Celebrating Resilience and Transformation with Dr. Carolyn Colleen

[00:00:00] LuRae: Today, I have a very special guest, Dr. Carolyn Colleen Bostrick. She's an executive leader and author, speaker, humanitarian, dedicated to empowering women and fostering leadership. She's also the founder of Fierce Foundation. And I would love to welcome you to the show, Carolyn, and have you share some of your journey and how you got.

[00:00:30] LuRae: Where you are today?

[00:00:32] Carolyn: Well, thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here and to share this space with you. I love, uh, how we met and through beautiful connections and being here to share my journey. And my journey is an interesting one. Uh, and I don't have to go into complete detail, but, uh, The overall is like we were just saying, it's been an interesting conglomeration of storms and there are many storms in my life.

[00:01:03] Carolyn: And as I look back, it's the tools that I've brought with me on these different storms. Now, when I say storms, they are different adversities and how might we take those adversities and use them as fuel to power us forward in a, in a meaningful way. And also intentional way in order to live a life that we deserve.

[00:01:24] Carolyn: And so for me, I've gone from Salvation Army to PhD. I've gone from, um, navigating a difficult upbringing and young, young adulthood to creating a life that is intentional for myself and for my business, both personally and professionally. Um, and so that, that's been a long and short of my journey. Today, I help humans identify a bit of what are they meant for and how might you build from adversity into a life that you deserve.

[00:02:09] LuRae: Hmm. So beautiful. So beautiful. What would you say are some of the like flags or the milestones or turning points that helped you pivot from where you started to get to where you are currently?

[00:02:30] Carolyn: There's several and I had to really take a space to reflect and look back on my life, my short lifetime, um, in those different transitions. So, for 1, when I was leaving my abusive marriage. And making a stand in which to do that in that space when I decided to make that choice. It wasn't an immediate choice.

[00:02:58] Carolyn: It took me over a year in which to leave. I needed to be able to look at what it would, what would my future be.

[00:03:06] LuRae: Mm-hmm

[00:03:07] Carolyn: If I stayed be able to create the strength in which to see that I could make a move. I remember specifically staring at a clock standing in line at the Salvation Army after I had made the choice to leave. I escaped with two boxes and a toddler bed, and baby in tow. And when I looked at that clock, I, I remember staring at the, the longhand of that clock, and not knowing where my next meal would come from, didn't know where I was going to live, and I was scared. Scared of the unknown and scared of, um, the restraining order that I knew was only as strong as the paper it was written on. And I remember a social worker speaking to me, saying, Carolyn, you can do this one day at a time.

[00:04:07] LuRae: Mm

[00:04:08] Carolyn: And I thought, one day at a time? You've got to be kidding me. I can't do one day. But as I looked at that clock, I realized I could maybe do five minutes.

[00:04:20] LuRae: mm

[00:04:21] Carolyn: And so I took a deep breath. And I focused in, and with that deep breath and that focus, I harnessed a lot of the, the flashbacks and the, the, the emotions that were, that were rising up in my body that had created a lot of the, the fear. And I used those emotions in which to push me forward in a direction that served me and move me forward in that line. And soon that line, I got to the end of the line using this methodology.

[00:04:58] LuRae: mm.

[00:05:00] Carolyn: And then I had used that methodology in which to get housing, and then used the same methodology in which to get off of low income subsidies. Get through college and continue on while raising my daughter and building my career and each one of those transitions, as you said, those different forks in the road, I would take as you teach

[00:05:27] LuRae: Mm-hmm

[00:05:29] Carolyn: I would get present and I would focus on where I wanted to be, even if I didn't believe I deserved it. And then I would use the fear, those emotions that come up, uncertainty, I would use the emotion of the imposter syndrome and I would harness it. Because what I did is I used it as fuel to push me forward in a direction that serves me, even if I didn't believe I deserved it. And as I practiced that 5 minutes at a time, soon those 5 minutes turned into 10, turned into 15, and soon enough I've gotten through a whole year. And as I pause again and look back, I've gotten through my master's degree.

[00:06:12] Carolyn: I've gotten through my PhD. Um, I built my 1st home. I created my 1st business. my 1st book and using this methodology and each fork in the road has helped me to realize the power of of using adversity to your benefit. Even if you don't deserve, feel like you deserve more

[00:06:38] LuRae: Mm-hmm

[00:06:39] Carolyn: and so that's, that's how I've, have, have handled a lot of forks in the road, a lot of storms, a lot of hard times in which to incrementally teach myself, both personally and professionally, and now help thousands and thousands do the same small, incremental, intentional steps, five minutes at a time.

[00:07:06] LuRae: That's so powerful. It's making me think, visualize, as we were talking before we recorded a flame, one person holding a candle to let someone else light their flame and just help them stay afloat while they're walking through whatever it is they're walking through. Sometimes. That's all it takes. And then I'm also hearing that the power, I've been reading this and hearing this so much and we know this, that we are so much more powerful than we realize.

[00:07:40] LuRae: And by, there's a book called Be It Until You Become It. And that is that message of feeling and envisioning, even scripting your future self. And feeling the feelings of it already happening and attracting that to you. And I also understand the one minute at a time, five minutes at a time, sometimes depending on what we're walking through, that that's, that's enough just to get through the day is sometimes a miracle seems like at times.

[00:08:19] LuRae: Yeah.

[00:08:20] Carolyn: And that what you say, I, the light, sometimes you have to borrow the light another person sees in you until your light ignites.

[00:08:29] LuRae: Right.

[00:08:31] Carolyn: And so many times I had to borrow the light that another person saw until my light ignited

[00:08:37] LuRae: Yeah.

[00:08:38] Carolyn: in order to move forward. And then, and I like that what you said, be it, I say, fierce it until you be. Because many times I had to fake it until I made it,

[00:08:49] LuRae: hmm.

[00:08:50] Carolyn: but soon enough, I didn't have to fake it anymore, but I was intentionally saying, No, I'm going to fierce it. I'm going to intentionally take whatever that is that's inside, like, um, for many years because of the things that happened to me, I had to learn how to flip them for them happening for me.

[00:09:14] Carolyn: And for many years I had quite a bit of anger and, and I needed to do something with it.

[00:09:21] LuRae: Mm hmm.

[00:09:22] Carolyn: I could choose and I can see other people who were raised very similar to me that are Uh, homeless

[00:09:30] LuRae: Mm

[00:09:31] Carolyn: and I had to choose, okay, is this going to consume me

[00:09:36] LuRae: hmm.

[00:09:37] Carolyn: am I going to flip it? And it didn't mean that I didn't have the anger.

[00:09:42] Carolyn: It was how can I take it and use it for good

[00:09:46] LuRae: Mm hmm.

[00:09:47] Carolyn: and use it for, uh, taking that thought of, oh, nothing will become of you to, yeah, look at me.

[00:09:57] LuRae: Mm hmm. So good. Yes. And look at you. I mean, seriously, the connections and things that we've made in just our initial introduction. Yeah. It's like, it's showing me the power, the power of the universe and the power of belief and, and keeping our flame alive. You know, lit. Yeah.

[00:10:18] Carolyn: Exactly.

[00:10:19] LuRae: So talk about Fierce Foundation.

[00:10:21] LuRae: That is such a cool name for what you're doing and, and share what that is and what you do.

[00:10:29] Carolyn: Yes. So Fierce Foundation, to date, we have, uh, supported women side hustles and, uh, and solopreneur small business creation. We've had over 65 women now, as of last month, and it's helping women create generational self sufficiency. So for me, when I thought about, How might I be able to help other women in similar situations be able to see their value, be able to see that they are worthy, and to also create a sustainable living. And so, for me, as I have left my, um, abusive relationship, one of the biggest things that women will say is, Well, I don't have a way to do that. To sustain myself, and that keeps people from making a change.

[00:11:26] LuRae: Right.

[00:11:27] Carolyn: Well, that is, yeah, that was the original, that was the original, um, foundation to where Fierce Foundation came about, and now it's evolved even more.

[00:11:40] Carolyn: How might women be able to create generational self sufficiency?

[00:11:45] LuRae: Mm

[00:11:45] Carolyn: doesn't necessarily mean you have to come from a background of abuse,

[00:11:50] LuRae: hmm. Mm

[00:11:50] Carolyn: to understand your value.

[00:11:53] LuRae: Mm

[00:11:53] Carolyn: be able to honor that,

[00:11:55] LuRae: Right.

[00:11:55] Carolyn: some women will say, well, I don't, I don't have any skills. I don't, I don't, I don't know how I could create extra income when I don't have any skills.

[00:12:06] LuRae: Mm

[00:12:07] Carolyn: What I, what I say is, yes, you do have

[00:12:11] LuRae: hmm. Mm hmm.

[00:12:11] Carolyn: It's that you might not want to look at what they are. So, let's take a pause. And that's not that you don't want to. It's just maybe you haven't exercised it.

[00:12:20] LuRae: hmm. Mm hmm. Mm

[00:12:21] Carolyn: Let's take a pause and look at, uh, your, your unique abilities. Yeah, sure, you might not be able to write SQL or code.

[00:12:31] Carolyn: However, you might be that amazing cheerleader that, that, um, everyone in your world says, yeah, I want her in my front row. And so each person has their unique ability, understanding what that is, taking space for yourself to understand it, and then how might you identify an opportunity in the market for it?

[00:12:52] Carolyn: And so through education access and community at Fierce Foundation, we have built women up, created a community, and created a path for women to be able to do so, uh, create that generational self sufficiency for themselves.

[00:13:08] LuRae: So good. So good. Because yeah, as I heard you say, it took you a year to step into the courage to be brave enough to step out knowing you weren't, you didn't know exactly how things were going to come together. Thank goodness you did that. And I just think of, you know, women who, to your point, have, are still staying where they're at because they just can't feel that bravery or aren't able to harness that.

[00:13:42] LuRae: And so do you work with, with women who are still in that? Abusive situations or is it pretty much after they've stepped out of

[00:13:52] Carolyn: I work with. We work with women from all situations where they are. We meet them where they are and we connect them to the resources they need. So there might be, for example, women who is like, you know, I think that I have an idea for a business and I would love to, I would love to explore that. Women who need to maybe need to learn how to dream.

[00:14:16] LuRae: Mm. Mm.

[00:14:16] Carolyn: have. There's some who maybe want to shift from where they are into somewhere else. In all of the, those different scenarios, there may be a woman who is currently in a, in a bad situation. And then we then help with partnering organizations to connect them to those resources. So each woman is in a different stage of where they may be ready for whatever life is awaiting for them. Depending off, uh, depending on where they're choosing to be.

[00:14:55] LuRae: So with people who hear this, whether it's themself or someone else that they know who may be in that situation, what are some words of advice you would give people to step out from a situation that may not be serving them? Wet. Words would you have for people?

[00:15:18] Carolyn: So for me, what really got to me in order to be that final straw, was when I, when I held my little girl and I looked at her and I, and I knew The statistics um, if I were to stay in the situation I was in, fast forward, 18 years later, my daughter would be marrying the person with a different face. So I had to be the change. I didn't, I didn't care about myself enough to make a change.

[00:15:56] LuRae: Mm-hmm

[00:15:56] Carolyn: honestly, I knew how to navigate that that was normal because that's how I was raised. So, um, it wasn't, you know, necessarily that I had the, the want or need. To change my situation, however, sometimes, uh, you have to borrow the light you have for another person

[00:16:23] LuRae: Mm-hmm

[00:16:24] Carolyn: until your self love catches up and sometimes, you know, sometimes it takes a long time for that to happen, but I had to borrow the love I had for my daughter in which to make a change and this is not easy.

[00:16:38] Carolyn: This isn't something you think, Oh, You know, I'm going to make a change and then, and then often it's a surface level change that will get my nails done. I'm going to do something nice for myself talking about the very hard work that it takes to break down all the reasons why and how we got into the situation that we're in because we didn't just wake up one day and say, hey, I want to be here.

[00:17:04] LuRae: Right,

[00:17:05] Carolyn: That's not how it works.

[00:17:06] LuRae: right. Exactly.

[00:17:08] Carolyn: but I had to borrow the love I had for my daughter in which to see that I could not live with handing her off to the exact same person 18 years later. So I made an aggressive change. And, uh, now fast forward, my daughter, she's purchased her own home. She's, she purchased her first home when she was 22. And she runs to others in which to build equity and this is knowledge that I, I can, I was able to gift to her that we never would have known had I not made the change

[00:17:44] LuRae: Right.

[00:17:45] Carolyn: and, um, and, you know, she's healthy and happy. And the only, the only, um, worry she really has is, you know, whether to get sushi or Indian for dinner is simple, simple.

[00:18:00] Carolyn: Challenges and so with someone who's struggling in that space, sometimes you have to borrow the love you have for another person. If you're in that, in that situation now, because you might not have the strength or the, um. You might not have what you need at this time to make a change specifically for you, but there's someone in your world that you could maybe use the love for them in which to change.

[00:18:31] LuRae: And

[00:18:32] Carolyn: That was my situation.

[00:18:35] LuRae: so if someone isn't in the, like, geography where you are, can they reach out even though they're physically somewhere else?

[00:18:44] Carolyn: Oh, yes. Yes. So we have different ways of reaching out and then we connect to resources. So carolyncolleen. com within, uh, My website there. And then there's also a fierce foundation. So fierce dash foundation dot com. Both of those, you'll be able to gather information, see what serves you and then get connected.

[00:19:09] LuRae: Yay. So I'm linking all of that in the notes below, in the show notes. And I think, I relate to your story, all of us have in one shape or another walked through experiences similar to what you're sharing different, but similar in nature in the survivor mentality, just being a fighter and, and knowing you deserve.

[00:19:36] LuRae: More and just not maybe quite sure right at the moment, but that you're going to figure it out, which you're obviously a fighter and someone who will figure it out. And I love the fierce. Yeah, the fierce, fierce foundation. That is so good. So good. Ah, do you have any final words or advice for people listening?

[00:20:01] Carolyn: I would just say, yes, take a moment to breathe, focus and take fierce action toward whatever that is that you might not have been. willing or able to declare out loud. So, you know, there's that dream of something that you, maybe when you think when you were little, or maybe you think when you were a teenager, or maybe you think in midlife, I would love to whatever that is.

[00:20:32] Carolyn: And then explore that, take a deep breath, get present. And realize that it's for you, and then identify how might you grab up the resources in which to open that door. Listen to more podcasts. Listen in and see what is it that's for you.

[00:20:54] LuRae: Yeah. I know I've heard that, heard it many times that anything that we have as a desire was planted there by God. And so if it was planted on our heart, then it is for us. It's up to us to be brave enough to step out. Even if we can't see the. the steps to completion or how it will happen. We don't have to know how.

[00:21:18] LuRae: We just need to take the next step. I always say God gives us enough sunlight for one day and then takes it away so that we'll rest and then continue the next day. And to not lose our path, stay on our path, write it down, feel it, envision it, and To your point, anything that we've dreamt of earlier in our life, or even now, a dream someone has, anything is possible.

[00:21:44] LuRae: If you believe it, you can be it.

[00:21:47] Carolyn: Yes. Amen.

[00:21:49] LuRae: So thank you so much for coming on the show.

[00:21:52] Carolyn: Thank you so much for having me. It's been an honor.