How Dr. Shikha Goodwin Helps Leaders Through Brain Science

[00:00:03] Hector: and welcome to another episode of the how to scale a business podcast. My name is Hector Santhia Esteban and I am your host for today. Our special guest is Dr. Sheikha Goodwin and she is a brain expert and someone who is going to help us get to the root and the core of what helps us scale, which is for a lot of founders, you know what we are, thinking and, that helps us create.

[00:00:25] Hector: So, Dr. Sheikha, thanks so much for hanging out with us today.

[00:00:27] Dr. Shikha: Thank you so much, Hector. So I have to be true to myself. I want to definitely say, because there might be 10 percent of you listening that I'm definitely not our expert for sure. There might be 10 50 percent of you listening here who might know so much more than me that I know in brain. So definitely, I want to lay that out, Hector.

[00:00:49] Dr. Shikha: So,

[00:00:49] Hector: Well, well, maybe that's important because I, I don't know, I don't always think that credentials are important, at least in most of what we talk about here, because, you know, I could list off a lot of our guests accomplishments and, The other side of it is the listeners are there going, who cares about this?

[00:01:10] Hector: However, and what we're going to talk about, I think it is, it is important for us to share sort of that because you have dedicated a large portion of your time to these things and understanding them at a level that I think you're being very modest and saying that there's that many people who know more than you.

[00:01:25] Hector: But, why don't you give us a little bit about your background, what you think is relevant to the conversation. And then, a little bit about what you spend your time doing today.

[00:01:32] Dr. Shikha: sure, Hector, I would love to. So I want to say that going back super, super long ago when I was born, I'm still forever young. Is, one of the things that is always been there is curiosity. So for anyone who's listening is younger or like a kid, like my kids, curious, curiosity is there. Why I'm here, like I'm in America, this privileged land, it's like this land of opportunity is curiosity, not even knowing what was America for so many years of my life.

[00:02:02] Dr. Shikha: So, and wanting to also always discover being inspired by people beyond my age, beyond my time, like Madame Curie, Malala, Mother Teresa, and like Gandhi and like the land where I come from. So all those people were there for me. In my early, early parts of development, but definitely all that came to me through books.

[00:02:23] Dr. Shikha: So I have lots and lots of books in my house. So going back to my undergraduate is in chemical engineering. I was a summa cum laude. I was top two female students in India and, in chemical engineering. And I was honored to be selected in a lot of places. I published papers at a very young age, under 20 in really reputable journals.

[00:02:46] Dr. Shikha: I was I got this amazing opportunity to be able to come to America at the age of 21. So I did not know anything or anyone in America, but I know I have this opportunity where I can study and I'll be paid to study. So that's like the biggest honor. So I was able to send some money back home. So I went to Atlanta and I got my master's in chemical and biomolecular engineering from Georgia Institute of Technology.

[00:03:11] Dr. Shikha: I did lots and lots of stuff there, but one of the favorite things is I actually went from there to Europe to get 18 European transfer credits in New Bulgaria University, Sofia, and I learned about cognition, brain, and from there on I was unstoppable because that brought me to snowy Minnesota and for the first time in life I saw snow.

[00:03:31] Dr. Shikha: My parents are still yet to see and all my family back home has not seen snow yet. But I was privileged enough. So I was able to be fortunate of being the first student in my advisor's laboratory and he got trained by. Mega, mega, amazing, amazing people who discovered so many things about brain. Like, I can just keep on talking like all these devices we make in the brain, but that was discovered back in the eighties.

[00:03:56] Dr. Shikha: So I can talk about that, but I got this super amazing honor to be the first student in Matt Shafee's class. Laboratory. So I did hardware, software, all sorts of fun stuff and lots of programming. But I was able to get my PhD in biomedical engineering at University of Minnesota. Lots and lots of things we did, like we published research in high profile journals, we secured 1 million funding.

[00:04:17] Dr. Shikha: I was an NIH Roadmap Scholar. I got lots and lots of multiple Best Poster Awards. I used to get like small 500 things, money at Life Science Alley Conference. But the important thing actually we did was we discovered the executive basis of neural control to help translate the understanding of schizophrenia.

[00:04:36] Dr. Shikha: And we did that by doing surgery in the brain of non racist macaques, monkeys, but basically being able to discover if right now you're seeing something in left, something in right, what's causing that? Where in the brain is happening? And when I'm talking about this is a Very, very small, minute scales. So you're going inside the brain.

[00:04:56] Dr. Shikha: You're able to hear, see what neurons are doing. So yes, I can go more and more into that. So I do have my doctorate from university of Minnesota in biomedical engineering.

[00:05:07] Hector: So just, just a little bit of research on this stuff. you've read a few books, I guess. Well, first off, I want to honor and for all of that, because. I think it's so important and your willingness to kind of take that path, which is, is definitely, I'm sure not , the easiest path. I'm sure rewarding. I've got lots of questions, but for the sake of this conversation, I want to throw, I don't want to ask the question to you in the sense of for a founder, for a leader, for a. A business owner who is, when I think about it, they're creating their job every day. A lot of times they're doing things that are totally new and novel.

[00:05:47] Hector: There's no playbook necessarily. it's not like they can look at, the past necessarily determine the future, right? There's so much uncertain. There's all of these things that a founder is sort of dealing with. And I'm curious for you, when you hear that sort of. Daily environment that someone is living in, how does that interface with the brain and how and what do you think that the brain and sort of what you've learned about?

[00:06:13] Hector: what are some things that, that come to mind in terms of things that might be helpful for for that person to know?

[00:06:21] Dr. Shikha: So I have three things and I'm making it up because this is the question I did not know. One, never give up. That's one thing I can tell you. I actually, I'm able to do this podcast right now and I'll share my personal story. The worst has happened yesterday, just in my brain, for sure. So I did not have desire to dress up or sit here or look pretty or smile.

[00:06:44] Dr. Shikha: But that's just something every of your listener or leader or people or not even a founder, anyone is facing, right? Like just with the enormity and just so much negativity or sometimes bad things thrown at us. Everyone is facing that. So don't give up. Because the second thing is what's positive. You hold on to that.

[00:07:03] Dr. Shikha: Is that your word from your grandma back then when you were young? Is that something that just joyous when the wind blows on your face or is that just that desire to create wealth or create name or just help people, whatever keeps you going, or it's just this little cute word from someone. So just keep that positive.

[00:07:22] Dr. Shikha: And then third is be realistic. Like sometimes. The conversations that you draw in your brain, which you don't want to tell anyone sometimes are the ones you have to be realistic about. So for me, Just like an example yesterday, the play I was doing to myself, like today you're saying you're so good.

[00:07:41] Dr. Shikha: You're so amazing. But my brain has not been telling me that for the last 12 hours after facing the rejections. Right? So for a new co founder, it's happening every day because they're dealing with nuances of things. So be realistic and find those three, four people who will give you the real truth. So giving up.

[00:08:00] Dr. Shikha: Never give up. you have a dream. It will somehow come into rotation maybe in a day, in a week, in a month, but don't give up. Second, what's positive. Just hold on to that. Like it's okay to hold on to whatever little positive you have. And then third is be realistic and how you will know you are realistic.

[00:08:17] Dr. Shikha: Yes, there are steps. And if you want, I can go into the brain mechanisms of how memory is formed and what replay happens and things, but let's see, like how detailed you want to go in your early mechanisms.

[00:08:28] Hector: Well, I'm curious and maybe this is relevant to that. One thing that I Okay. Learned and sort of came to understand both through, meditation and silence and all these sorts of things is, is that the brain is not necessarily the driver of the car. was a very, you know, I'm a very intellectual person.

[00:08:49] Hector: I'm a Libra. I weigh things out, you know, like my head, I was a very head. Oriented sort of person and driven by my head much more than my heart, or some people are driven by their gut or, you know, these other sort of, centers. And, in that sort of realization, thought that my brain was. Was how it was, I thought it was programmed how it was programmed, I started to realize that there were upgrade that I could upgrade my brain that I could install a better operating system that there were, whether it's through mindset or perspective or, paradigm, like I could actually, it was a multiple, sort of thing.

[00:09:25] Hector: And so I'm curious for you, When you hear those sorts of things, I know nothing about the mechanics of how any of this works. I'm just, I'm sitting in silence and, hoping that, some wisdom comes to me. Does any of that make sense?

[00:09:39] Dr. Shikha: Lot of it. So right now, what all you're saying, you are so curious about the brain. So first thing I can tell you, so you want to know the three, four good books that will give you a big education or three, four lectures of things. But what you're saying, I'll tell you, yes. Install, upgrade, moldable. Yes. We saw it in our research, actually myself, like we saw.

[00:10:00] Dr. Shikha: I was working with exercise with MS veterans. So these are veterans who have served our country. Like what a great honor, right? To be at VA for 15 years. I was at VA department of veterans affairs and just no greater joy in seeing, you know, just spending this view of like, I went to the elevator and I'll see this couples holding hand.

[00:10:19] Dr. Shikha: So I'm working in this. I'm actually working in brain doing surgeries, all this stuff. But then you see this cute joy with couples who are coming here just and then go to cafeteria and they're eating grilled cheese or something. That's the joy of seeing people who serve our country. But now I want to serve them.

[00:10:34] Dr. Shikha: So I'm serving this veterans population. We want to see if exercise can be good for your brain. So we wanted to go through methodologically. So we designed an intervention. We designed a study, but we like at the end of it, we want doctors. Your neurologist, doctors to be able to say, yes, exercise can change your brain and we don't want to just say it.

[00:10:53] Dr. Shikha: We want to provide evidence. So we did provide evidence that exercise and there's enough evidence for MS, multiple sclerosis, schizophrenia, depression, even the one session after, like, I'm not kidding. Like today, if you go to gym, Going outside to out or just to the pond or just outside in nature Working out.

[00:11:14] Dr. Shikha: Neurons and hippocampus are always changing and I can tell you more and more details into what is hippocampus in the brain, what hippocampus does. It's changing and I had veterans all ages and I had some veterans who on wheelchair, so, and they're wheelchair basketball, so it's changing. So all install, upgrade.

[00:11:37] Dr. Shikha: Exercise using this brain in a different mechanism they showed in mice. This is like back in 2005 or six when I was coming into brain like I want to do my PhD. So I was like, there are all these experts they are showing. They took two mice and they put them in different environment and almost Alzheimer's rewards.

[00:11:56] Dr. Shikha: How? By putting it in a stimulating environment. What that means for us, Adults is maybe doing Sudoku, maybe using your brain in a different manner. So if you're using a novel, read differently or reading different news or seeing different people interacting. So putting the brain in different circumstances in you because it's allowing it to mold.

[00:12:17] Dr. Shikha: So those kinds of things. So yes, all of this is true. And when you're talking about this brain, gut and heart, basically what you're trying to get at is feelings, motivation, what drives us. And it's in the brain, but it's in the hidden, deep limbic structures. And we have been doing amazing research when I say we, like me some, but Thousands and millions of other people who are so much more talented and doing so many different methods in the brain.

[00:12:43] Dr. Shikha: And we are very lucky. We have so really great centers here in the ministry, Minnesota and things, but all over the world, actually. So it's hard because of course I cannot go in your brain right now. Right. My brain right now it's functioning. So the baby no more about brain is if it's human brain. If it's open for epilepsy stroke, we can go inside and record.

[00:13:03] Dr. Shikha: If it's the brain closest to human brain, like macaque or other, we can go inside and look into even when they're awake and live and compare analogously how it's done. So I can go more deeper and deeper, but what I'm trying to say is the deep structures that coded amygdala, hippocampus, I'll start throwing names, but these deep structures are yet to be studied more because deep means, so imagine you're seeing my skull, it's like.

[00:13:27] Dr. Shikha: Literally like the center. So it's hard to get to those areas where memories, emotions, emotions, we don't even have a clue. Why? What? When? So we have so much yet to discover.

[00:13:40] Hector: Yeah, well, what's interesting is that I think a lot of founders Are starting to realize the importance of taking care of their health, probably 5, 10 years ago, there was the classic example of the person working at their desk with, Cheetos all over and, chips and, soda and Red Bull.

[00:14:01] Hector: And there was all this, you know, sugar and, process stuff and whether people woke up to it or, or I don't know, like, I think there was a wake up that was not sustainable, that if you want to grow your business, taking care of your body and ultimately your brain. is really important.

[00:14:19] Hector: And so for you, what are some things like if you think about maybe I'm thinking about the brain as a muscles incorrectly, but how might I not only care for my brain as a founder, but how might I exercise or improve or develop my brain so that it has more capacity than it currently does?

[00:14:39] Dr. Shikha: You got it so right, Hector. First of all, everyone should listen to your podcast and you are so good. And we are sorry for that. Like it happened, right? It's known men live lesser than women, right? So in some case, why? Because they had this burden to go out there. Get money fame or other things to provide support for families or other things, right?

[00:15:00] Dr. Shikha: Like there is a drive there. So that's there. That's good. But I like what you're saying that in nowadays, we're discovering it's not about just those three things or four things, right? It's so much about long marathon, long journey. Like after retirement, will you be healthy and good? Would you capture heart disease or brain disorder or any things of that sort?

[00:15:21] Dr. Shikha: And then your life is like, you know, like you did so many good things in life society, but then now who is taking a few. So let's talk about that. And I want that. I want that for anyone, everyone, and all of us, me, you, and all of us people ready to us, but then anyone and everyone listening. So let's, and I have a full recipe for it.

[00:15:40] Dr. Shikha: And the person who was directing research. He wrote a book, so I can tell you that book, all the books I can tell you, it's very simple, we'll count on our head. So first I'm going to tell you how I have this, so that always listeners know I'm a doctor, so I always have to tell like a scientist or an engineer, this is how it is.

[00:15:59] Dr. Shikha: It's evidence is known. If you just Google blue zone, blue zone, there are people, there are places in the world where people live up to a hundred and they're looking very happily and satisfied. It's well known country, Norway. If you just click Norway and go to the website, they are almost started following it, but a lot of other people and countries and generations are recognizing.

[00:16:20] Dr. Shikha: So very simple. That's where the evidence comes from. So evidence is very like, uh, scientifically grounded, sleeping, so important for your brain, brain does so many things while sleeping. We can go into details of that. Sleeping. Please don't think you can sleep less and get do the work. That's like thing I tell my kids every day.

[00:16:37] Dr. Shikha: I tell myself sleeping, sleeping, sleeping. Please make sure you sleep. And I promise you will get sleep without medication. Just try and sleep. Don't allow your brain to even have a choice. One. Second, food. You talked about it. Nutrition. Easy thing. Look at colors. That's why I'm wearing all these colors.

[00:16:56] Dr. Shikha: Just look at colors in your food. So don't look for brown or yellow. I tell my kids, they're smart, you know, look for blue, green. Like you see all these colors in this video, look for colors in your food. Simple every time. So you can tell your kids also anyone food, just all the time, look for colors. Okay.

[00:17:13] Dr. Shikha: So vegetables, fruit, all that colors, it will really make you not hungry. If you eat that eat before you are hungry. So that we can go in details of each of them. So remember sleep, have to sleep. Love to sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep. Food. Food is really, really important. Actually, brain consumes most amount of energy than compared to any part of your body.

[00:17:33] Dr. Shikha: So, when I'm talking about brain, it's like really an organ in this case. So, sleep, food. Third. Is a community. So we need community. The biggest punishment we get give to someone is put them in jail. So we're removing them from their community. We all need community different. It might be for anyone. We need that support.

[00:17:54] Dr. Shikha: So develop that make that so let's go through again. So do how many do you remember?

[00:17:59] Hector: Uh, the first one is sleep and, we have sleep, food and community.

[00:18:04] Dr. Shikha: Okay. So these three, and we can go into details of what and how it's needed. Four, we are going to talk about is meditation. When I'm talking meditation, it's might be intimidating to some. I have been practicing for a long time. There are centers which are all free of cost to anyone. No. No money, you have to pay all food and everything will be given anywhere.

[00:18:24] Dr. Shikha: And it's based on 2000 years of research. It's called Vipassana centers. I can send you the link if you need, but there are different forms of meditation. But basically what meditation does is it closes the input from outside. So I practice every day. My kids practice. They've been practicing for one year, but you just sit down and you're closing the input from outside and you're closing the eyes, you're closing all the sensory input.

[00:18:45] Dr. Shikha: So that's meditation can seem intimidating. Initially you can do yoga. I've done. Easier forms, but just stopping that input relaxation. It's called right. So four, we have now we are going to add a couple more. So one of them is nature. Nature is so important. I always think about this trees. A lot of them came before me and a lot of them are going to be here after me.

[00:19:08] Dr. Shikha: So just nature, water, please. Wind we have so many lakes or oceans, things like that. So nature that came before us and will be after us. Nature. So spending time in nature, being there, one is the, those are the five and I want to tell you two more, but before I tell you, I want all of us to take a minute and guess in your brain.

[00:19:32] Dr. Shikha: So we're going to take a one minute pause.

[00:19:54] Dr. Shikha: So yeah, so one minute is not over, but I'm okay with listeners because they might be getting a little bit. and see, they have not done meditation or being calm or like be quiet where their thoughts they have to deal with, but what did, what are the one or two things I missed right now?

[00:20:07] Dr. Shikha: I have a question for you. I'm putting you on the spot.

[00:20:10] Hector: the thing that came up for me and maybe it was included was like, uh, movement, uh, or exercise.

[00:20:16] Dr. Shikha: Exercise. Yes. So exercise is it. So everyone, when I talk about meditation, it was more quieter. Exercise is so important, and we talked about it a little bit earlier, how exercise is so important, and we proved in brain how it was so essential. So exercise, and there are different forms of exercise, non aerobic, aerobic, going to gym, playing basketball, it's just tons of times, right?

[00:20:35] Dr. Shikha: You can do dancing a lot, so on. Last one that's missing And I'm going to use a Japanese word, though, even though I'm Indian is Ikkagai. So that took me a time to learn, memorize, and know the spelling, and it's very deep rooted. It's like, it's amazing word, but it's basically the sense of purpose of living on this planet Earth.

[00:20:58] Dr. Shikha: So going back to your listener, primarily, who are leaders, who are innovators, who are New compounders for them is literally the one that would strike to them the most like that's literally, they truly believe that's their existence on the, that's the reason for their existence on this planet earth, right?

[00:21:15] Dr. Shikha: So they truly believe that and that's why in spite of any rejections, not getting money, not getting people and not getting the results, they are still going, right? So that's kind of what a guy is. But it has so much more deeper meaning.

[00:21:28] Hector: Yeah. I've heard it as like the intersection of your skills, your interests, and like where you can make money maybe, right? Those

[00:21:38] Dr. Shikha: Yes. And passion. Yeah. All four. So there are four in there, but you got it right. Perfect. You know it already. So I don't, I'm

[00:21:44] Hector: don't know. I, I don't know anything. I tell my kids all the time that, you know, They say, Dad, you're supposed to know everything. I go, I'm figuring it all out with you. Um, I'm curious. A lot of the other ones, I would imagine that there is some research there and you give us a number of them, but I'm curious if this last one, this, this purpose part, if you're seeing that show up in the research, or if you've seen that kind of show up in, um, In your, you know, from a scientific perspective, a lot of times people think that that's all in the, in the cloud or that's like, separate that from, maybe their, brain.

[00:22:21] Hector: Right. But is that something that you see crossing over? What,

[00:22:26] Dr. Shikha: So now your listeners will truly know that I am not know it all. so I will be honest to say that I don't know. As soon as he started saying the one pointer that came to my brain was 10 years ago, a research I had read, and it was someone actually in Iowa or so, this researchers looking into these people who are like either very high in IQ or being like 100 to 200 years like these found like, you know, these top most people in a way that have founded the way of life, sort of.

[00:22:57] Dr. Shikha: And this is, that's what I'm saying. So you're testing my long term memory, so we are going to some parts of my brain. And I remember reading all those articles and there was a correlation to the past or trauma or what's causing it, like motivation behind that. So, but I have to really be honest because I don't want to rely on my super long term memory where I'm not a good at it.

[00:23:20] Dr. Shikha: So I have to yet to read, it's just my ignorance to be honest. So I have, I don't know,

[00:23:26] Hector: what, what is your, well, no, I, I don't know. I only know that it seems that things are easier when things are in alignment, that there is a, there's a, natural energy or motivation to do things that are, that I'm interested in. or that are in alignment there. And so I would imagine that there is some mechanism happening. And I don't know how, motivation, hormones or chemicals like that sort of stuff works. But I would imagine that there is something there that when someone is engaged in their purpose and in flow, would imagine that a lot of it, could stem from that, the flow sort of research, but I'm just guessing because it seems that things are easier when that happens,

[00:24:14] Dr. Shikha: Yeah, so I would maybe call upon a word called resilience. So going back to me, like resilience. To me, resilience is the key. How do you get release resilience? Can it be a lab or can it be given to help build resilience? Because to me, like if you go back to trauma, we'll have a veteran and two veterans might have forced the same trauma.

[00:24:38] Dr. Shikha: Watching a friend get gunshot or something, but we see research and research has shown one might be able to do all chores of life, going about daily life, having family, everything, versus the other one is having. episodes or bouts of PTSD, depression, things like that. Same thing can translate into having suppose a rape victim or suicide victim, right?

[00:25:02] Dr. Shikha: So we see that. So I was so curious about super long time about brain. Are there two brains that are different, right? What helped build resilience One brain versus another, what help builds that in organism, right? If we went through the same circumstances, would one person be tormented, trauma, all, all those things versus one not, right?

[00:25:22] Dr. Shikha: So that's maybe where we are trying to get to. So yeah, maybe there. And for me, important thing is why can't it be positivity, happiness, calm, that's what unites everyone. so that anyone can do anything. And then we are all there for each other, right? that's what keeps me going. Like, that's what I want for the world.

[00:25:45] Hector: you've mentioned this trauma, you know, the trauma concept a couple of times. And usually we don't talk about it a lot on this show. I have a men's mental health show where it's a little bit more of part of the discussion, but I'm wondering if it should be If it warrants being a bigger part of the business founder, growth, scaling sort of conversation, because at least in my experience, I've realized that I hit a certain level of capacity and my business hits a certain level of capacity and I'm not able to continue.

[00:26:21] Hector: grow my way out of that. I'm not able to read or intellectualize or, you know, adding more stuff on is not the problem. It's actually fixing some of these trauma responses or fixing some of these bad habits or fixing some of these, these negative perspectives and mindsets that are limiting me and thus limiting my business from growing.

[00:26:42] Hector: So is it, is there, healing trauma is that, does that warrant a conversation in the sort of CEO, founder, entrepreneur kind of

[00:26:53] Dr. Shikha: Yes, yes, yes. So I can almost guarantee. Whether they say it out loud or not, whatever your profile. So if you're going to do a hundred more people over a course of time, suppose one year, five years, the why is important. So why is that founder, that founder? Why is that person motivated to do that? So I can almost guarantee that there's an experience.

[00:27:19] Dr. Shikha: From early childhood, like when the brain is being formed, experiences are turned into beliefs. So I can tell you all about like how brain development happened at ages. There are stories and stories that are hidden that is causing it. So like for you, why did you choose to do this? For me, why did I choose to study brain?

[00:27:39] Dr. Shikha: If you keep going in deeper and deeper into why, because there's why about anything. So we say, if you ask, like, we'll talk about anything. Why? There'll be a why about that. Why about that. So you can keep going why and why and why. So if a founder is willing and open or they can do it deep closed book, they don't have to share, they can do in the journal and report back.

[00:27:59] Dr. Shikha: But if you go to why out of those hundreds, there may be something formative in their early childhood experiences and their beliefs, right? So that's definitely the reason why they're doing it. Okay. So that's, I can guarantee. So out of hundred 80 or so either will be able to delve in. Openly some here or some maybe I'm not able to save consciously is unconsciously there, right?

[00:28:24] Dr. Shikha: So now, because of that, they want to Not have that happen if it is was a negative one, there are two, they can be experiences, what kind of so they don't want that to happen to other person, or they don't want that to happen to their kids, or they're just protecting the environment, the situation, or like whatever they are under, I can talk about what I'm trying to do, or what I want to do, or what my vision is, suppose.

[00:28:52] Dr. Shikha: But let's talk about it right now. So what is your vision? Let's talk about that. Hector, what drives you to do what you do?

[00:29:00] Hector: I, as you're saying that, I'm, I don't know the root, I mean, the root of it. I know I've been chasing self worth and insecurity, you know, running away from insecurity my whole life. I don't, why? I'm not sure, but everything has been, trying to seek some sort of recognition and validation and running away from, Insecurities,

[00:29:21] Dr. Shikha: Who provided you that in early childhood? Let's think through that. type of person would provide that? I don't, because I

[00:29:30] Dr. Shikha: I will talk about myself if you want, and maybe that will help you open. My goal is for you to open. So my mom, and this is hard. I've never done it on like I, yeah. So my mom, so normally a mom would do that, but a parent could do it and you will have a normal childhood and environment where you'll but my mom chose to end her life.

[00:29:55] Dr. Shikha: I mean, I was 15 months old. and this was hidden from me. I figured it out at age 10 something. So that's where the curiosity and scientific mind comes from. And the desire to be engineer and help comes from 15 and 18, seeing changes that life can do. So those are my formative experiences. So I have some desire similar to your suppose, chasing, suppose self worth, security, those all suppose, but more than anything that not happening to anyone, right?

[00:30:26] Dr. Shikha: So if you were born. Whichever era, whichever country, whichever place, then after that, you would have to have a super nurturing environment, right? Like a nurturing environment, a childhood that's free of tension, free of all these worldly worries. And it's just, you have love, you have kindness, you have food.

[00:30:46] Dr. Shikha: And mostly it comes from mom, like called mom's love is unconditional love. So mom will always feed you, take care of you, hug you, put you to sleep. Like those kind of things, like most of the people, other sometimes they have their grandma, maternal, paternal, or grandpa, dad, like those kind of situations.

[00:31:03] Dr. Shikha: And once we have that, we don't have to be looking for that self worth somewhere else. Like for me, like I thought some things I can control, where I can recognize, like I can control my actions, so I know the results. And it's not like, On paper, it can be controlled, right? So that's kind of where I was, but this is still very hard.

[00:31:24] Dr. Shikha: Like I don't talk about that. And I'm slowly becoming open. Like I'm supporting AFSP and I'm doing lots and lots of things about suicide prevention, postpartum depression, because there's It should, suicide is a preventable death. No one should ever do that. so women after giving birth, the most positive, amazing experience of their life should be supported by each and every one of us.

[00:31:46] Dr. Shikha: And then should have this capacity to be whosoever they want to be, but definitely be this loving, nurturing environment for the kid, so yeah, let's go back to you. So your answer, like my answer to your question is mom, right? Mom should be doing that for sure.

[00:32:03] Hector: well, I just want to thank you and honor you for, sharing and then your life's, work since then. , and I think it bears taking a moment for that. As you were, kind of talking about it. I think it's, I mean, who it was or what it was. I just grew up in a large family where there was lots of older cousins who were like, frankly, bullies, you know, and I remember just always feeling less than smaller than feeling not enough.

[00:32:30] Hector: so wanting to prove myself right or stand out and be different from this, whatever that was. my question, though, is,

[00:32:38] Dr. Shikha: that, to honor that, we have to have a step of action. It's like no more bullying in school, no more like picking on other kids, whether it's small, big, in households. No more bullying in politics. No more bullying in science. Like it doesn't, but you know, when you have a place of privilege, then you can use that place of privilege to be a loving and kind environment.

[00:33:00] Dr. Shikha: So going back to, if I was there, when you were getting bullied, I'm going to just hug Hector. Like even if I'm like this neighborhood girl or the sister or thing and be like, stop that too. don't do that to you and just provide you with this. Support and nurturing and save like you can be anything you can be anyone and stop.

[00:33:19] Dr. Shikha: So stop, stop, stop to anywhere that's happening, right? Like if it's happening to my kid at school, if it's happening to anyone in politics, if it's happening to someone in work environment. Like, I know this was not our intention of talking and things, but if it's happening to new people who are reading or listening to this, the first step is to say stop.

[00:33:40] Dr. Shikha: then we have these brain mechanisms that's going on internally, Like, Hector, you and I can understand, right? Like, I cried yesterday since the news that I got since yesterday to today. Like a lot 8 to 10 hours, right? I'm really sad right now. Something is going on. Like I got no from the job.

[00:33:55] Dr. Shikha: I really want like a lot of things are happening. So it's hard, right? Like, because all those mechanisms in my brain that I have been storing from very early on, from work. Whenever I got rejected, whenever someone bullied me, whenever I was sexually like a lot of bad things happening, then happen, my self worth kept going down, down, down, down, down.

[00:34:19] Dr. Shikha: So now there are traumas or things associated with that. They come up, they come up, they will come up when something happens, something you really want. So that being said, no more, right? Like no more. We can use the exact same thing for love and nurturing because when you give, that's when brain feels the best.

[00:34:39] Dr. Shikha: I can give you so many examples, even in depression, even if it's very feeling bad, the brain mechanism that gets enlightened. If this is shown in research all around, you actually feel more positive by giving, even if it's saying the word thank you, even if it's just giving little cookies. I read the one you had that thank you one, like for one year, the person wrote thank you cards.

[00:35:01] Dr. Shikha: Five. It's so true. So true. So anyone who is bullying right now in schools or anywhere, like, community, politics, anywhere, any countries or wars are happening. When you're thinking that by what do you call it? Like by fighting or by being bad or by being using words of aggression or thing, you are thinking you might get that affirmation or recognition or fame or money or anything.

[00:35:26] Dr. Shikha: No brain actually does not work like that because I promise you the sleep REM versus non REM conscious thoughts in the end is not good. So I'm sorry if I distracted or I went through the topic that you were not supposed to, but I thought it was important, Hector, that we stop that bullying, we stop these shootings in school because like these kids who are going out there or adults who are going out there, they have this need for being loved.

[00:35:55] Dr. Shikha: Being accepted and they're just somehow taking out in a wrong manner.

[00:36:00] Hector: yeah, and I think both sides, right? I think it's the ability for people to, you know, when you were saying that. if you were there, you would have given me in a hug and stuff like that. The other side of it is like, and this is just for me personally, just expanding on it. there was also plenty of, aunts and cousins and women who gave me that hug, what I needed.

[00:36:20] Hector: And I guess when you were saying like, what do I now, what am I excited to give? what I needed and what I am now excited to give is, is the empowering encouragement to a kid who is like, yeah, the bully. The bully is one thing, but the bully is going to keep like less about them and more about telling this kid, you're not what they say that you, you know, and empowering the kid, That's where I go. And that, for me, I think when I think about what am I trying to do? Oh, yeah, I'm just trying to empower people who, who have a gift, but don't feel powerful enough to share it. And, and that's what it comes

[00:36:53] Dr. Shikha: I love it. And that's like, my husband always says to me is like, the best revenge is do nothing. That's what Mahatma Gandhi said. That's why like meditation teaches you when we go to Vasana and all. It's your brain. You are teaching it to not react. Even if it's by words, even if it's by actions, do nothing is the best revenge.

[00:37:15] Dr. Shikha: Literally. If you can be happy like that's i'm like quoting myself today The best revenge is to be positive, writing my book, like being good, doing things to society, community, cooking, taking care of all the things I do. That is the best revenge to something that happened to you, me, anyone who's listening.

[00:37:35] Dr. Shikha: So going back to our lead. Listeners, I had like this action plan of things to do, but I want to revise for sure because there are a couple things sometimes my brain doesn't remember. So I focus on short term memory, the long term memory, the memory that happens in a couple days. Don't give up. Focus on what's positive.

[00:37:54] Dr. Shikha: Be realistic. And then now I'm going to use your short term memory and see how many of the seven things you remember that we are supposed to do to keep our brain active.

[00:38:04] Hector: Oh, sleep, sleep, nutrition, sleep, nutrition, community, meditation, exercise. Uh, what else did we say? Those are the ones that stuck. Oh, yeah. Nature,

[00:38:20] Dr. Shikha: Yes.

[00:38:21] Hector: and, purpose was another one.

[00:38:23] Dr. Shikha: Yes. Yes. You got it. That's it. That's it. So each of the listener who is out there, that's it. All of us need to do it every day and build it in our daily process because that will become a schedule that will keep you going. Anything that any bully that comes, anything that hits you, any negative news that comes to you, your schedule, your, Connection, community will keep you going and then anything you want to do will happen.

[00:38:51] Dr. Shikha: So I want to make sure that, your listener keeps on listening to you. for me, it was like my first step, first podcast. And I'm, I'm like, Oh, I'm scared. So hopefully my scare will get over slowly, slowly. Like things will happen rightly.

[00:39:07] Hector: Yeah, well, it was a great episode. Very, very educational, informative and some great, great insights and stories. If people want to stay connected with you or go deeper in your world, follow up with you. Where's the best place to go?

[00:39:21] Dr. Shikha: I think they will find me somewhere. And I had a lot of methods and Things I had written before I started, but right now what I really, really, really want everyone to do is spread love and like do all those seven steps. All anyone, everyone, like I truly, truly believe in this world. And I had written it all down before I was going to talk to you.

[00:39:43] Dr. Shikha: we can all support each other, irrespective of gender, caste, money, whatever. Like what, or like ethnicity and all that, like that all is old. When you were talking about old, that was old. So not looking back, it's more about we are all here. We are, we can smile all the time and smiling takes less muscles.

[00:40:05] Dr. Shikha: It helps the dopamine release in your brain. So if you're smiling, you're keeping in touch with me. If you're exercising, you're keeping in touch with me. If you're with nature, not cutting trees and planting more. If you're eating healthy, lots and lots of colorful food, you're with me. So all those things and make sure you listen to his next podcast for sure and I'm writing a couple books but I have to keep having that strength here to write those right and do it in the rightful manner where my super smart intelligent scientific community that I'm afraid of always will say you did a good job.

[00:40:38] Dr. Shikha: So my PhD advisor and all these amazing people I know.

[00:40:42] Hector: Well, we'll at least link up your LinkedIn, and maybe a website as well. So people can check the show notes. I want to thank all you listeners for sticking with us today and being here today. We would be forever grateful for a rating or review wherever you get your podcasts. And if you know someone who needs to hear this or someone who would benefit from listening, we would be also grateful if you hit that share button and send it to them, let them know that you were thinking about them, but go get connected with myself on LinkedIn and Instagram at Hector underscore podcast.

[00:41:09] Hector: If you're not already. We'll see on the next one. Later, y'all.