised for her chasing her, you know, finding herself and being true to herself. And there's a seven year old who's like, what the fuck just happened? Tyler Well, see, and that goes to my point about where they want to talk about tolerance. Tolerance for what you want to do. But you miss the people you're stepping on and like that. Like that's one of my biggest problems. And I'll tell you, my dad had me at forty two. So my dad's on the older side of parents usually. And there were some negatives, of course. but there's some blessings that I've had because my dad's very old school, most men around my age, like, listen, I walk on the street side of the sidewalk. When I'm with the woman, I open her door, I open the car door. I, you know, there's certain things like that. And, dad, if you're watching, I'll back you on this one. he orders for his woman. He orders her meal like I am, like, listen, sir, what do you want? But it's a generational difference. I'm like, I don't feel the need to do that. Like order food. What the fuck do you want? Uh, but he, like, this is. I love my dad. I'm very close with him. And I am very thankful for a lot of very good traits that I have from him. We're like the the the masculinity comes from him. And like, that is like most today and most, most men. Like when people say chivalry is dead. Yeah. For most bitches it is because you're fucking cowards. Like, you know what I'm okay fucking paying every bill. I'm okay paying the rent. I'm okay fucking paying for every expense she needs. If she's going to be a mother to my child, she's going to fucking take care of the house. She's gonna cook when I fucking get home. Like, there's, like, people are gonna get mad, like, oh, well that's stereotyping. No. Like we're like, physically we are built differently. We're like, built to do these things and like, that's part of what the system has tried to attack and tried to attack the core of the home. And mothers and fathers serve different roles. I cannot teach something a mother can teach. And that's quite literally biology. I have something that she doesn't have and she has something I don't have. Hector Do you think we'll get to a place where we can stop pretending like that. Like there was a post on X where I saw, you know, all of a sudden I can tell the race of a of an individual based on their x rays. And it's like doctors don't know how it can do it. And it's like, no, doctors don't want to talk about why. they can do it. But every doctor knows that. there's differences between people. We're just pretending that that's not the case. Tyler I mean, it's it's genetics. I mean. science can be used for good or bad. AI can be used for good or bad. and AI can be used to be more efficient. Or it can be used to be lazy and stupid. And you can you can look at AI and say, AI, go do this. So I'm an attorney, as you know. It's about like, oh, AI is going to replace you. I'm like, listen, I have a skill set that AI cannot compete with, and I'm very comfortable with that. I don't care how like, refined your AI model can be. law is an art, and it's not a science. And this is the reason why you present it to a jury of twelve. You have to be the best argument wins. And I use this example every single time when any of my clients want to talk about, well, but I have a slam dunk case. You know what O.J. Simpson's wife thought? her family, and, Ron Goldman, they thought they had a slam dunk case, and he got found not guilty. Do you want to know why It's not a science. It's not black and white. It's who presents the better case. And on the criminal side of it, which I don't actually do, the prosecutor has a burden to carry that burden beyond a reasonable doubt. And if the defense attorney can create a reasonable doubt, if the glove don't say it, you must acquit. for whatever reason, create enough reasonable doubt. He got slammed on the fucking civil trial. He's he's dead now. But he owed a shit ton of money on a civil trial. but this is, what I loved. I love and hate. I'll actually tell you, because when you're on the losing side of. I think I'm right. we cannot lose this case and we lose it. It is from a woman's mental health, from a mens mental health standpoint. Uh, John Mansoor, my mentor, helped me deal with this a lot because I used to take shit personal. I was like, fuck, I lost. It was a defeating feeling. And after voicing frustration with him one on one, he pulled me aside and was like, listen, you know, what you can do is you can prepare. You can prepare. Do everything you can do to prepare. Put on the show. And then at the end of the day, someone's going to win and someone's going to lose. And like my grandma used to tell me that in much more simpler terms, like, you know, if I lost a soccer game or didn't do good on a test. Like, oh, grandma, my dad's mom. Oh, you know, there's always a winner and a loser is what she would tell me. And, like, that's to me. That's bullshit. That's Participation. Trophy shit. but the way, like, he explained it to me while being in the law because I'm so competitive. It is so frustrating. There's no way to get over the frustration. But there is a way to get over the sorrow and depression around it. Because, listen, if you're not mad, you lost your fucking bitch like you didn't care about it. Like you cannot sit there and take a loss in the face and be like, I'm happy about this loss. Like, if you accept that you should have substituted out, you shouldn't have been in this case, like I my mom, I remember early before like going into law school, I remember her making a comment, something along the lines of Tyler is the type of person who, whether you're innocent or guilty, he will talk to you and he'll defend you. It doesn't mean you right or wrong, but He will do what he has to do. I don't know if it's a fucking shot at my moral compass, but like, as attorneys, you have an obligation to present your client's case. You can know they killed the motherfucker, and it's not your job to tell the jury. Yeah, the body's over here. Earth. It's the prosecution's job to show they killed them. This is how they killed them. And there's no doubt they killed them. My job is like, well, shit. Her lover might have killed her and not her husband. And so, like, it's. And people are telling me that's fucked up. That's morally wrong. But this is a system we live in, and I play a part in it. I've sworn into a role in it, personally, I don't see it as morally wrong. The car owner, Robert Kardashian and Johnnie Cochran, they did their job. They weren't monsters. They weren't terrible people. They had wives, kids, you know, the prosecutor didn't do their job. Like, that's the way I see it on those. Hector It's a I mean, it comes down to responsibility, right? It's like I think that's what this, this conversation seems to be coming about is like, what is your responsibility to. Two, and it seems like people have lost. Like, that's why I'd be curious what your perspective is, but that's at least for me. It's so easy when I search for purpose You know, if things get hard or fucking, why am I doing this? Like, for me, it's easy. I told you today. Like, I get kicked in the face this morning by my six year old, and it's like, as much as it in the moment. I was like, geez, I just want to go to sleep. It's like. And also in my breathwork session today, it was like, what are you grateful for? And it was like, that was the thing that popped into my head. And so it gives me purpose. Tyler To me, kids are the greatest purpose. I mean, I don't and I have people close to my life. Hector I know you're you're a great uncle. Tyler I have, uh, now four nephews and a niece. I want to have kids. there's no doubt about that. Uh, I mean, like, to me, that is the greatest purpose. Like that's the greatest legacy to leave me. And I know, and I respect people. Lots of very good friends who are like, I don't want kids. That's not my style. I have a great mom and dad. I want to carry it on. Hector what do you think is important for a guy who is looking for promise? Like, especially for someone like you who's who's high achieving, you know, down that this path and all of a sudden they look up and it's like. Tyler You know, it's a good question. It's difficult. it's a struggle for me because, uh, I'll tell you, there's a lot of women who are gonna be shallow, gonna chase money, gonna, Abuse and listen. I won't get into my own personal situations, but you know, it doesn't change who I am. Like I said, I still walk on the fucking car side of the sidewalk. I still will open your door. I'll still text you. Good morning beautiful. Good night sweetheart. Like, that's just like. That's just how I am. Like, It doesn't harden me. I am who I am. You can love me or you can hate me. Go fuck yourself either way. Anyone who's known me, I've been the same way my whole life. For better or for worse. Sometimes it's worse. the people who are in my life love me because of that. And they help me because of that. but I you know, that toxic masculinity like it? No, it's just being a fucking man. it's like we get attacked for it. It's like, no, like I'm supposed to be in control. there's some times where, like, well, you shouldn't have said that or you shouldn't have done that or. Well, that was aggressive. I'm like, no, it's being a man and stepping into the role of the man. And like it's the the media society, you know, it is, is, uh. What is it? Hector Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. Weak men create hard times. Tyler Exactly. And so, I mean, we're the weak men are being created. Hector I think we are. We have the opportunity to change it, though. Like guys like you and me who are who are a little, you know, we are we're seasoned because I think that millennial guys have this really unique opportunity to come in and and like, shift the world because we came in on a post-feminist era and it's like and it's like great women. And I've talked about this on the show, like women, they needed to do what they needed to do. Fantastic. Now it's time for guys to step up and take responsibility and do what we need to do. Tyler And you know, it's funny because I come off as sometimes whatever misogynistic, whatever other word they want to use. I'm the only boy. I'm the youngest. I'm the only boy I got fucking labeled as fucking gay, metrosexual, whatever the other word they wanted to use. Listen, I'm comfortable with my sexuality. I know what I want. I personally think it's a genetic issue. You don't wake up and decide to suck a dick because it's what I think. And, like, it's like, that's not a preference. You don't say, oh, you know what? Today I want to suck a dick. Like, I think there's a genetic like inside. Either you do or you don't. And that's just. It's my own home belief. Hector One of the things that came up was this concept of toxic masculinity. And I think that masculinity is sort of a throw the baby out with the bathwater thing, where the the concept of. Tyler Toxic masculinity. Hector Is this. Yeah, I like. Tyler It. Hector To be a Streetcar Named Desire sort of thing. I don't know if you read that in high school. It's this classic, you know, play set in the nineteen fifties or something. And there's this moment where it's like this guy is professing he's outside and he's yelling, Stella! Right. That's like the the famous line, but essentially he's a wife beater. He's abusive. He's and and. Tyler I condone that at all parts. Hector That's just so let's just throw that out. And so I think like what people think of toxic masculinity, that's where it started. But then it expanded to so much more things that maybe aren't actually that toxic. Tyler It's expanded to being in control and being a man. there are roles of men does, there's roles a woman should know. There's like, you are the man in the relationship. Step up and have some fucking balls. there are certain situations. Well, when I'm with a woman, she she should never have to talk to someone about the issue she's having. I'm in because I don't want to. Number one. I don't want to put her in the car. And number two, that's not her role to have. Like, there's. You're the man. Step in and handle the problem was what I see. I get accused of being, you know, I misogynistic whatever word you want to use because of how society portrays it now. No, that is just. Speaker 4 Being actually being true man. It's it's personal way. I see, there's I told you, I in the youngest child, I'm the only boy. So I grew up with older sisters. Tyler I am truthfully probably much more feminine than the most men. And much more in touch with my feminine side. I get pedicures weekly every couple of weeks. There's shit like that that doesn't bother me. But there's also a time where, like, listen, when me and my woman are out in public. I'm going to protect you. I'm going to provide for you physically, financially and emotionally. Like that is that is what I see my role as. And any woman I dated, I said, listen, I will provide for you financially. I will support you emotionally and I will support you physically. Like come to me with your issue There's no reason to bring it out of the home. Come to me first. Like, if we can't handle it, then we go get help somewhere else. But like, I see it as a role of the quote unquote provider. The male provider, I see myself as a male provider. that's who I am. That's what I was a beat. Like, that's that's why I'm on this earth. Uh, and that might be misogynistic. That might be. Oh, you think you have money? You think you're the man? No. But that's fucking the purpose of me being on Earth. Hector growing up. I came up thinking, okay, you know, independent women. Tyler Right. Hector Remember that song? I'm like, whatever, right? I thought it was like, okay, we're going to like, I was I wasn't the opposite of mine, where I. Tyler Was. Hector Like, okay, you want to be fifty over fifty? We'll do fifty over fifty. Like, if that's what you want to do, if you want to go and you want to be a, you know, you want to have a career and like, okay, fine, no, no worries. Like I will actually subject myself to my ambition of my career. I'll subject to what I wanted to do so that you can also have this place here, not Realizing that. Okay. Yeah. That happens. Yeah. Okay. Whatever you can do. Whatever society says that doesn't change the biology of what like was there, like, that's what my ex said that she wanted. And also I got blamed for not providing it enough in the relationship. So it's like this weird push and pull where women, they say they want something. And then when you look at what actually feeds and and nurtures that made them insane, that. and you're. Tyler Speaking more from a position of experience and tribulation. I'm speaking for more like, let's say I am I'm happy for my wife to make more than me. Speaker 5 And I caught you side. No, I will support you. I will push you, I will encourage you. I concur with what I do and what I like. What you make. You're a boss ass bitch. Just the way I see it. And like that doesn't emasculate me. It doesn't embarrass me. I'm like. I'm very happy and comfortable with what I make. If. If the woman I'm with is making more than me, she is a fucking goddamn amazing woman. And I will put her on the pedestal. She's not a fucking housewife. She's a goddamn fucking godsend. there's some men who are like, oh, she can't make more than me. there's going to be give and take. Because ultimately, at the end of the day, even if she is making more than me, by. Tyler Biological definition, there's going to be a time when she's out of work And she's not making money. And I personally would prefer to afford her as much time as possible with our baby to nurture and care and fill that fall under relationship with the baby. Money should not. be the reason why you do not do what you want. What you a child like. This is bullshit. I mean, there's a lot of other countries who give much more maternity leave, paternity leave in America. I'm not going to vouch and say America should do that. Speaker 6 But you should do that if you personally care about it. Well, then fine. Go off work. Don't be paid like That's my own position. Don't be paying. Like, do you want to know What's more valuable than money? Is the bond you build with your child Hector this has been great, Tyler. Just a great conversation. If people want to get more of you, follow up with you, or just in tune with what you're up to, where's the best place? Tyler Uh, well, my Instagram is better called Vance. So on Instagram, I'd better call Vance. feel free to add me. DM me. It's butler of any conversation you want. I'll help you with. If I cannot help you, I will put you in touch with the person who can help you like That's what I pride myself in. I don't play to be the master. But I know what I know and I know what I don't know. And if I don't know something you need help with, I will put you in touch with someone who can help you. And I'm not going to bullshit you. I'm not gonna blow smoke up your ass. but we will get you taken care of. Hector When they call. Uh, the socials up in the show notes as well. And my last question that I give every guest seller is, in your opinion, what is the definition of modern masculinity? Tyler Masculinity can be so very like again, I'll tell you, opening the door, there's so many men are like, walking on the car side of the sidewalk and like, I, I was going to stand up and like. And sometimes I will like not necessarily grow but move the woman to the grass side of it. Move over here please. But because it's a natural. So there's one other thing. I'll get into it. It's okay. It's one other thing. Because when I see the car, I'm gonna throw you this way. I'm gonna get hit by the car. The other thing is, when we sleep anywhere, in any room, I sleep on the door side of the bed. Because if someone comes in the door, like, I normally expect the intruder to come to the door. I want to be able to throw you this way and go, like to be able to protect you and be able to stand between you and the intruder. Like, it's not. I always sleep on the right side or I always sleep on the left side. No, I sleep on the door side because it's a protector sense. I even do it by dark shadows protected. but that's the way I was. I was born, I was trained. I don't know what else to tell you. but I you know, that toxic masculinity like it? No, it's just being a fucking man. it's like we get attacked for it. It's like, no, like I'm supposed to be in control. there's some times where, like, well, you shouldn't have said that or you shouldn't have done that or. Well, that was aggressive. I'm like, no, it's being a man and stepping into the role of the man.