Build a Life You Do Not Need to Escape with Jason Bronstad

Hector [00:00:00] Fellas, what's going on? I hope this episode finds you well, and I hope this episode leaves you better than when it found you. This episode is with Jason Bronstad, and he is a, an executive at Malt Organics. They are a, a milk company, and, uh, when you meet this guy, he is the... I don't know. He's like the, the Jason of all trades, if you will.

Hector I mean, he's someone who really, and we talk about it, who seems like he has it all together: the family, the career, the life, the fitness. I mean,. he really is someone who has walked the path and been a model for what I think a lot of the guys who are listening to this show want to create for their lives.

Speaker And so, the great thing is, is that he's one of the most humble and genuine and helpful and supportive guys I've, I've ever met. And so I'm excited to bring, someone who isn't always out in front of the camera and out in front of the stage, , to you guys because he is genuinely, I think, one of the, most valuable people that I could ever have on this show.

Hector So in any case, enough of me. Let's get into today's episode with Jason [00:01:00] Bronstad

Hector Jason, welcome to the Modern Masculinity Podcast. It is a honor and privilege to have you here.

Jason Hector, I appreciate the time, and I look forward to connecting and just going deep. Let's go for it.

Hector I always ask our guests to take us into their world, right? we used to talk about the, the cross that, men carry or the responsibilities, the burden, or whatever it is, right?

Hector Pick your sort of analogy. But I think, a better way is just, asking what's real for you, as a man or a father or a business leader. what sort of muck, if you will, do you still find yourself, getting through?

Jason Oh, man. Do we have a couple days to go through this? 'Cause it might take a minute.

Jason it's interesting as you say the cross. to me, i- in my faith, there's one man that carried the cross, and he did it for us. I do feel that, at times, as men, we have a yoke around us, right? We're the oxen pulling the family forward, and be that to lead our family financially and provide, to lead them by [00:02:00] example in how we choose to nourish our bodies, how we choose to exercise, to teach and guide our children on how to love.

Jason I want my children to witness the over-the-top love that I have for my wife, and I want them to know that's what true love is. and, on that financial burden, it goes back to on the professional front, I've got a team to lead, right? I've got a responsibility not only to the, the organization that I've had the honor of building but to the investors that I work for.

Jason So at any given time, there's a lot going on in this world, and it's trying to find the balance that allows me to show up as the best version of myself in each one of those situations.

Hector Yeah, I think one of the reoccurring themes we've talked about on the show is this need for guys today to sort of put it all together, and I don't think that men of previous generations had it any easier or harder.

Hector I mean, w- that's not necessarily the argument. But it's, it's that I think

[00:03:00] this is the first time where men are, I don't wanna say forced 'cause that's not the right word, but the expectations, even self-imposed, are that we have it all together, that we have the family life, that we have the business and career, that we're in shape.

Hector A lot-- I look at a lot of,guys or, or mentors or role models of people from previous, in, of a previous generation, and they usually did one of those really well. They were great at business, overweight, smoked a ton of cigarettes, right? There's like the classic trope, right? Or really, really successful, terrible home life, or pick your one, right?

Hector It's almost that like, I think in services they have that old adage of, right, it's like fast, cheap, and good, or something like that. Like, you can get two, but not three. And I feel like guys are in this transition where, m- I think we can have all, have all of it, but b- actually practically putting it together and th- and then doing it on a day in and day out basis I just think is not something...

Hector There hasn't been as many models of that or examples to look at to go, "Here's how they did it." Or even in the early stages, it's like [00:04:00] I think we're learning that how and what worked for that guy doesn't always work for us, right? The, there's no one thing fits for all and we're sort of in this, in this mixing, melding sort of phase where we're trying to figure out what is actually right for us.

Jason That was so beautifully articulated, and I couldn't agree more that it felt like there were always trade-offs with prior generations, and even older people in our generation. And what I've been really working hard on the last seven years now is to try to find how do I balance? How do I show up in any given situation as the best version of me?

Jason And it's always so interesting 'cause you start having conversations, and to me, there's a recurring theme that always comes back around. You gotta do the inner work to be able to show up [00:05:00] as the best version of who you wanna be. And I was chatting with someone the other day and I said, "The more you're actually able to love yourself, the more lovable you actually are."

Jason Because as men, especially those of us that were raised in the '80s and '90s, we were taught to compress, suppress, and repress all of our emotions. Real men don't cry. Tough it out. If you think that hurts, I'll ma- I'll show you what hurts. that kind of mentality of, like, you have to be the toughest human in existence to be a man And we don't.

Jason But we have to be authentically who we are inside, and we've gotta find a way to walk into each one of these environments as a husband, as a partner, as a father, as a leader with an open heart. But we can't do that if we are compressing, suppressing, and repressing everything that's happening to us.

[00:06:00] 'Cause I know what I did to deal with that.

Jason I ate a lot, I drank a lot, didn't exercise, because I was just burying those emotions. Until I actually learned how to start to process the emotions, I found a healthy outlet for my stress, was I actually able to say, "I actually... I like who I am." I like who I'm showing up as. I like this version of me that I'm creating, and it's always a, a present tense verb.

Jason Like, I am creating who I wanna be because I'm never gonna stop pursuing being a better version of me

Hector Yeah, I'm glad you g- brought up that sort of active,it's an active process. There was a quote that was on my freshman, freshman shirt. They give it to you when you go to freshman orientation in college, and it said something to the effect of, "Life is not about, life is not about something.

Hector It's something about life is about [00:07:00] discovering yourself." And I was like, "Oh, that's so great," because for, for all of my life, I was trying to be what other people wanted me to be, whether it was teachers or parents or whomever, right? Society. And again, I think a lot of that is self-imposed, and I'm looking back on it and it's like no one actually made me do that, any of that stuff.

Hector It was just there was this, this sort of air of expectations that I'd just go, "Well, let me just jump into that stream," and then, I find myself there 20 years later still going around, the lazy river. And it's like kind of wondering like why am I not fulfilled or happy? And it's like, oh, and the, and I, I think that quote is incomplete 'cause the discovering part was right and it was like, oh yeah, the, I need to go and figure out who this o- is.

Hector but I got into the trap of doing exactly what you sort, not to do which is I thought like, "Oh, this is me and I've found me and I'm sort of done." And then I realized that like that, that couldn't be further from the truth because the, the 2013 me is totally different from the 2023 which is, vastly different from 2026

[00:08:00] me,

Hector and to look at those peop- And so I w- I just, I think it's important for guys to g- to realize that that process, it's like a never-ending process. I, I, I think I grew up thinking that there's gonna be this time and place where I'm gonna be l- in the happily ever after stage, until, and I'm realizing that like happily ever after is like you, you create that every morning and then you go to bed and then, you do it again the next morning.

Jason it's, as you say that, what I've witnessed You work, work, work until you retire, then you go do all this stuff. For generations, that was my belief, is that was what you did, is you worked for 40 years and then you lived life after that. Now, is that really how we're supposed to live life? I don't think so anymore.

Jason I think that you have to live life in the present, still saving and planning for the future, but the one thing that my wife and I have been far more

[00:09:00] intentional with over the last three years especially, is experiencing life as we're living it, not saying, "Oh, we're gonna do that someday." We try to find ways to make that someday happen this year or next year, so much so that we started doing these annual, planning meetings...

Jason God, we started doing that in... Six years ago, where we sat down and said, "Okay, what do we wanna do as a couple this year? What do we wanna do as a family this year? What trips do we wanna take? What's important to us?" And those continue to evolve, and they bring up real conversations about, how do we wanna connect?

Jason What do we want our kids to experience? What type of travel is important? So instead of waiting till we retire or saying, "Hey, I'm gonna retire early. I'm gonna work so hard that I'm gonna retire at 55 instead of 65," what we're trying to do is live life in the present and say, "What experiences are we

[00:10:00] gonna budget for this year?

Jason How are we gonna save for the future and still be able to enjoy life in retirement, but also live in the present?" 'Cause I've seen people that have planned to live life once they retire, and then there's medical challenges, financial challenges, something drastic happens. All of a sudden, everything that you saved for isn't there

Hector Yeah, I saw something recently.

Hector It was a post or, I don't know, a meme or... And it, it said something to the effect that millennial parents are, like, over-the-top memory makers, And it, it had its own justification, but when I look at it, I'm like, "Oh yeah, I think right when we were coming of age..." I mean, I, I graduated into the Great Recession, right?

Hector I graduated in 2009 when, 50-year-old people were applying for the first time were applying for entry-level jobs, and it was this, this whole sort of chaos. And there was this, this moment where, you know, as a 17, 18-year-old kid, I go, "This, this 65-year-old person, they [00:11:00] were working the plan, and all of a sudden they're at the end of their road, and we're at the same spot."

Hector And so I'm like, "Man, this can't... We can't wait for that because who knows if we're ever gonna get there." And but then that, that creates this, this sort of, it fucks everything up because the blueprint for how they did it before can't be the same blueprint. You can't, that, that work yourself, into misery for five days and then drown yourself, in, in, in drunken stupor for two days, repeat.

Hector that's... You extrapolate that, that's the, the two-week vacation, once a year, right? The, I, like, all of that sort of stuff plays itself out. And so we, if we take that model into today's sort of, into what our own ideals and expectations are, I think there's a mismatch. And then now that's where we're in the middle of trying to figure out, okay, how do we actually do...

Hector I don't know if it's do both, but how do we create memories while we're in the process of building towards whatever that vision is? [00:12:00]

Jason Man, and I, I've got almost a decade on you, if not more. I, I graduated high school in the late '90s, and I was... So as a Gen X-er, I was deep into the I'm gonna follow the Boomer plan, right?

Jason It looked right, and I think I've been influenced by millennials on witnessing. It's like, oh wait, it doesn't have to be one way or the other. We are the authors of our journey, and when we have the opportunity to write a new chapter, we don't have to go look back at a stale playbook to do that. We get to write what we want for our future, what we need, because what we need this year is different than what we needed two years ago.

Jason And as long as we're honest with ourselves and we actually have the real conversations to say, "This is what's important to me in this season," then we can actually move forward with intentionality

Hector I think that's, [00:13:00] that was, the first 50 episodes, were figuring out really what is masculinity.

Hector And I sort of threw my hands up at the end because it was like, fuck, no one has an answer." Everyone's answer at the end was like, "It's whatever you say it was." and I was a little upset with that at, in the moment because I, to catch you up personally, we had chatted in the early stages of my relationship and marriage and at the end as it was falling apart, one of the, the key moments for the show and in my life was, my ex said, we're at the top of the stairs and we're having a fight, and she goes sh- "I just don't think you're man enough for me," or, "I don't think you're man enough to be with me."

Hector And I, I really, I think you sort of knowing the person I am, I, I really tried to answer that question. I wanted the answer. I said, "Well, what does that mean?" And she, she didn't have an ar- an answer she can articulate. But even still there was a feeling there was, and there was something that I was creating that, that was leading to this, result.

Hector And so that was the r- the beginning of the show was like, okay, well if I don't know what it is, clearly, what is it? And I did 50 interviews with all the guys that I thought had the answers, and everyone was like, "Well, it's whatever they want it to be." I'm like, fuck." Like, [00:14:00] with that, and I thought think that's such a beautiful sort of realization because the next sort of, 100 episodes essentially have been, okay, if that is the case, how do we do that?

Hector if our, if masculinity is for us to define ourselves, and, and within some st- there's still some constraints there. Okay, how do we do that? It's not a one size fits all sort of thing, and so we've tried to expose and share all the different ways, whether it's breathwork or, tapping or, like, all these different sort of, modalities that end up getting to, that e- ends up becoming a lot of the work.

Hector what I've learned is that, again, to your point, it's different and we have to be willing to decide what it is that is us, and that takes a lot of courage, especially when our family and society and everybody else is saying that it looks a certain way when our version of that may actually, be a little different.

Jason There's something you just said there, when society looks at us, and that's where I think we get into trouble in such a comparison culture that it's, well, what do other people think? [00:15:00] I don't care what other people think anymore. I lived my life for so long trying to impress other people, but never looking inside going, "What is this heart?

Jason What do I actually need? What do I need? What does my wife need? What does my, what do my children need?" I'm blessed with two amazing kids. My daughter will be 14 in December. My son just turned 10 And as they continue to get older, their needs change a lot. From the need to connect, from the need to learn, how I communicate, I mean, all of that's an ongoing, changing thing, and I will peek out into society and say, "Okay, any tips, any advice?"

Jason But what, keeps coming back to me is a couple of things that are real. One is you need a third space, right? You've got your home, you got work. What's your regular third space that you feel safe? And feel safe is [00:16:00] a subjective phrase, 'cause my third space is jujitsu, where it's not safe. It's a lot of fun, and I do hard things, but that's my third space.

Jason I've gone through seasons where Lifetime Fitness, the gym, was my third space. And you have to, as a man, have a third space so you have an outlet, whatever that is for you. Generally, it probably needs to be something physical or intellectual, something that gets you out of your day-to-day, what you normally do.

Jason Another dynamic is you have to have community. You've gotta have people, be it in your third space or a, a group of humans that you trust. I'm a part of a band, and we had breakfast this morning, and we talk about life. A, not a musical band.

Hector Just, just to cl- yeah, I was just gonna clarify for the-

Jason Yeah.

Hector Yeah, great.

Jason Yeah, yeah.

Hector A small, a small group of guys who get together, yeah.

Jason Exactly, a small group of guys who get together. We try to get together every three weeks or so for [00:17:00] breakfast, and we talk about the hard stuff. "Hey, this is where, w- what's your rose and what's your thorn? what's going beautiful in your life, and what's an absolute pain in the ass?

Jason And where do you need help? How can we support you? What..." And sometimes it's just the act of naming it that takes that pressure off of you. When you can name something that has control over you, all of a sudden it has less control over you, and that's a beautiful dynamic. And I would suggest that for me growing up, that was what I was compressing, suppressing, and repressing, so I didn't have the ability to hold space for my wife, for my kids, for others, for myself.

Jason I wasn't willing to be vulnerable, because I didn't think I could. And I've found this space, this small group, I've found jujitsu, and it's changed, those two things alone have changed the way I interact with my family In a beautiful way[00:18:00]

Hector Yeah, it's, the, the space is so important. I, I recently just went through a... I moved from Orange County back up to LA where, my family is from, and that's been great in all sorts of ways, and support, and close to the grandparents, and rent's a third. I mean, all, all, all these great things. But one of the things that I didn't have was those spaces, though, and, because I had spent, so many years in a space and cultivated those, those communities very intentionally, which I think for guys like you and I who are, I don't know if particular is the right word, but, like, specific, but maybe just intentional with the people that we're surrounding ourselves with, where some- at least for me, it took time to cultivate those spaces, and maybe because I wasn't doing it as intentionally or actively.

Hector But I come up to LA, and I went to go work out at a gym the other day, and it's like, a guy was like, so where do you normally work out?" And I was like, I just answered the question, but it made me like, I was like, "I don't have anywhere right now." But it was a, a bigger realization that, like, no, I don't have those spaces because I had a, a great jujitsu gym where, [00:19:00] knew all the guys, and it was a great camaraderie, and there was a cult- it was like...

Hector So, so now that I'm missing those, it's, it's much more apparent, right? And I think that if, it's hard to see it if you don't have that,that contrast, right? So for guys who aren't, who are working remote, who maybe live in a small town or whatever their circumstances might be, if you're not actively surrounding yourself or putting yourself in those places, it can be hard to see what you're missing, right?

Hector Or it can be hard to see what it feels like on the other side of that. So I think that's a really good point.

Jason And I just want to honor you because that's hard to do. I mean, I moved a ton between 26 and 39. I moved like five times, and I never established a true community in any of those. I've been blessed to be in Austin for 10 years now, but it took me about four years of being here before I actually started to find community or realize I needed that community because it was two spaces for me.

Jason It was home and work for [00:20:00] 16, 17, 18 years of my professional career, and that was... That's a trap that I think young men fall into. It's like, if I'm not at work, I need to be at home, and I'm gonna say it cleanly and plainly, you need to have a third space for just you so you can show up as the best in those other two environments

Hector Yeah, I'm curious.

Hector One of the things, if someone were to look from the outside, they-- there's probably so many guys, and maybe I'm just, maybe I'm the, the exception where it goes, "Jason has it all put together. He's got it all, everything must work flawlessly," and it's just like everything goes perfectly for Jason, I'm sure.

Hector what is, what does the reality of that look like and, how does that actually show up? Or like what are the ebbs and flows, of having that, I'd imagine that the, the majority, right, the 80% probably is put together, but what does that actual navigating look like so that you can have that sort of, a- batting average, if you will?[00:21:00]

Jason Well, let's talk about some real stuff right now. I mean, I went through a dynamic just five weeks ago where the jujitsu gym that I've trained at my entire career in six days was shut down. So my third space that I was super comfortable in, I knew all my people, it's gone. Almost overnight. I was getting texts on July 1st, and I, "Hey, the gym's closed."

Jason Six days later, the email comes out, "Yeah, we're officially shutting down." So that's a real struggle right now is now I have to go put myself out there again and go find a third space that my son, who trains with me, and I are comfortable in. And I've been putting that off, right? I've been, I've been traveling.

Jason I've had work. I was out of town this last week, and I'm leaving next week. I'm, I'll wait till I'm back. Because it's uncomfortable Go start over? Man, I had pecked my way up the order. Like, I was one of the [00:22:00] leaders at this old gym. back in June, my wife got rear-ended. my kids were in the car, and fortunately, they're fine.

Jason They're safe. it's two months later, and we're working through what has to be the most fraudulent industry in the world of insurance, trying to get resolution and getting the car back. So there's always going to be struggles in your life, be it with your third space, be it with your family, be it professionally.

Jason I mean, there's stuff going on at work, too. So the struggles don't ever stop. It's how you choose to show up and respond to them. And, there was a time in my life where any one of these little things would have wrecked me. It's like, "Oh, no, I, I've got to take on the burden of this entire insurance dynamic so my wife doesn't have to deal with it," 'cause that was the story in my head is I, as the provider, had to take care of this.

Jason And the reality is, no, I need to find a way to be fully present and be a

[00:23:00] partner to my wife in this journey to figure this out and to acknowledge that she's carrying this burden, too, and it's not 100% mine to fix. But I do need to be able to hold space and witness her in this process. When I had to tell my son...

Jason Actually, my wife had to do it. When my wife told my son that the gym was closed, he was devastated. He was about to get another stripe on his belt. He's been putting in his dues. And more and more, instead of just trying to rush in and fix and solve, 'cause I'm a fixer, that's what I do, I've had to sit back and be more present and to hold space and to let the sadness come through, be it for me, be it for my wife, be it for my son.

Jason And instead of just trying to solve and fix, it's going, "Okay, this is life. I'm going to continue forward, and we're gonna find a resolution." So while the outside may look like, "Hey, Jason's [00:24:00] got it all smooth and going on," that's not true. No one has it smooth and easy. But I think more than anything, what I'm learning, again, actively learning, is, is how you choose to be present through the good times and the bad that allows you to, instead of having massive ups and downs, you just keep that steady line and don't let the highs get too high and the lows get too low because that's the rebound.

Jason I mean, if you're having a, just a phenomenal month, it's like, man, nothing in the world's going wrong and you're riding at the top of that wave When something bad happens, it feels like it hits so much harder. Instead of just trying to moderate to the middle, like I'm gonna keep living life and there's gonna be good things that happen, and there's gonna be challenging things that happen, and I'm going to embrace and let it in, but not let it completely take me off track

Hector Yeah, I've been, really fortunate to [00:25:00] get into-- be able to, like, experience baseball with my son.

Hector He has just become the biggest Dodgers fan, and he's just-- I mean, he, he loves it more than... it's been really cool to, to experience. and as I'm sort of re-engaging that alongside him, I, I'm trying to pull out, yes, the technique and the, the ways that the, the players are, are playing, but also, looking at how they approach the game and their mindset and some of those things that they say.

Hector And, and two of the people that come to mind, and, and the players don't really matter, it's, but two, first baseman for the Dodgers, Adrian Gonzalez, who's a former player, and Freddie Freeman, who's the current one. And one of the things that's just interesting about them is that they're, they sort of, model this not too high, not too low sort of mentality, where they could be, on a hot streak and things are going incredibly well, and they're still, they're calm and collected and they're centered, and things could be going terribly and they could be going, in a terrible, down streak, and it's the same.

Hector The, their, their response, their preparation, their mentality is still the same. And I think it's so much of that, it's the response [00:26:00] to the results, right? How do you, how do you deal with success, right? Do you get fat and happy, and then all of a sudden, then-- or do, do you stay consistent?

Hector And, and that's been the game for me, is how quickly can you get back on that, proverbial horse? and, can you shorten the time or shorten the cycle through which you can, sort of rebound and keep going?

Jason Yeah, I was, talking-- I was on a, an adventure trip over the last couple days.

Jason I went with three other guys. We went to Alberta, Canada, and we did hard things. We went hiking, we went camping, we went rafting. And one of them was sharing stories about their son, who's a, a high school golfer. And just to follow on what you were sharing there, I think it was Tiger Woods who was never worried about the la- last shot, never worried about the next shot.

Jason It's where is he present today? it's just water off a back, almost mechanical. It's like, "Okay, I just need to be present in this moment. I need to hit this shot," and not let the anxiety of the last shot or, "I've got to go match that next shot because the person I'm playing against shot so [00:27:00] well."

Jason same with baseball. I mean, an all-time Hall of Famer hits three out of 10 hits, right? 300 batting average is Hall of Fame. Amazing. And think about that. There are seven out of 10 that you're striking out, grounding out, popping out, and you're still Hall of Fame. So think about that mentality. It's like, wow, it's not even a 50/50 game to be an all-star.

Hector it's like, it's like jujitsu in the fact that at least early on, you get humbled much more than you, You're on the, on the losing end much more frequently than you're on the, the winning end. I don't even know what those percentages were for me at the, beginning.

Hector I didn't count,

Jason I- Zero percent. Yeah, zero. I won zero percent of the time as a white belt. That's where I was.

Hector Exactly. I'd come home and I'd tell my daughter, "I didn't tap today," That was my, that was my winning at the beginning. what are some of your habits or methods or techniques, rituals even, that sort of bring you back to center, that keep you sort of grounded whilst, [00:28:00] insurance and, shutdowns and all this sort of stuff?

Jason Yeah. Time and nature, continues to be what gives me the most energy, and especially when it's, I- mountains, water, fire, things outside that... I love fire and I love moving water, and I love both of those because they're ever changing. I could sit there and watch a fire in the backyard in the fire pit for hours, and it never changes.

Jason Or it always changes. It's never the same. Sorry. and it, allows me to almost meditate into that. Same with, I was sitting by a, a water or a, a creek coming out of a mountain just Satur- or Sunday. After we had hiked in, five miles or four miles in, we were maybe a mile coming back, and we'd been hiking for a while, some big elevation gain.

Jason But just sat there next to that water and just watched it flow and, and process through the earth. to me, that gives me so much [00:29:00] energy in life. on a practical basis at home, I, I love sitting in my infrared sauna. I love cold plunging. for me on a regular basis, if you look over the last, year, I train jujitsu three to four times a week.

Jason And for me to have a place where I can go release my stress and leave it on the mats and not think about anything else, that's what jujitsu became for me, was that outlet to where I, if I'm stressed, and there are times that my wife would go, "You need to go roll. Like, I see it in you. you need to go roll.

Jason Come back after you've tapped some people out or you get humbled." And both happen all the time. but to have that outlet, and, and it goes back to what I said earlier, to have that third space that you feel safe, you feel comfortable, and you can go leave it all out there. I know guys that do CrossFit, and that's their third space.

Jason a lot of people, it's pickleball. Or what is the new one? Padel. Not for me, [00:30:00] but those are, whatever that third space is, establish a routine around it.

Hector Ooh, like sweating. Yesterday, two days ago, I went and did a-- I tried out this new, kickboxing fitness thing, and it was, it was great. It was not really like, actual kickboxing-oriented. It was more of a just a good, HIIT training. But, like, that was good, right? 'Cause I hadn't done that in a while.

Hector I didn't have a place down here to go work out, and so just going and getting, like, drenched in sweat was helpful. yesterday I, I was not ready to do that again, so I, I went on, like, an hour-long ruck. But I think, like, I threw... We didn't have a, a weighted vest, so I, I got, my son's old baseball bag and threw a kettlebell and, some other weights in there and, walked the, along the canal, and it was just, yeah, that, like, that hour without the phone just sweating and just,n-not punishing your body 'cause it's not really a punishment, and I try not to, like, look at it like this.

Hector But almost like, I don't know. The only [00:31:00] other nine is, like, whipping your body. I have to find some different wording or some different verbiage, but it's Right, like getting it into shape.

Jason No. You're loving your body. Seriously, I mean, at-- You're giving it what it needs. And what I tell people is if-- Where do you want to be in 30 years?

Jason If in 30 years you want to be either, walking your daughter down the aisle or you want to be holding your grandchildren, what do you need to do today to make sure that version of you in 30 years is doing the best possible for you? one of my, one of my good friends is a great author, Jeff Woods, and he's built an AI board, and one of the things he talks about, the m- the chairman of his AI board is, is himself in 30 years So as he's asking his board of directors questions, the loudest voice is who he wants to be in 30 [00:32:00] years, giving him advice today to make decisions to where he can be exactly who he wants to be then

Hector Curious how you're handling the, this sort of AI thing, sure as a business owner, but more as a father 'cause your kids are, are hitting, gonna be hitting,life right when this thing is, I don't know, we're either at a, Terminator 2 or we're at... I don't know what the other s- there isn't a, a good movie otherwise.

Hector But like, how are you handling it as a father and, and sort of guiding your kids into this? At least for me, it seems like a huge unknown with regards to careers and jobs and schooling even.

Jason we made the decision a few years ago to pivot our kids into Acton Academy, which is a, a student-led system where they're given a syllabus, they're given the expectations, and then they are in control of their world.

Jason They can move as fast or as slow as they want. And honestly, year one was a, was a giant [00:33:00] transition year. My daughter had done all of elementary in public schools. My son had done, kindergarten, first, and second in public schools. So for them to transition into a private school in a very different model, first year was hard.

Jason And second year, my daughter, who started Acton in sixth grade, finished that, started doing seventh grade work. She came to us last Thanksgiving and said, "I'm gonna go ahead and finish eighth grade this year as well." "Okay. w- what support do you need to do that?" "Oh, I, I got it. I know what I need to do."

Jason "Okay. We're here for you. If this is your journey, we are here to support you." And it's been a challenge for us as parents who both went through the public school system, my wife, who's a public school educator by trade, to embrace this shift, and it's been beautiful. One of the things my daughter had the opportunity to do over the last six months was [00:34:00] to do two apprenticeships.

Jason She had to do one for seventh grade and one for eighth grade, and a minimum of 40 hours for each apprenticeship where she at, she's 13 years old, is figuring out what does and what doesn't light her up Man, I didn't start realizing that till I was out of college, and even then I was just like, "What's the next title I can chase?"

Jason Not, "What is fulfilling to me?" That's a totally different dynamic. So I know that's not an AI specific question, but it's do e- embracing the unconventional

Hector Well, let me jump in there because I think I, I'd love to just pull on, on a thread that I... I've been realizing that so much of our previous generations and pr- and it was necessary so it's not like a bad thing, but it was defined by how much we can work and how much we can do.

Hector it was like this labor was necessary because it sort of drove the economy and that, And, and I think it, it played its sort of role, but I don't think

[00:35:00] kids are going to be rewarded based on their work, right? Like the t- the traditional sense of labor and how hard can you work is not going to be the barometer by which y- people are, are judged.

Hector And, and I think that was a very easy and basic sort of, s- metric if you will, that we could give to people in a rudimentary fashion. Okay, work harder. What are you going to be when you grow up, right? Like that was the, the standard question you would ask kids, right? And my kids get it a little bit, but less so now, which is interesting, right?

Hector But it used to be the standard, "What are you gonna be when you grow up?" And you had your five, six, standard options, your doctors, your lawyers, your w- engineers, or like you do-

Jason Marine biologists, bankers, CEOs. Yeah, pick it.

Hector Yeah. Don't, don't, oh, you wanna, oh, you wanna be a plumber? Oh, like that sort of oh, like y- it's interesting how that, how if they would've gone into that and how if the kids of, my age would've become plumbers, how well and successful and, whatever.

Hector But that, that concept of what are you going to do when you [00:36:00] grow up, I don't think is as pordant, is as important as what you're saying is like who are you? Like h- who are you first? and then can we figure out like what are you going to do with that?

Jason And I think what I love the most in our current journey is twofold.

Jason One, how they're learning to ask questions. I think that is a skill that will pay off no matter what happens to AI, especially with AI. How good of a question asker are you first? And then the second one you hit on is who are you 'Cause if you can actually do the work inside first to say, "This is who I am," or, "This is who I aspire to be," instead of, "This is who I'm prescribed to be.

Jason Oh, I need to go do this because this expectation was set by my parents, my grandparents, my friends." So the ability to ask questions and to know who you [00:37:00] are, I think is what's going to allow the next generation to define what success looks like in a, Terminator world, AI world, whatever happens. I have a lot of energy and excitement about what I'm witnessing coming with my kids as they continue to age, how different they're engaging in life than I did when I was 13 years old

Hector Yeah.

Hector And I see that it's really interesting kind of being in sort of the AI world and seeing the perspectives from the outside, which I, I totally understand and get, especially from a previous generation. And, and you look at how people treated, machines or how they treated industrialization, or I was reading that there were some, some funny things about cars when, automobiles first came out.

Hector They used to make someone, There was lobbyists who got a, a law passed that said you had to stand in front of your car walking with flags, to alert the, the horses nearby that a car was coming. It's just like these really backwards sort of things that come just from sort of [00:38:00] technology.

Hector so I think there is something to that. and also if you don't, if kids are not, u- I don't know if it's utilizing, understanding how these tools are, are coming about, I really do think it handicaps a kid, five, 10 years down the road when then they're starting to figure out how these things are happening.

Hector When my kid is already, he's ask- he's learning how to ask better questions because the AI gives better answer. He's learning that if he asks a better question, he gets a better answer. there was one time where he was asking Alexa and I, I said that he, like, wasn't happy with the answer, and I was like, "Dude, ask a better question."

Hector And his, like, light bulb went on, and he went back at it. And, and I think that you're right that skill, is going to, is gonna be powerful regardless of how, how things actually look.

Jason So much truth right there.

Hector oh, I'm curious. I, I didn't want to cut you off.

Jason Come on. Bring it.

Hector Well, I'm curious for you, where, what are you looking, what resources, what, whether it's, systems, books, I don't know. You're, you're someone who's, who's I think is constantly [00:39:00] seeking and adding on and improving. So are there any things that you're excited about for yourself, for your kids, for your family that you think, other guys might benefit from hearing about?

Jason I love to read, and I tend to get in the dynamic where I will buy any book that anyone I know recommends. So what do I have? I've got a to-be-read stack that's about 15 books deep. and I still go back, and I gift the same books over and over again. and most of those books are personal growth books because I think that's the space that I have more to, to search through and to find and, and lean into.

Jason there's a book, "Lovable" by Kelly Flanagan, that just rocked my world years ago. He just released a book called "The Road Less Triggered," and the most powerful event that I've done here in 2026 is I went to an event based around that book with my wife. It's the first [00:40:00] time that she and I have joined together to go on a growth journey And wow, we've read the same books and we'll kind of talk about it, but the first time that we've actually embraced growth together really opened my eyes to, oh my goodness, there's so much to do here.

Jason And it allows us to have a common language, on how we approach things. That's, those two books of late by Flanagan have been just epic for me. then there's, "The AI-Driven Leader" by Jeff Woods that I referenced earlier has really helped me to embrace AI a few years ago. So I f- I like to believe that I'm on the f- the leading edge of AI and, and how we're continuing to evaluate using it and understanding the benefits that it brings to us, the freedom that it can create for us.

Jason and the book that I continue to go back to that, I have a... I struggle to finish, I, I one time in my life will read it cover to cover is the Bible. To me,

[00:41:00] there's so many stories in there and lessons that I need to receive, and that's one that I, I, I was talking to a gentleman about this some time ago about how I always get stuck in the Old Testament, and his feedback to me was, "The Old Testament's a great base, and as a Christian, the teachings of following Christ are all in the New Testament.

Jason So what would it look if you were to power through the New Testament to begin with and then go back and reference the Old Testament?" I'm like, "Oh." And that's the, the curiosity and the willingness to be open with other people. If I hadn't been open enough to say, "Man, I'm struggling with this," which is a really hard thing for guys to say.

Jason We inherently are wired to not say you're struggling. And once you s- once you have the realization that the only person you're slowing down is yourself, 'cause there's people out there that can help you. You just have to be open to do it. So [00:42:00] asking that or sharing that statement with someone to get that feedback, I'm like, "That's a beautiful message that I needed to receive."

Hector Yeah, very beautiful. And, go back and listen to the two episodes we did with Dr. Kelly Flanagan, who is a, a brilliant, I wanna say emblem of I think what is, what's possible for guys when they do the work

Jason Yeah, he's a great leader.

Hector Two last questions for you, Jason, before we get you out of here.

Hector The first is if people want to get connected with you, follow up,where might be the best place for people to go?

Jason Yeah, the best place to grab me is on LinkedIn, and it's... I'm the only Jason Bronstad out there, so, the fortune of being a part of a company, Malk Organics, so, living life in that.

Hector how are you the only Jason Bronstad and there's other Hector Santia Stevons out there? I don't know. This makes no sense to me.

Jason There is one other Jason Bronstad. I have, met him. I met him when I was 15 years old on a beach in Jamaica during a family vacation. Fast-forward seven years after that, I ended up working with one of his good friends.

Jason So it's a small world, and there are two of us.

Hector Yeah. He's just... He's probably not online there, so you have the one up. Mine's, my other Hector is my dad, but, he's not online. But the other one is a doctor, so he, he up- one ups me on, SEO. But,I'll catch him soon. last question for you, Jason, is in your opinion, what is the definition of modern masculinity?

Jason Presence. Presence has to be the definition of modern masculinity because however you choose to invest your time being present in that moment, be it at work, be it at home, be it in your third space, be it in your self development, when you're present and not a passerby in your life, you are the best version of yourself