Embracing Brokenness: Erik Hatch's Path to Connection and Community

[00:00:00] Hector: Mr. Eric Hatch, thank you for joining the Modern Masculinity Show. How are you?

[00:00:03] ERIK: beaming with joy that I get to hang with you, man. Thanks for the invite.

[00:00:06] Hector: I'm honored. And we got connected through a, a mutual buddy of ours, a previous guest and I believe it was Matt Han. Matt is someone who has come into my life and we had him on the show because he was a no-brainer, but he's really kind of stood out as those guys that, have kind of created a model a little bit, have kind of created a, you know, an example or something that, I can look to.

[00:00:24] Hector: And so anytime someone says to hop on and connect with somebody, I always take that opportunity. Eric, we always start off these shows with something that's real or present for you as a man. We mentioned before the recording that you've got a, six and an eight year old at home.

[00:00:39] Hector: You've got a business, you know you've got life. what's kind of real for you right now?

[00:00:42] ERIK: Oh boy. I found myself, about three or four months ago feeling more overwhelmed than I had in the last five years, and, went back to therapy. I hadn't been to therapy in 15 years and my gosh, has it been good? I've spent my whole life performing and achieving and growing and the opinions of others mattered on such a high level for me.

[00:01:05] ERIK: it's how I'm wired and unapologetically. So Ifound myself in the past apologizing, but I shouldn't apologize for how I'm wired, it's a compounding of daddy issues and abandonment issues and trying to. Prove and show that I'm of worth and that I am, worthy of love.

[00:01:18] ERIK: therapy is really challenging me. That, if I can find some peace and I can just be still, that I'm still enough. And that's really hard 'cause been doing my damn just to try to perform for forever. I wanna be clear, I like performing. I like chasing, I like hustling. It feels natural, but I'm freaking tired.

[00:01:34] ERIK: I'm tired of, being paper thin. I'm tired of not being enough, you know?

[00:01:38] Hector: Yeah, I don't know if it's Strictly a guy thing, but this external validation is something that I know guys deal with a lot. they try and get that validation from having the nice car or the biggest bank account or the, prettiest wife somehow women got on board with like the trophy wife thing, right?

[00:01:55] Hector: Like, there, you know, that we, looked for it. Outside of ourselves, and I've been struggling with this recently as well. So it's very prescient for me. Is there a solution? Do you have the an, you know, do you have the answer? Because it's so hard to all of a sudden go, you know, I'm not gonna seek my happiness or my validation from other people, from the bank account, from business or whatever.

[00:02:18] Hector: But to actually go in ourselves to find it. that has been challenging.

[00:02:21] ERIK: Yeah. you know, the meanest person I know is the one that stares back at me in the mirror, and so I have to be really careful at my self-talk, I have to understand that most people make their decisions based on what's best for them, not what's best for me. I. And so as an example, I had, back in November, I run a large real estate business and I had a bunch of my team members, that chose to leave and some kind of went out.

[00:02:43] ERIK: Guns a blaze and others went quietly. But I was left with this feeling of like, why am I not good enough for you? and that kind of feeling constantly rears its ugly head in my life. my therapist is challenging me to understand that, like, I don't need other people to tell me that I'm of worth, I need to feel of worth regardless of, and despite other people.

[00:03:02] ERIK: it comes back to that person in the mirror. And it comes back to what I say about myself, what I believe about myself. I'm learning that I'm really Uncomfortable, With rest, I don't know how to rest Well, And I don't have all the solutions yet.

[00:03:13] ERIK: I'm, in it right now. And I love the question of where am I at right now? Whatis the battle or the hill that I'm climbing? 'cause I, don't have all the solutions right now. talking about it is one of the first steps for me, actually having these conversations. And with some trusted, friends as well.

[00:03:27] ERIK: I'm bringing this up. My wife and I are unpacking this mightily, trying to figure out what does this mean? How do I feel? my wife is, an educator for the last 17 years. Taught first and third grade, and she just chose to step away this year. the whole world tells her that she's a teacher.

[00:03:42] ERIK: it's what she's always wanted to do. It was her calling in life. I. And stepping away while a whole bunch of other teachers are stepping away is riddled with guilt. our kids are at the school. my eight and six year old are at the same school that my wife teaches at. So she gets to see them every day.

[00:03:55] ERIK: And, it's just this compounding of, unfortunately, we've lived grown a big enough life now where my wife doesn't have to, provide financially for the family 'cause she needs to provide, in other ways as we all do. so she's going through this right now, feeling this, this guilt and this weight of like I'm supposed to.

[00:04:11] ERIK: and then there's almost this guilt and this weight of I have to. This label that we put on ourselves that she'll tell herself, I'm the teacher, I'm the educator. It's what I'm designed to do. And I'll tell myself, I'm the entrepreneur. I'm the risk taker, I'm the businessman. I'm designed to do all these things.

[00:04:25] ERIK: Or I'm the leader and I will give myself all these labels, but these labels, are what I do, but not who I am. And that's where I'm really trying to. Peel this off is to say to my wife, like, no, you're a child of God. you are a wife and you are a mother. And what we do professionally is simply the way in which we wanna serve the world.

[00:04:44] ERIK: And if you don't feel like you have a full cup, at the end of the day, my wife said the reason why she's leaving education is not 'cause she doesn't believe in the education system. It's because she wants to have a full cup. And what she was doing wasn't getting her there. I. So she had to break the narrative of the label that she's put on herself for 17 years.

[00:05:01] ERIK: And that is, that of teacher and educator. And now she has to lean into just being enough, just is the wrong word, but, it is the language she'll uses. She is enough regardless of if she's performing because she in fact needs to give more to herself and she wants to give more to myself and my kids.

[00:05:19] ERIK: And she's already a, great wife and a fabulous mom, but if she doesn't feel like. Her whole heart is able to commit to it. sometimes this charge. And so we're on the same parallel journey of trying to figure out that this world wants us to perform and this world wants us to have these labels.

[00:05:32] ERIK: And we have to be able to look at that person in the mirror and say with confidence, like, boy, I'm, I'm pretty comfortable with who that is. not because of, the awards and the glitz and the glamor, but because of the peace that we have where we find ourself in life. Even if it's not where we wanna be.

[00:05:46] ERIK: I.

[00:05:46] Hector: You know, one of the things that I think, I can only speak for myself, but I'd imagine that there was a lot of. from our, our parents and, and grandparents of, pushing us towards certain things.

[00:05:58] Hector: I remember my mom always saying, y you, you should be a lawyer. Right. Just 'cause I'd like to argue with her. I like to have my own say and, things, that were. Subtle but perhaps not so subtle because you come up with these, identities that are, are perhaps not based in like what you're talking about.

[00:06:12] Hector: They're not based in you, but they're based in, what other people have told you. to add to this, a lot of our listeners are, their thirties and forties, they've got young kids and, a lot of 'em, they, they succeeded at that first stage of life.

[00:06:24] Hector: You know, the single stage where they were winning in whatever kind of capacity that was. But then all of a sudden, you know, level two happens, and now they've got. Kids and wife and family and business, and they gotta take care of themselves. And now there's a, different level of range that's required.

[00:06:40] Hector: one route that happens that I went down, is we start to provide and we, neglect ourselves, we provide at kind of the detriment to ourselves even so much that what you're saying is like we could even lose. Of, who we are or why we're wanting to be. So I'm curious if that's kind of played out for you and, and if it's a recent phenomenon that you're kind of, struggling with, or if this has been something that you've been wrestling with, throughout the journey of life.

[00:07:05] ERIK: My most recent struggles are spinoffs of feeling rejected and feeling like I'm not good enough. And so I've had to peel the onion back quite a bit. And, I grew up in a single parent home. my mom was everything, but she also when I was 16 years old, got diagnosed with stage four cancer, and so I became her caretaker.

[00:07:24] ERIK: And then she passed away when I was 21. And my dad had abandoned my family when I was two. And so, I spent my whole life not with being told who I should be. my mom was, just supportive in whatever felt was my calling, but I felt like I had to perform to try to prove to the world that I was enough because I had rejection from my father.

[00:07:43] ERIK: when I really understand and peel back the layers of why I've been so recently complicated and why I've been, so emotional with this most recent ride is, that feeling of rejection, manifested itself into team members and, Business partners and things of, of folks just saying, Hey, I want to go my separate way.

[00:08:02] ERIK: And again, that was, if I can zoom out well enough, I'm like, Hey, that was what was best for them. Awesome. It had nothing like I gave them where I was at and they didn't want to grow with me, and they want to do their own thing. Like, okay, super cool. I can say that calmly, but internally I'm left feeling like I'm rejected by my father and I'm constantly trying to perform, saying, dad, dad, I'm good enough.

[00:08:20] ERIK: Don't you see me? I never had that voice from a parent saying who I needed to be. I saw and felt the rejection that I experienced, and, people would be like, oh man, losing your mom must've been the hardest thing ever. And it was world changing and completely crushing to be a 21 year old orphan was so emotional, and it taught me a million lessons, but it hurts only a fraction of what that daily rejection felt like.

[00:08:44] ERIK: he chose drugs and alcohol and other families, and, I wasn't enough. that narrative has played out in my mind, in which I've now overperformed, I've been trying to either disprove where my father is or try to earn his love. I don't know which one it is, but either way, it has left me, without rest.

[00:09:02] Hector: I just wanna honor and appreciate you for sharing that. for the guys listening, I think if they're here, they've already begun to do a little bit of the work, but one thing that's emerged through these conversations is how much guys for lack of a better term, just, pack it down or forget it, or, push it to the side, bottle it up, whatever analogy you want to use.

[00:09:23] Hector: And, they don't actually deal with the root problem. and they start trying to fix all these other symptoms that don't actually fix the root. for you, was there always kind of an awareness to that and, and did you see it manifesting in itself?

[00:09:36] Hector: Or, are you kind of looking back and now and realizing that this is where, some of these challenges are stemming from, and, I'd imagine you tried to put out some of these smaller fires and it kind of keeps coming back. things keep getting set on fire, I'd imagine. what's that been like for you?

[00:09:49] ERIK: As I'm going through therapy right now, I asked my wife a couple of weeks ago, I said, Emily, am I, have I always been this complicated? And she's like, yeah. I thought of myself as like this really simple OneNote kind of guy. I hustle, I work hard, I serve people. I try to love the world.

[00:10:03] ERIK: And like, that's it. But she's like, no, you're like, a rainbow of emotion and Hughes and swings I see it now, right? Hindsight's a pretty beautiful thing when I was in it early in my earlier days. Looking back, I can certainly understand why I was doing some things, but also I'll, I don't wanna minimize it too, like the idea of doing big things and taking big risks and serving the world and putting yourself out there.

[00:10:29] ERIK: Like I want to be the a plus number one supporter of those things. I think that we're called to impact. I think that we're called to do big things, but those are empty vessels. If I don't have peace, I set a statement at, one of my coaching masterminds. I have a, a, a coaching company in which we're, doing business coaching and consulting for a lot of realtors and mortgage lenders and that sort.

[00:10:47] ERIK: And we gathered together a couple of weeks ago, and I, I let it off by saying like, when I was young and naive and immature, I carried so much about awards and accolades and transaction counts, I wanted to be the top sales person like that, mattered so much to me. And I said, when I matured, I started to care about other things.

[00:11:04] ERIK: I cared about the money I made, and because that led to, freedom and impact so I cared about the money I made, and I cared about the impact I made on other people's lives. And I literally wrote a book on it, right? I wrote a book about servant leadership called Play for the Person Next to You.

[00:11:18] ERIK: And it's this idea of life is best lived when we're serving other people. And I still believe all that to be true,

[00:11:24] ERIK: but I'm recognizing as of recent, like, if I don't have peace, I. None of that matters. And if I don't have time, none of that matters. And I, I've been fortunate enough where I have not become a slave to my world.

[00:11:36] ERIK: cause I think, we're all in seasons, think that there's a season to hustle. There's a season to work. Your a hundred hour work weeks, there's a season to completely, reprioritize based on where that urgent action needs to be taken. I'm in a season now where I can slow down I'm 43 years old.

[00:11:53] ERIK: And, I could hang it up if I wanted to. I'm being challenged by my therapist to be like, Hey, slow down. Be still rest. He said, how do you rest? I'm like, I don't know rest. Like, it doesn't make any sense to me. Why would I rest? There's so much to do. There's so much impact to have and I'm like, man, the impact that I make in the world and the money that I have and the people that I serve and the difference that I can make, it all feels empty 'cause I don't have peace.

[00:12:13] ERIK: to your question, I'm seeing it now, but it's always been there. This feeling and this need of performing and seeking out other people's validation is just my big daddy issue.

[00:12:26] Hector: You know, one of the challenges that I would imagine you run into is When you, for lack of a better term, when you fix that problem, all of a sudden your identity is so shifted that imagine that there is such, an aversion to the ego, even though it's so painful sometimes to do that.

[00:12:44] Hector: It's so comfortable and so known for it that there's gotta be all this. I don't the word that is escaping me, but all of this resistance, if you will, to actually getting over it. I've found that in myself too, that I've dealt with, I. rejection issues. it's nothing in comparison. My, I professed my love to my third grade crush, one day after school. And she turned around and ran away in, tear. since then, I did a lot of thinking back and I was like, oh, that's when it started. You know, that's when I started thinking like, same thing.

[00:13:12] Hector: Am I enough? she liked my best friend at the time. She had a crush on him. And so there's all these, Played out the same way in high school. And, college, the whole thing. And so as I'm kind of trying to let a lot of that go, I'm having to, find out, well, if that's not me, who am I that's been an interesting discovery

[00:13:28] Hector: process,

[00:13:28] Hector: if you will.

[00:13:29] ERIK: yeah. I think if, someone out there right now is staring at and trying to figure out like, all right, well what does this, mean for me? if someone is trying to overcome this feeling of, am I enough? you asked a question a while ago and I don't know if I gave it a proper answer, and the question was, well, how do you feel like you're enough?

[00:13:48] ERIK: variation of that. And again, I don't have the answer, but I know that seeking outside validation will never give me that answer. I have to find a way in which, I have clear objectives, clear goals, a clear understanding of who I need to be in this world how I want to treat people.

[00:14:03] ERIK: And I'm trying to put more energy into being concerned with, how I am. Then what I do,

[00:14:10] ERIK: because think that if I can show up and, I'm comfortable in my own skin, I think that's a pretty contagious thing. I've always borderlined on self-deprecation for it. And putting myself down and being the butt of jokes.

[00:14:22] ERIK: I'm loud, I'm overweight, I'm bald. Those will be cornerstones of, having a couple of beers and me, ripping on myself. And I'm trying really hard to cut that language out if I label myself those things, even if it's in jest, My body doesn't know that I'm trying to just be sarcastic or I'm trying to be the funny guy.

[00:14:42] ERIK: And so instead I'm trying to, tell myself like, Hey man, you're, great at this. And my self-talk is important there. A YouTube video from years ago of this like sweet little three or four-year-old girl. And I know you have a, four-year-old kid right now, and they stand on top of the sink and in the mirror they tell themselves all these affirmations of why they're great.

[00:15:00] ERIK: Right? I can picture this girl, as I even, describe it. I look at that, I'm like, oh, that's so cool. That's such courage. Like, I wish I talked to myself that way. And, and I'm trying to start to talk to myself that way. I shouldn't even say try, like I am talking to myself that way where I'm acknowledging the good I'm pointing out positives because I don't always feel it's for damn sure.

[00:15:21] ERIK: but if I seek out the validation of other people, I'll never be enough. I'm tired of feeling that way.

[00:15:26] Hector: I heard somewhere, And they actually, I remember it was, it was Preston Smiles that was on his, on his page. he was saying that women, compliment each other a lot.

[00:15:34] Hector: Just yesterday, we were out someone came up to my wife and she said, oh, I love your boots. You know, and that's pretty common for women to go and, give compliments to each other. Whereas for guys, it's almost the opposite. we go out and we razz each other and, you know, no one's saying, oh, you know, great shoes, bro, I guess I did have a, good buddy who was like, well, it looks like your, you know, your arms aregot nice physique on your arm. He said something to that effect, but it was still kind of weird and he like fumbled through it and, and it was, you know, but to that point and I don't even know if it's natural, quote unquote, because, there's so much programming that's gone on that I'm not sure what's natural and what's programmed. But as a whole, we're not giving each other enough of these affirmations. We're not giving each other enough of these, compliments.

[00:16:16] Hector: We're not, telling each other that we are good enough because sometimes I found that It's hard, when things are going wrong and bad to pull that out of yourself. And so it helps to have someone, reaffirm that in in you.

[00:16:28] ERIK: I have a mentor, uh, his name's Raleigh and, he put out a writing earlier this week that talked about the importance of affirmations and the importance of that atta boys and acknowledging those things. And he's been in my life for a long time and taught me at a pretty early age that, if you see something great.

[00:16:47] ERIK: Tell something great it does no good for us to internalize those things. And, and I'm really, really good additioning it out to tell you like, Hey, man, sick hat. I love it. I'd come up to your wife and I'd tell her killer boots too, right? Like, that's not a discomfort for me. I don't do that for myself.

[00:17:03] ERIK: I was, and I wanna be clear on this. I was raised by a flock of women, right? My mom, my sister, my aunt. So I had four cousins. Three were female. and so I was raised by a flock of women, so much so that we went out to eat after church one Sunday, and my sister got a purse as a present.

[00:17:18] ERIK: And I'm like, why is Tanya getting a purse? This is bologna. Why? Why don't I get a present? And they're like, well, we're celebrating. I'm like, why are we celebrating? Well, my sister had her first period and the purse was filled with tampons. Like, that's the world I grew up in. Totally different than this like traditional masculine, environment.

[00:17:34] ERIK: So I learned really early on, maybe it was the women in my life, or maybe it was Raleigh as a mentor, but I learned to give compliments and to say something great when I see it, but I don't do it for myself. there's no patent on the back. it's really interesting, like we talk about being humble.

[00:17:48] ERIK: we think it's downplaying our strengths. And that's been a mistake of mine for a long time, is, you don't think less about yourself. You just think about yourself less. and I've thought less of myself for a long time that I, wasn't enough, that I wasn't worthy, that I had all these flaws.

[00:18:03] ERIK: And the flaws are, beautiful on other people, but they're treacherous, ugly on me. I'm doing my damnedest now to, try to break that language cycle because it hasn't been healthy.

[00:18:12] Hector: Yeah, well, one of the reasons that we have this show is that just in talking about it, I know that there's so many guys who are out there thinking, oh, I'm the same way, or I feel the same way, or I go through the same, you know, thing. and once again, as, a whole, men, and once again, we're, stereotyping here, but as a whole, they talk less about their problems than than women.

[00:18:29] Hector: So they have that outlet. And so we're just trying to, bring these conversations forth so that, people feel, a little bit more. not so weird or alone, right. That they're in solidarity. And what I've found, okay, so there's this journey of seeking external validation and I'm, looking right now at my sales trophy, and I have this big sword that I won from the, sales company.

[00:18:49] Hector: And my daughter came in and run out of things to give away, so

[00:18:52] ERIK: it, was it autographed by Randy Jackson?

[00:18:54] Hector: No, no. It was, a big all knights looking sore and everyone asks if it's sharp and if it was it, it would take someone's, torso

[00:19:01] Hector: off. But she she asked me and she said, why do you still have it? And I said, I said, oh, you know, I got it from a work competition. underneath it's like, why do I still have it? It's because, well, I'm trying to remember, or, validate myself, internally a little bit.

[00:19:14] Hector: So we go through these external challenges where we try and win the trophies. We get the cars, the girls, whatever it is. But then the next layer of it is, Well, let me do things for myself. So I've gotten really into, working out and, being on my habits and breath work and all these kinds of internal habits to try and, and, and after a while I realized that I'm just trying to once again justify my worth. That if I work out enough and I have low enough body fat percentage or, my habit. Score is high enough that I'm worthy, that I can feel, a certain type of way.

[00:19:44] Hector: And so that's where I'm at now, where it's like, in the times where I'm not able to work out or in the times where I'm not able to stay consistent, I find myself judging and I stuff by myself getting, down and I'm almost in that exact same place where I was before. It's just a different object.

[00:19:58] ERIK: I don't know how to break that. were you proud of the sales that you did and the success that you found?

[00:20:03] Hector: Yeah, for sure. In the moment,

[00:20:04] Hector: and I think that we need these things to push us and pull us, I found one of the things that you have to kind of get past, Once you stop coming from such a place of

[00:20:13] Hector: fear and scarcity is that you've actually gotta find a carrot to run to. And, and sometimes the carrots at least personal, the sticks sometimes are more motivating than the carrots

[00:20:23] Hector: or, they're more urgent there's relearning and how do you move towards something, not from a, place of anxiety or stress or dread, but to move towards it with, whatever's on the other side of it, which I've yet to kind of figure that out completely.

[00:20:36] ERIK: there's a book called The Four Disciplines of Execution and that talks about how to get the best performance out of yourself and team members. And one of the things they talk about is to have a visual scorecard. And those visual scorecards matter a lot in life and a lot in business. we always want to keep score, When my kids, started in rec league soccer and they're both pretty passionate about soccer now, but when they started in rec league soccer, it was like, we're just gonna have fun and we're not gonna keep score. That's what we tell the kids. Well, what do we do as parents? Oh, we're keeping score. Well, we're keeping score of, the actual scoreboard and how many shots our kids have and like how they play.

[00:21:13] ERIK: Like everything we do keeps score. Everything we do is a competition. everything we do measures. I think that's okay because it, it brings out the best in us. The piece that I'm left with is like, if I lose, am I still of worth? If I'm rejected, am I still of worth if I don't score, if I get cut, I.

[00:21:30] ERIK: Am I able to still hold my head up high? I was never the guy in college. If I asked out a girl and if she shot me down like your third grade story, I never was gonna rebound and be like, no big deal. I'll just go on to the next one. It was never that. It was curl up in the corner with my thumb and my mouth wondering why am I not good enough?

[00:21:47] ERIK: I don't have all the answers today, but I can certainly tell you that as I talk to some friends and share this, I'm fine and I'm not the only person that's, a giant ball of emotion and insecurity on this sort of stuff and it feels good to talk about. if somebody has a solution, please hit me up.

[00:22:01] ERIK: 'cause I'd love to figure out how to, feel like I am worthy, whether or not I perform or win.

[00:22:06] Hector: Well, I think it's so important. I've likened the idea of, and I have, once again, here's massive generalizations on this show, but it's my show, so. I've seen a lot of guys do is

[00:22:16] Hector: they pack down their emotions and it's years and years of packing down and packing down and packing down, and it's like, it's like what I would liken cement to. You know, that it gets so hard over time that to get in there and break it down, you've gotta really go in and do some work. It does some damage. It's painful. it's hurt, you know? That's required. Right? It's not like, we think that, you know, I, I say we, I thought that it was gonna be easy, and then I was realizing, no, you've got like 30 years of unpacking to do, it's not just the last two weeks or the last two months.

[00:22:47] Hector: So the last year, you know, or for all the amounts of time that we weren't doing the work, uh, you know, those things are still there. And, and I think that guys. They're not, they're not realizing that that rejection that happened to them whenever it was, or that loss or that failure that they never really dealt with, right.

[00:23:08] Hector: They, they just kind of pushed to the side, or, you know, threw into the back of their, their mind and kind of moved on that's a new concept that guys are thinking and we can get into however metaphysical and, you know, biological that those traumas are and such.

[00:23:20] Hector: And, we had a. I guess Ted Ranzo, he talked about how, how they're, they can trace diabetes back to the grandfather. Like they can literally see that trauma in the genetics in their body coming from two generations before. And so it's just, guys are waking up to the fact that we've got some, some work to do and that's okay.

[00:23:39] ERIK: We got a lot of work to do I'm not convinced that I'll ever turn off that need, that desire to be liked and appreciated by other people. I think it's in me forever. seeking out external validation has led me to some really great and impactful things in this world for me and for other people.

[00:23:55] ERIK: I'm just trying to change it from, A performance to a calling. they do it regardless of if anybody's in the crowd or not. And that's what I'm trying to figure out is how do I create and give and serve. Honor the validation that other people have given me in the past.

[00:24:13] ERIK: But, also if the room is silent,give a talk or if I, write something, like we all quickly run to our social media to see, well, I made this post. Let's see how many likes and comments and shares that I have. And that's like we're ingrained in this idea of seeking out external validation.

[00:24:30] ERIK: I wanna be okay looking. I still wanna post, I still wanna put out content and all that, but I wanna be okay looking and being like, oh, nobody liked it and that's okay. I'm still awesome

[00:24:38] ERIK: and I'm not there yet. That's for damn sure.

[00:24:40] Hector: Yeah. there might be only a few people. Maybe the Buddha got there. I don't know. Jesus too, I'm sure. Eric, this has been a, really cool conversation and I, appreciate it because didn't talk about like anything that you normally do.

[00:24:53] Hector: you're a real estate guy, you're, you're a coaching guy.

[00:24:55] Hector: So, tell us a little bit about what you're doing there and then, how people can get, connected

[00:25:00] Hector: with you

[00:25:00] ERIK: so I live in Fargo, North Dakota. but I have a real estate team that serves

[00:25:04] ERIK: all over North Dakota and Minnesota. And so we've been building up lives and helping people to have, big opportunities to change their stars. We've been doing that for about a decade now, and it's really fun. From there, we spawned off a coaching company 'cause we recognized that we were doing a uniquely a good job of helping people to not just have good lives, but to have great lives.

[00:25:23] ERIK: And we were helping people to, take better care of their clients and, helping them to redefine how they treated people. so from there, we started our coaching company a few years ago, and it's something I'm massively passionate about. And so I do business coaching and consulting for, most of my time.

[00:25:36] ERIK: I spend about 80 or 90% of my time in that. that's where I'm pouring into people and trying to give back trying to make a difference. And what's unique is, I feel irresponsible with the amount of trust. People put into me. 'cause I'm always like, man, if they, they knew how terrible my thoughts were and how insecure I was and all these other things.

[00:25:56] ERIK: if they knew all these things, there's no way they would follow me or there's no way they would listen to me. And I'm reminded every day like the greatest value I give as my brokenness and not my wholeness. Well, when we talk about our successes, it breeds competition, but when we talk about our brokenness, it creates community and connection.

[00:26:12] ERIK: So that's what I'm trying to lead with and lean on.

[00:26:16] Hector: So great. guys, just hopefully you come away and, and we went all over the place, but if nothing else,

[00:26:22] Hector: Thanks as always for sticking with us. We appreciate you being with us. If you got any value added today, we would love a rating or review wherever you get your podcast.

[00:26:29] Hector: If you know another guy who needs to hear this, please send him this and, go out and get connected with Eric uh, let's make a positive difference in the world. Thanks as always for being part of the tribe. Y'all. We'll see on the next one.