Episode 109
The Shame-Addiction Loop No One Talks About with Michael Brabant
Hector welcomes Dr. Michael Brabant, a transformational psychologist and founder of Candor & Coherence, to explore what it really means to evolve as a man in today’s world. From confronting inherited patterns of stoicism and shame to understanding the power of emotional multiplicity through…
Show notes
Hector welcomes Dr. Michael Brabant, a transformational psychologist and founder of Candor & Coherence, to explore what it really means to evolve as a man in today’s world. From confronting inherited patterns of stoicism and shame to understanding the power of emotional multiplicity through Internal Family Systems (IFS), this conversation is a masterclass in modern manhood. Michael offers real talk on the grind culture trap, the necessity of rest, and how true fulfillment comes not from chasing success, but from aligning with your soul. The episode calls on listeners to redefine strength—not as control or domination, but as the courage to feel deeply, grieve honestly, and live with unwavering authenticity. If you've ever felt like you were doing all the right things and still felt off-center, this episode might be the nudge your inner compass has been waiting for.
Chapters:
- 00:00:00 - A Different Kind of Masculine Conversation Begins
- 00:00:37 - Why Your Inner Parts Might Be Running the Show
- 00:01:59 - What Today’s Man Is Secretly Struggling With
- 00:02:57 - How I Built a Business That Didn’t Betray My Soul
- 00:04:32 - Escaping Survival Mode: The Real Upgrade
- 00:07:48 - The Inner Voices That Shape Your Life
- 00:12:07 - Masculine Archetypes Aren’t Just Theory
- 00:15:39 - Why Men Must Grieve to Grow
- 00:20:23 - The Real Process of Shedding Old Selves
- 00:29:45 - What Rest Reveals About Who’s In Charge
- 00:35:02 - Addiction, Avoidance, and Facing What’s Real
- 00:43:04 - Rethinking Masculinity from the Inside Out
Links And Resources:
- Dr. Michael Brabant on LinkedIn
- Candor and Coherence
- Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
- Hector Santiesteban on Twitter
Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!
Full transcript
[00:00:00] Hector: Fellas, what's going on? I hope this episode finds you well, and as always, I hope this episode leaves you better than when it found you. Today's episode is with Michael Burandt, and he is a PhD. He's a trained psychologist and someone who is well versed in the internal family systems, and . It's actually, I think either the second or third person who's come on and been trained in this.
[00:00:24] Hector: And I think it's, becoming more and more important for guys to recognize that, there's some shit to fix. and the good news is, is that there is, , some tools out there that can really, help in a very effective, efficient way. And I think as guys, like, we want to get things done.
[00:00:40] Hector: And what's cool about leaning on some of these frameworks and some of these models is that it does just that. And regardless of all of the Woo or all of the spirituality or any of the whatever that. You don't want to get into, , these things work, and so I think it's going to be valuable conversation for you.
[00:00:57] Hector: I will have to tell you, I fucked up again on the microphone. If you're catching the video, which you might be. I'm in my newly DI wide. Garage studio and, , when I was recording with Michael, it got the freaking wrong microphone, but it's too important of a, conversation to not put out. So, , we're gonna do our best and , hopefully you guys will still be able to get a ton out of it.
[00:01:20] Hector: But enough of me, y'all, let's get into today's episode with Michael for band.
About Modern Masculinity
Modern Masculinity explores the real-life challenges men face today — balancing work and family, being a good husband or father, and making sense of what it means to be a man right now. Honest conversations without the extremes.