The Middle Class Is Running Out of Options with Dave Alexander

Amos [00:00:00] All right. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Why am I saying thank you? 'Cause I got my guy, Mr. Dave Alexander here again.

Dave Clap it up for me.

Amos Clap it up for me. We're clapping it up for him. Let's do it, right. Regular contributor to the show. love having him here. The conversations are exhilarating, they're fun, and they're down-to-earth, which I believe everyone's able to appreciate.

Amos today's topic is gonna be a great one. You're gonna start us off with a stat that you gave us today, actually-

Dave right ...

Amos so it, it works out very well. We're talking about money and family, or money and relationships really.

Amos That's a taboo topic, right, Dave?

Dave It's a, it's a tough topic to navigate for some people.

Dave Yeah. Sticky waters, right?

Amos Let's start with that stat, man. I, I, I think it's- ... very relevant.

Dave So as we was just mentioning to you- Yeah ... off-camera, right, they're saying, the home ownership rate in China is somewhere around 89.5%- Oh ... compared to 65% of Americans.

Amos Wait, real quick, sorry. I forgot to put on my hat.

Amos I didn't get a haircut. Am I [00:01:00] looking... Okay, cool. All right, let's keep going, let's keep going. All right. So, all right,

Dave so yeah. Right. So the, you know, one of the things I guess the, the Chinese teach their kids is ownership, right? When you look at that number, almost 90% of Chinese citizens own a home.

Amos C- like, can you imagine how big that number is?

Dave That's crazy.

Amos 90%. You know how many people live in China? You know how many citizens they have? Yeah. 90%- Percent ...

Dave own a home.

Amos That's wild.

Dave Compared to 65% here. And I feel,

Amos and I, I was saying it to you off-camera too, I wonder what it looks like when you start to break down the demographic in the US- Oh ... based on race or ethnicity.

Dave Well, you know who's the least, right? Yeah. we won't get into it- Wow ... but yeah, it's a staggering number.

Amos So now you take that data, what is it telling us, or what can we deduce from that data?

Dave I think it's what different- races or ethnicities are teaching their kids from a early on standpoint, right?

Dave Mm-hmm. What is important? Mm. Ownership.

Amos Mm-hmm.

Dave You wanna own, right? Yeah. I mean, I think it's the, the biggest thing [00:02:00] of you realizing, hey, I'm 18, 19, I wanna get my own place, and I wanna go pay somebody 1,500 a month and spend 90% of my paycheck- ... to start living on my own.

Amos Yeah, it's

Dave like-

Amos As- It d- doesn't give you the same- I'm

Dave independent

Dave cool

Amos factor anymore.

Dave Right. Yeah, yeah. Right, right. Yeah. As opposed to where you have backgrounds where kids are staying home. I mean, in the new American economy- Mm ... people are staying home well into their 30s, right? Correct. Because it's just- Correct, correct. Yeah ... too expensive. But, that wasn't always a thing.

Dave No. That's something that's been forced because it's like, I, I, I had a, a, a buddy of mine who recently bought a home maybe, like, two, three years ago.

Amos Mm-hmm.

Dave And was just like, "I'm done with my student loans." I was like, "What do you mean?" He's like, "Yeah, I got my house. I got a car. I don't need my credit."

Dave I say, "You're always gonna need your credit." Ooh.

Amos It don't work like that, guy.

Dave They will come back for their money. But, I understood to him, I understood what he was trying to say. And,he... We graduated, what, 20 something years ago. And at the time, his loan balance when he started out was, like, 83,000.

Dave And 20 years later of making payments, it was, like, [00:03:00] 73,000. He's like, "That don't make no sense." That's

Amos wild.

Dave So he called them up and negotiated a one-time pay of, like, 44,000.

Amos Mm-hmm.

Dave And, borrowed equity from his home. Mm-hmm. And was able to pay it off in one shot, but he saved himself 40 grand.

Amos That's crazy.

Dave You know what I mean? So it's just

Amos mindset. And now he's just paying it back to his house, paying it off.

Dave But if he didn't have a house that he owned, where would he borrow that money from?

Amos That's very true.

Amos So I think people are forgetting the value behind owning a home. Right. It's not just, "I have a home."

Amos It's also things like that where you can utilize your home to help you leverage for other investments. Correct. You know, there's often, there's something else going on. There's always a story behind the story, right? Yeah. So as we talk about,homeownership and the relationship within Americans, you have to always look at where investment money is going.

Amos So if you look at what BlackRock's been doing and all the other PE firms have been doing, they've been buying a lot of the old project buildings. Oh, wow. Turning them into the [00:04:00] condominiums, getting all the tax abatements. They're

Dave buying blocks at a time.

Amos Blocks at a time. Yeah. I'm talking about one unit has over a thousand-

Dave Parcels at a time, just-

Amos Juh- juh- just like that, right?

Amos Over 1,000 units. so a friend of mine said, another financial advisor, and I love the fact that he said it. We were sitting at a, cafe in Miami. we just finished touring a place to buy. And across the street from the, the unit we were gonna buy-

Dave Yeah ...

Amos this massive building, I don't know if it's BlackRock that owns it.

Amos One of these, REITs owns it. And we said, "This is what's happening."

Dave Yeah.

Amos They're all buying up all the buildings, all the properties, the land, and we're, we're going into a- Renter ... country. Go. Yeah. A renter's country.

Dave A subscription base to live. Yeah. Let's just call it that.

Amos Yeah.

Dave That's what it is.

Amos Keeping people, and honestly, at that point, you, people understand how dangerous that is. Because at that point, they control-

Dave Everything ...

Amos everything.

Dave Yeah.

Amos You can't say, "You know what? Your rent is too high. I'ma [00:05:00] go down the block." No. Nah. We've elevated- I own the whole

Dave block ...

Amos I own the whole block.

Dave All of this is me.

Dave This is the going rate.

Amos And even if I don't own the block, you can go to the next block, and the people that own that block- Is the same

Dave mindset ...

Amos are charging top... Same mindset. So what happens at that point? You can't move state to state to state to state. At some point, it catches up with you.

Dave Right. It's-

Amos Then you have to move countries.

Dave It's, well, a lot of people are doing that, too, right? Is

Amos that real? Is, are we really having such a mass exodus, or are people just talking the game?

Dave I think that we're watching the great dynasty of what is America crumble in real time. You

Amos think so?

Dave all great dynasties crumble at some point. Go back to the Romans.

Dave It, it's a cycle of history. We've had a great run, but when you print the money we've printed and the debt that we've acquired, either we're gonna go through this global reset-

Amos Uh-huh ...

Dave or we're gonna crumble.

Amos It's interest- you think we're have, we're looking at a global crum- at, at, at the crumble of the US dynasty?

Amos That's interesting.

Dave I mean, it's, it's happening in real time. Mm-hmm. We talk, we [00:06:00] spoke about BRICS-

Amos Yeah, yeah ...

Dave and all these other nations not using the dollar. That just, weakens our position.

Amos Okay.

Dave Right?

Amos Fair, fair argument. That's fair.

Dave So we don't ha- we don't run the board like we used to.

Amos So interesting.

Amos I feel like other countries have merged for power. Right. Right? To gain some type of leverage. Are we seeing the crumble or are we seeing the next evolution? That's the way I see it.

Dave A- again, that's a, a, a more than honest assessment or view.

Amos Okay.

Dave either which way, the dollar is losing power in real time as we speak.

Amos That's so interesting.

Dave Right?

Amos A lot, a lot of, financial experts will say the same. There is so- those that would, counter that as well, but I could see the argument for both. Now bringing it back to the families, right? Right. We started off with the stat, and I think that's important because it goes back to what you said at be- the beginning, the conversations people are having where their kids are.

Amos Right? It, we're talking all races, all- Everything ... ethnicities right now- Yeah ... in the US. Are we [00:07:00] having those conversations with our kids and loved ones about home ownership and the importance of your relationship with money? Are we d- is it still taboo? Are parents still not telling their kids?

Dave It's still taboo.

Amos It's just so wild to me.

Dave It's just the truth. I mean, again, it goes back to what we were talking about a few episodes ago. it's people's relationship with money, and if you don't have anyone that understands it truly, who do you go to? It's the same conversation.

Amos But the conversations I guess aren't even happening, and I think that's probably what the biggest challenge is.

Dave So how do, how do you talk about home ownership if your, last six generations of family have lived in apartments?

Amos Aside from the obvious, have the conversation, and here's why- Who do you go

Dave to?

Amos Well, I guess what type of conversation are we having? The, "It's important for you to have home ownership. I couldn't do it, but we've done all this we [00:08:00] can for you to have a better life so that you can own a home." Is that the conversation, or is it how do you actually purchase a home?

Amos 'Cause that's, those are two separate conversations.

Dave How do you have a conversation about something that you've never done

Amos yourself? Haven't

Dave done

Amos before.

Dave Right? So if, if you weren't managing money, how could you tell someone... You know, some people are naturally good with money, right? Mm-hmm. That, that's, they just have that, that gift.

Amos Yeah.

Dave They get it, and some people struggle with it. Mm-hmm. But if you weren't a licensed advisor, how could you truly, would you truly feel comfortable advising somebody on what to do with their money?

Amos I would only talk to people within my close circle, my kids, and my siblings.

Dave But because of your expertise, you could sit here on camera-

Amos And talk to anyone-

Dave Right?

Dave and everyone. Yeah. So, so that's the thing is, like, parents probably are like, "I've never even applied to find out what I could afford for a home." Well, yeah. But- "How am I gonna tell this kid what to do to go get a home?"

Amos That's fair, but it goes back to what we said, you alluded to the [00:09:00] prior episodes, which is, if you don't have people in your circle-

Dave Reach out

Amos reach out and go find people. I remember the first time I purchased a property- I didn't really have anyone to talk To guide you. Yeah. You know what I mean? So-

Dave But, but you had a bank that you could go to and inquire, right?

Amos Honestly, you know what I did? I read a lot of books. I, I knew a lot of advisors that had properties, so I picked their brains, but they would only give me but so much information.

Dave 'cause information isn't free. It is online. But when it comes from someone who's- Yeah ... took years to learn it, you gotta-

Amos Yeah,

Dave yeah ... you have to pay for that.

Amos Somehow you pay for it. Somehow. And, so I just took the education from there, and then, honestly, man, I was, like, using the, the realtor.

Amos I think he, he introduced me to the, to the broker, and- Right ... I'm going back and forth.

Amos It wasn't the best experience. But, you know, it's one of the things. F- question out there.

Background you're gonna edit. Yeah,

Amos yeah. We got this part. All right. Yeah. This part we'll edit.

Background All right, cool. This part- Just

Amos for you, you know.

Background Tight. I think you should mention that you're gonna probably fall on your [00:10:00] face at some point. Okay.

Amos The first

Background time. The first thing you do. yeah. So-

Dave When you first buy a house, you're house poor. No one talks about that. Everyone talks about, you know- Back- ... owning a home ...

Amos this, this, this part going forward should be- Yeah

Amos back on the- Yeah ... actual podcast. Mm-hmm. Ready, go.

Dave Right. So when you think about buying a home, you're saying get the information. Mm. Some of the things that people never talk about is being house poor for the first few years.

Amos What does house poor really mean?

Dave It means you spent everything to acquire-

Dave the American dream.

Amos Yeah.

Dave And you are, your savings is like, let me check before I swipe my card- Yeah. ... is what it means. Right? That one. And, and it's like- That was real ... hey, where y'all going? No, no, no. We're, we're at home tonight. Yeah.

Amos You don't wanna just order the food in?

Dave We're right here. We're right here.

Dave We're not, no, we're not, we're not gonna do that- Chick-fil-A delivers ... for the next six months. So- That

Amos is true. but I, I, at the same time, man, I feel like a lot of it has to do with, I don't, I, I don't-

Dave That's not money management. That's making the biggest purchase [00:11:00] for most people in their life.

Amos But that's the thing, though, right? Okay, it's one thing when you have a property that meets the criteria, meets the specs, and you have to move on it.

Dave Mm-hmm.

Amos Right? And that has been the environment we've been in, and it looks like we're, de- depending on which state, we're shifting into a buyer's market again, right?

Dave Well, rates are coming down, so that's

Amos why. Yeah. There you go. So that's one thing there, but reality is, I mean, when you put together your budget and you know what you're gonna spend and so forth, you also have to realize you need to furnish the home at some point, and you still need to have some reserves, 'cause God forbid, I mean, any good broker should be telling you have at least an extra 10% on the side.

Dave But that's the thing. They can tell you that. Again, it goes back to how we started the show. How was your relationship with money?

Amos That is the thing. So a lot of brokers should probably be doing that, making sure that-

Dave They're not advisors ...

Amos they're not advisors, true, but they could also prevent the default rates.

Amos But then the banks don't care 'cause they sell the loans anyway.

Dave It doesn't matter, right? I think that- Mm ... that, again, your [00:12:00] relationship- Good point ... with money-

Amos Good point ...

Dave will tell you. I think everybody wants to get this house and get it fully furnished-

Amos ...

Dave so they can have people over and, "Hey, welcome to my home."

Amos Mm.

Dave Right? And sometimes people need to realize that may take 18 months to happen. Correct. It necessarily doesn't have to happen within- Right ... the first 90 days.

Amos Correct.

Dave But we live in an instant gratification place, right? So even if I don't have it, I could just finance these couches on Affirm, and they'll be here today.

Dave It's only 200 bucks a month for the next 36 months.

Amos And that's a dangerous game, the whole financing thing. Like as long as I, I- within a certain dollar amount, I could keep financing. But those bills keep coming-

Dave I think what, what- ... until you pay them off ... makes it so attractive is, like, it almost feels like you're barely paying interest with Affirm

Amos It

Dave does feel like- It's, it's like 5,000, you pay back like 5,400.

Dave You're like, "Psh," that's a no-brainer

Amos That's very fair.

Amos is the, I get to use it now. Now. So I pay the extra $400 to use it now?

Dave Right. [00:13:00] and think about that- Yeah ... right? in today's mindset it's like, pull the trigger, let's go. I'm not thinking twice about it. It's now. It's like the

Amos better version of layaway.

Dave It's the- What layaway should have been ... the improved, right.

Amos Yeah.

Dave Yeah. Right. You know what I mean? but I think layaway was better because you had to work and wait to get it. There was a satisfaction knowing, hey, I have scratched that off the list.

Amos Yeah. It's already, got it. I've already paid for it. It's not a payment.

Amos So I gotta ask you now, wh- which you're saying is having the conversation. How do you recommend having the conversations in the families? 'Cause now we're talking about that. How do we have these conversations?

Dave I think it's the same thing. it's what do you want your child to know beside what school teaches them?

Amos Mm-hmm.

Dave Right? So you're gonna give your child morals, you're gonna give them the values, and you're gonna give them a home education.

Dave Right? So I want my son to understand that the world is, doesn't care how you feel, it's not a fair place.

Background That's very true.

Dave A- Very true ... and these are the things you need to understand about life.

Dave Right? I saw, a picture and we can share it with the audience, and it was the different class systems and their education. So like [00:14:00] poor people- Oh,

Amos man. I love that. Go

Dave ahead ... worked for money.

Amos Yeah.

Dave The middle-class tried to manage it, and the wealthy had their money work for them. And then when it came to education, it was like the wealthy used their connections.

Amos Yeah.

Dave And the middle class is like, go to school," right? The wealthy's like, "Yo, just use your contacts- Connect, yeah ... your neighbors. That job will be there," right? So it's just this, there's a different mindset depending on where you're at financially. It's just the truth. It doesn't mean because, you know, you have X amount of dollars you may be a better person than this person.

Dave No, no. But it's how you look at a problem to s- find the solution. And some people don't see a problem, they only look to find the solution. Yeah. And some people see everything as a problem. It's all your mindset.

Amos I love that, man. It's, it's funny. so one of the businesses we owned, I, I remember saying it, to my wife at the time, "It's frustrating because all y'all are bringing me are problems."

Amos "Don't bring me the problem. Bring me the problem with your suggested solutions."

Dave No, but not

Amos everybody's-

Dave And- ... brain works that

Amos way ... not everybody's brain works, and that's something I try to coach them in. So I, I wanna [00:15:00] go to that because I think that's key. So I remember, if possible, and this is gonna be a weird statement, but if possible, everyone should have a very wealthy friend.

Dave Yeah.

Amos Everyone needs that. Not for, you know, stunting or whatever it is, but what you will hear them say, what they will talk about, the way they think is a little different. So I remember a thing for me was, and then think about this. Like him or not, Trump, his kids are grown now, right?

Amos Right. I think. But he wasn't raising his kids to go work.

Dave No. For nobody.

Amos At no one. You know what I mean? They, he was raising his kids to either take over his empires- Mm-hmm ... start another empire, or run one of the ventures he was planning to do.

Dave I-

Amos How many people actually bring their children

Background With

Amos that mentality

Dave I, I think here's the thing.

Dave His son, Barron- Mm ... is worth $80 million-

Amos Wild ...

Dave at 19 years old-

Amos Wild ...

Dave with crypto. What that family's done is amazing, right? but also I think-

Amos This is wild. That's crazy. [00:16:00] That's crazy ...

Dave I think based on the background of the family- Mm ... and the ethnicity, you're trained to grow up a certain way.

Amos Okay.

Dave Right? So a lot of parents are like, "We didn't have much.

Dave You're gonna be a doctor or lawyer, and that's- ... you're gonna make money-

Amos ...

Dave and people are gonna respect you."

Amos Mm-hmm.

Dave where maybe in the Asian background, it's you need to own your own business. Mm-hmm. You need to be self-sufficient. Find a way to generate your own money as opposed to going to work for somebody.

Dave So I think it's, it's really, again, your family-

Amos Yeah ...

Dave determines where you start off. Mm-hmm. Right? I think, like, for me and you, we're up here talking, and you have years of experience in finance, and obviously we've had, tons of clients that are wealthy- Mm ... who have become friends. Yeah. Yeah. So it's obviously shaped the way we're able to think- You think and all that, yeah

Dave and, and, and, you know, make decisions. But we didn't grow up with rich friends. Not

Amos even close.

Dave Right? So- Not

Amos even

Dave close ... it's like, it's about you seeing the better version of yourself-

Amos ...

Dave and then actually putting in [00:17:00] the work to become that person.

Amos We ne- I think we need a program that kinda gets those conversations started.

Amos Even if it's, like, a game. I'm giving ideas here, but, you know, where you have the book, obviously this is an intro to the conversation-

Dave Right ...

Amos with family, right? Even having, you know, they have, the Cards Against Humanity- Mm-hmm ... and other things. Having games like that where

Dave families can do-

Amos They do ... Oh, they do already?

Dave Oh, wow ... they do. There's a, there's a game called Charge Large. I know through the guy's son that made it. Okay. And you start off with, like, a, a gold card. You have to acquire debt and pay it off to move up to a platinum card.

Amos Okay.

Dave And I think it's the first person to a, a, a black card wins, but you have to go through acquiring debt, so it shows you what it's like-

Amos Your relationship with debt

Dave to get to the next level.

Amos That i- that is brilliant. What's it called?

Dave Charge Large.

Amos Charge Large. All right. I'm gonna take a look at that.

Dave I have it. I, I'll bring it over. We should do it- ... we should do it one time, but-

Amos I, I love it ...

Dave it's Monopoly on steroids. But think about it, Monopoly does show that.

Amos Monopoly does show that. I was playing it recently with my kids, [00:18:00] and I was thinking to myself, "

Dave This game-

Amos This is it ... is

Dave amazing." Right. So in, in, in layman's terms, what I told Carson was, like, if you look at Monopoly, if you just work for somebody- Mm-hmm ... if you don't make any investments, you just get $200 for the week, and you just keep paying everybody.

Dave You, you go

Amos over here, and you keep landing on someone else's

Dave property- And paying them ... and you keep paying them. And it's like... So it just shows you the importance- ... of ownership, and it's so simple. But

Amos it, but here's the thing, Don, this goes back to what I've been saying. Success leaves clues. And it's not a secret, bro.

Amos These aren't breadcrumbs. These are bread pieces. These are loaves of bread, but we're not seeing them for what they are. Monopoly has been around for how long? Who didn't play that as a child? Yeah, yeah. I, I loved that game as a child.

Dave It's been around way longer than, than when we were kids.

Amos And yet we're not getting it.

Amos It's a game that, oh my days- But, but- ... this is actually showing... 'Cause I, I didn't think about it until recently when I was playing it.

Dave Yeah. but I think though, like, you gotta look at America as a whole and say, all right, did we not wanna be homeowners, or we were [00:19:00] excluded from that?

Amos I'm gonna say to you, I understand the argument before when it was yes.

Amos We weren't... A- and we're talking about a specific demographic. Right. The Black community or different demographics that were,

Dave Boxed

Amos out ... they, they were boxed out, lack of better words.

Amos I understand that, and I understood that, but in this day and age...

Dave But the mindset hasn't changed.

Dave If, if again, if we're- 50 years of families living in the same apartment unit, and no one has owned a home. How can that mindset evolve?

Amos No, no, you're very right. You're very right. And once again, I think it's, it's due, it's up to the people that want to better themselves to go out there and do better.

Amos But then the argument would be, how do you know you could do better? And I would say, "It is, it is. You don't

Dave know you could do better." So, so I'll flip it, right?

Amos Mm-hmm.

Dave Carson was playing basketball when he was younger.

Dave And I'm like, "Man, you gotta, like, you gotta work."

Dave Right? You gotta work at the craft if you wanna be that guy.

Dave Yeah. And he's like, "Yeah, yeah." [00:20:00] I'm like, "Carson, you don't understand." And I get it. You're growing up-

Amos ...

Dave with a basketball hoop and blacktop in your backyard and a pool.

Dave I said, "Right now, there's a kid in 4E that's dribbling like this." From

Amos 4E.

Dave And, and his whole family's like, "He's gonna get us out of here."

Dave Yeah. He's

Amos gonna make it. And he is. He's gonna make it. Yeah, yeah. '

Dave Cause it's, it's, he's dribbling as me and you are speaking. Yeah. He's like this. That ball- He's still dribbling right now. Yeah ... right now, right? So it's a different, a different drive, right? Mm-hmm. So it's, it's like his mindset to make it on that because he sees that as an opportunity- to change everything at seven, eight years old.

Amos That's Carson or the other kid?

Dave The other kid. Carson's like, "Yeah, I'll put up shots-

Amos ...

Dave if I want to." Like, it's, "My backyard is right there." The other kid's like, "I gotta walk a block or two to get to the park, but I don't care if it's raining."

Amos I'm

Dave putting- "I gotta go get my 100 shots up today."

Amos Yeah.

Dave Right? And then when I get back in the crib, I'm just like this.

Amos But I guess what that's teaching is work ethic, which is, is good for that kid. For Carson, it's... And Carson's a solid kid, so.

Dave [00:21:00] No, right. Nothing against him. H- his interests are in different places. Yeah. But what I'm saying is-

Amos Yeah ...

Dave it, and it's like, it's a different pressure on that kid already, too.

Amos And it kind of forces you to grow up much quicker

Dave than the- And to take it s- Yeah ... take that very seriously. And it's- If you have the skillset, if you're performing better than your peers at that age, and they're telling you you have a chance, then you have to take it very seriously.

Amos But it is cr- it's creating discipline, right?

Amos Which is why a lot of sales positions, a lot of high-end sales positions look for people that were athletes, because they understand what that discipline was.

Dave I, I think it's a athletic... I say this all the time to the parents at my kids' practices. I'm not banking on my kids to go pro. Yeah. If it does happen, then great.

Dave Right? But that doesn't-

Amos Doesn't change your

Dave life ... my life, right?

Amos yeah.

Dave but what I want my kids to get from it is the athletic mindset of life is going to knock you down at some point.

Amos yeah.

Dave Right? Mm-hmm. No matter how well you do it, you always have highs, you have lows. And like I [00:22:00] tell Carson, I say, "You see that guy that's on the corner drinking a beer-

Amos at 12:00 in the afternoon? Life knocked him down and he couldn't get back up."

Amos Yeah.

Dave I'm not raising you- Oh, man ... to let that happen to

Amos you. That's real life. That is real life.

Dave So it's like that's the thing, the mindset as an athlete is like, hey, the fourth quarter's coming on.

Amos Yeah.

Dave I'm getting blown out in life right now.

Dave Yeah. I'm down. Life is 60 to 25. I gotta get back in the game.

Amos As long as like I'm willing to keep playing, I'm going overtime.

Amos We can do this.

Dave As long as I'm willing to keep playing. Yeah. But not everybody has that drive. Which- But athletes do ...

Amos which is fair. Right. So I'm bringing it back to the families and the relationships with money.

Amos If you replay back this tape, you're seeing certain clues here, right? Right. where you grew up shapes your attitude to money, like your immediate family, right? Your friends- Right ... shape your attitude to money. If you go to an environment where other kids around you are coming from a different environment, which some kids do get the opportunity, right?

Amos You grow up in certain places, but you end up getting a scholarship at a very nice private school- Yeah ... or whatever it is, maybe for sports, [00:23:00] whatever, right? Yeah. So that will open your eyes to a different way the world works. Without

Dave a doubt.

Amos Also, social media nonstop shows you different ways life works, but it doesn't always show you how people got there.

Amos here's the

Dave thing. it's not fair- Mm-hmm ... because you're only seeing the best minute of everybody's... You're seeing a highlight reel.

Amos Man, let me te- I say this, Chris, man, all the time, man. and anyone that's worked with me over the years, that started off with me as an intern, right, I say to you all the time, "What you lot are seeing is over a decade's worth of grueling, nonstop bah, bah, bah."

Amos And it's funny, I would tell people what I used to do when I first started, and I would see them, "Oh my gosh." But in my mind, I was wondering, "Do you really believe me though?"

Dave No, 'cause they didn't see the struggle.

Amos They didn't see it, right? And all you see is the nice, nice, nice, nice life. They,

Dave they, they don't see the check that comes in and it's, like, $400 after tax when you start.

Amos Or the zero. How about the [00:24:00] zeros every week?

Dave Right?

Amos They used to get

Dave that. nobody, nobody sees that. They see the finished product. They do. So if you're on social media now, it's like, "Man, he always had it."

Amos Yeah.

Dave It's like- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ... nah, I didn't. Right? I definitely didn't. I was- Yeah ... I was struggling for a long time.

Dave For a little, for a little while. Right? Like, but, I stuck it through.

Amos Mm-hmm.

Dave And I was able to see it, to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But it's unfortunate. Like, I just think society is raising weak-minded people.

Amos Oh, man. Let's, let's, let's-

Dave You know what I

Amos mean? We're gonna end on this, because this is very important when it comes to money and our relationship with money.

Amos So go ahead, man.

Dave relationships with money, I...

Amos society is raising weak-minded people. Talk to me about

Dave that. So, so I'm not a big fan of the, everybody gets a trophy.

Amos Man, the participation trophies.

Dave Right? Like, that's not real life. That's not real life. Right? So I'm, I'm more a Joe Jackson. We came in second, we're leaving the TV there.[00:25:00]

Dave Right? So, you know, like, they, like, so this is a true story. You- Stop it. Stop it ... you, you gotta make it to see a soccer game. Oh. So my daughter had a soccer game this Saturday-

Amos Oh, great ...

Dave in, in Syosset, and she didn't score. I can't believe this. They lost, and to me, she had a bad game.

Amos Okay.

Dave So- Oh, man

Dave all the parents are like, you know, "Good job, girls. You played so good," and I'm walking back to the car with Sia, and I'm giving Sia-

Amos Yeah. ... an earful,

Dave right? Me too. 'Cause I'm like, I'm happy that her teammates scored, but I'm like, "I put you in the position to score." Yeah. "I told you where to stand, and you weren't e- like, where's your head at?"

Dave And she's looking at me, and the parents are looking, I'm like, "Where... When you're on that field, the only thing that matters is playing." I said, "You were skipping around. We're not here skipping around. Putting the work to not score."

Amos That's tough.

Dave So she's like- That's tough

Amos coaching, bro.

Dave And it's like, but you know, I get- Tough love

Dave all the other parents are like, good game," and I'm not, listen, I'm not judging- Mm-hmm ... how you parent your kids. I just know that, again, life is tough. Life is tough. [00:26:00] So I'm, I'm not gonna prop my daughter up when she had a chance to score two goals. She had a chance to score the tie g- the game-tying goal, and she just missed the ball.

Dave And I, I literally, it was a free kick. I literally said, "Sia, you stand right here. The ball is coming to you." Mm. And the ball bounced. It came right to her, and she didn't get it in the net at the end of the day. So you know- Yeah ... it is what it is. That's tough. that's a... But I need her to understand that lesson and that loss by not being prepared.

Dave I'm not gonna pat her on her butt and tell her she did great, because she needs to realize, I missed that goal, and my dad did put me in the situation to win. Mm. Right? How many parents can say that they're honestly doing that for their kids in every aspect of their life to set them up to win? When you do, like you said, relationships with money, whether it be 529, whether it be, insurance, whether it be a brokerage account.

Dave That is setting your kid up to win in life, and they don't even know it, and that's the only responsibility I feel you have as a parent.

Dave Right? So, [00:27:00] like, I'm gonna do that to the best of my ability in every aspect of my kid's life that I can. And I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, boy or girl

Amos So is that how you're preventing like a weaker mindset?

Dave Yeah, because it's, it's... If she was in the car, and guess what? It was a silent ride home.

Dave There's nothing to celebrate. We lost.

Amos You know, you know, it's interesting, right? As you're saying this, what's running through my head, right? All the people are gonna say toxic, parenting and blah, blah, blah, blah, all that.

Amos And this isn't a parenting podcast. But what you're saying is true because you have to understand the actual feeling of rejection, the actual feeling of a loss. Right. I don't mean like people, but a loss of something you want. And it allows you to question my commitment to this thing. Is this really what I really wanna do?

Amos Right. Like, am I, is my head not really here anymore? Correct. Do I need to focus on... But, like, the earlier you can kind of understand this as a person, the better it is for you as an [00:28:00] adult man.

Dave You need it.

Amos Rejection is real.

Dave She felt it, and, and it was just like, you know, we got home. She got changed, took a shower.

Dave We laid down. We watched a movie together. I ordered food for us. I comforted my daughter, right? But I needed her to feel that low.

Amos Yeah.

Dave And then we build it back up and say, "It's okay."

Amos That's so

Dave interesting. "You're gonna make the play next game."

Amos That's so... So it's, it's funny because the way you're describing it, it's still, it's all intertwined in how we see money.

Amos Right? It's similar attitude. How you do anything is how you do everything, actually. Correct. I'm guessing if it was a money decision and she made a wild decision, you would be able to. You'd give her the same energy.

Dave Correct.

Amos And I've, I, I've spoken to you plenty of times about when you don't...

Amos You're nonstop about how good of a player she is.

Amos So, and I'm a big believer of if I'm your biggest cheerleader, I'm also gonna be your biggest critic too. Your biggest critic. Like, hands down. You're not gonna get one way and not the other. It is what it is. So I, I find it interesting. And, and it's so [00:29:00] funny, the fact that we're in a world now where a lot of people will say to you that's, toxic parenting is also the issue because that's just one side of it.

Dave So I, I... Here's, here's a flip side.

Amos Yeah.

Dave Noah, my youngest- wanted to learn how to ride a bike. I'm-

Amos Okay, I'm on,

Dave on- I'm busy ... that

Amos page right now with the kids.

Dave Yeah,

Amos yeah.

Dave This guy goes outside and teaches himself how to ride a bike. That's commitment. No training wheels.

Amos That's

Dave commitment. Calls me from, "Dad, I figured it out."

Dave I'm talking to my li- He's like, he told his mom, he goes, "Dad said he was coming 20 minutes ago. I can't wait anymore." She goes, "All right, go outside." So Sia still can't ride a bike, and my nephew is older than both of them, and he can't ride yet. Oh, man. So they're looking at Noah. Noah's riding laps around the block on a bike.

Amos But why does he wanna learn to ride a bike? Why did he wanna learn to ride a bike?

Dave What happened? ... they said they were gonna do it this summer. It was a goal that they- Ah ... set. And,my, my brother-in-law, you know, he breeds competition amongst the kids, and he was like, "The first person to be able to do it will get X, Y, Z."

Dave And, and Noah being the youngest, he was like, "I'm [00:30:00] gonna teach myself." So that's what I mean by weak-minded. Like, I didn't get there in 20 minutes. Mm-hmm. You, I, you know, I was on a laptop- Mm-hmm ... doing something. My son- He went out and did it ... went outside, did it. I came outside half hour later, this kid taught himself how to ride a two-wheel bike, no training wheels, by himself.

Amos That's amazing. I feel like I gotta shout out my kids as well.

Dave Yeah.

Amos But no, I mean, as you were saying it, it just made me think about it. So I was away, this weekend, and, thought, talked to my kids every day. And,my son had a soccer game-

Dave Right ...

Amos on Saturday. And, let's just say he's not a very active player, but he's the youngest person on the field.

Dave Okay.

Amos But the tallest by a mile.

Dave Right, right, right.

Amos So there's a lot of things that he can do. Right. Plus, he's probably the fastest kid there. But he's just like, "What the hell are we doing?"

Dave Yeah.

Amos Now he knows how to kick.

Dave Right.

Amos So anyway, he says to me, "Daddy-" when you come back, can we practice outside? 'Cause he's like, "All right, this is the second game, second training.[00:31:00]

Amos I'm out here in the cold. What we doing here?"

Amos Right, like- Right ... 'cause he, he's never really played team sports. Right, right. Right? So as you're saying that, I'm thinking, "So today, I'm leaving early."

Dave To

Amos go. "We're going outside, and we're kicking ball, and I'm gonna teach him some drills," 'cause he could play, he could run rings around everyone else.

Dave But that's it. But he asked you.

Amos But he asked me, and that was the thing because right now we're figuring out basketball, soccer or football. He prefers to play basketball, but he's never really played basketball. Right. So I'm like, look, play everything- Right ... you can figure it out.

Dave Right.

Amos But the fact that I didn't wanna push him.

Dave You don't. You know? But he, he wanted to you. He wanted it to you. And

Amos that's

Dave key. I think also noticing what they're good at. Like, Noah- Yeah ... was playing soccer, and he was tackling everybody. And I was like, "You're playing the wrong sport." Yeah. I put him in football. Yeah, yeah. He scored three touchdowns this season.

Dave I was like, "Yeah, thank you." And now he's in. I wanna play here. Yeah. Right? So it's like... and he is about the action. Yeah. As far as the hitting aspect of it, loves it. he's doing wrestling things- My kid's tough ... and kids' faces after he puts you to the floor, like-

Amos He's an NFL type of player.

Dave So, [00:32:00] like-

Amos Contact sport

Dave love it. Yeah. L- he loves that, so it's, like, also pivoting to what they're good at, right? Like, I think so many times you want your kids to be like you. Like, I would've loved for Carson to play football, and, you know, I got pictures of him on Facebook when he's, like, Noah's age holding a football- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dave doing a Heisman pose. And I'm like, "He's gonna be a Heisman player," and he's the furthest thing from an athlete, right? Yeah. But that's okay. Like, he's good at other things, and I support him in those things. But I think when your kids ask you, they show an interest, and you gotta show up and, like, and that's what you're doing.

Amos I, I, I love that 'cause now you made me think back on things. I'm very big on that. From early, I've been trying to pay attention to what my kids are really good at. And what, not just good at, but they enjoy. Right. Right? So my son with the numbers and so forth. It's funny, we went to one of these kids whatever it is, play areas, and all the kids are going down the slide, building blocks.

Amos Then my son got, hmm, got five kids, including his younger brother, to build a wall [00:33:00] so that no one else could get on the slides. So the kids went from, "I wanna go on the slides" to "Go get the brick." And he had an assembly line of kids, so by the time he got up- That's a natural-born

Dave leader ...

Amos on top, I was like, "Man."

Amos I recorded the whole thing. I was like- But you

Dave see it ...

Amos but I s- so what have we been doing is putting him in positions where he can, lead, but he can also understand how to follow.

Amos On both sides.

Dave But sports is gonna teach you that.

Amos Sports is gonna teach you that a lot. You are hands down correct on that.

Dave But that's this whole thing with the relationship. Yeah. W- it doesn't just matter about money or it's how you manage a relationship, right, and how you do that. Obviously, communication, right, and being upfront. But, like, when it comes to money, it is, I, in, in my honest opinion It's if you don't grow up with it, it's something you do have to learn

Amos You have to.

Amos Right? I'm talking to clients now that are coming into more wealth than before, and it's interesting to [00:34:00] hear them actually say, "I don't have a good relationship

Dave with money." Protect

Amos me. And they know that, yeah. Protect me. I, protect me. That's the sen- the s-

Dave I know I'm making it, but I know I could blow it.

Amos Yeah. Yeah.

Dave Please don't let that happen to

Amos me. I don't know where it's going. and it's so interesting to me te- people are coming out and saying it, but we were brought up under a different generation where it was a little tougher. Like I said, there was no participation trophy. No. And what will happen with the generation coming up now where, "Don't worry, you were number 10 out of 11, but here's the trophy- No

Amos for participating."

Dave I think- You know, what,

Amos what, ...

Dave I, I think we grew up with parents that took a dollar and made it stretch like 10.

Amos Oh, my gosh.

Dave and you don't realize that when you're a kid, but when you're an adult and you're like, "Wait, you did all of this on that salary? How?"

Amos I don't even know how mom

Dave did it.

Dave Right? And it's like you don't really appreciate that as a kid till you get older and you're a parent and you're spending money. You're like, "Wait, Ma, how did you..." Like I'm con- I'm, I'm overwhelmed.

Dave How did you do [00:35:00] that, right? Like, and, and then it t- it... You look back and it's like, okay, I, I do need to be smarter or I need, I do need to do better with this money that I'm making because- Yes

Dave you're gonna, you're gonna make mistakes. Everybody's gonna make mistakes. And that's

Amos fine.

Dave It's

Amos fine.

Dave It's learning from

Amos them. You should learn from your mistakes.

Dave Right.

Amos So you know what? I, I, I'll end it here, unless you have some solid comments, coming to give us. But, someone once said, and we've all heard this probably before, "If you take all the money in the world and you equally distribute it-" Still

Dave gonna be poor people

Amos "the money will still end up in the same hands." And that is honestly what I believe to be the truth.

Dave So I think the- I, if you wanna better yourself-

Amos ...

Dave and the odds are against you, right? And you're saying seek information, I know you, you're big on that. For instance, this woman that we spoke about earlier.

Dave Yeah. She's on food stamps. She takes the funds that she gets from food stamps-

Amos ...

Dave to buy baking [00:36:00] products and sell, whether it be cookies or brownies, to become an entrepreneur.

Amos Yeah.

Dave Did she break the law?

Amos Technically, yes. What she got from doing what she did was proof of concept and understanding she has the ability to. She did it by breaking the law, which a lot of people do anyway, right? But,

Dave So what's, so, A- would you say because she's on food stamps and her situation, obviously she's, she would appear to have a bad relationship with money?

Amos No. I would really wanna know what caused her to be in the situation in the first place, right? Maybe that was what she grew up on. But you can clearly see her mindset is different. She's not stuck on it. She's... H- honestly, what she's doing is what people do on the higher level, which is leverage debt.

Amos The only difference is it's not [00:37:00] debt.

Dave Right.

Amos She's leveraging-

Dave The government's money ...

Amos the government's money-

Dave To

Amos make more money ... and everybody else's money to make more money. So-

Dave Well, the people, people leverage the SBA if you wanna be technical.

Amos Boom. There you go. If you wanna be technical. What's the difference with the SBA?

Amos They take it back. Right. Whereas this one- She's not ... you know, take it back through EBT. Yeah. Right. So that's where the stealing comes in, right? And that's where I guess the government is trying to shut- ... down a lot of that, and reduce the funding to prevent stuff like that. I love the ingenuity.

Amos there's a black and white answer, there's a gray answer. I love the gray answer 'cause I love the ingenuity. But I understand

Dave the reality of it, of what you're saying. The

Amos reality of it is... And the question would be, were there alternatives, alternative ways to do it? 'Cause it, it, you can't say-

Amos she needed the food stamps because she definitely l- flipped it. I

Dave think she's just the- Or got

Amos soft. She- She's, she's- No ...

Dave she's a hustler that was trying to come up that saw, a way to use what they were giving her to make more for herself. And unfortunately, Just give me- ... she didn't find the right loophole.

Dave America's built on loopholes.

Amos Man, listen, I [00:38:00] told you one time, the tax codes are written for the wealthy and the underprivileged.

Amos It goes to the next thing I wanna say, which is we are currently... You said, the e- eradication of the US dynasty. I say we are watching, you say real time, I think it's 2X times, right?

Amos The eradication of the middle class, and I've been saying it for a while. I think what the real challenge may be is we need to change the American dream. It's no longer I wanna buy a house, picket fence, get a dog, and a car, or whatever else it was. That's unaffordable for someone that's in the middle class, 'cause really and truly, in the next few years there will only be upper and lower.

Dave Right.

Amos There will be no middle class.

Dave Which is scary.

Amos Is it scary, though? Because I, I, I also said before in the past, the middle class was always a, an in between, kind of like a purgatory. Kind of like we have to make a decision, we're gonna go right or left. It's a fork on the road. It's [00:39:00] not a place to stay at.

Amos There is no solid ground in the middle class. If you think about it, you're gonna go through the middle class on your decline in wealth, or you're gonna go through the middle cli- class on your climb in wealth. Where did you start in the middle class? If your family was middle class, that's fine.

Amos Doesn't mean you are middle class. 'Cause a middle class family is able to set you up to be lower class with the education to get out. That's typically what happens to middle class families, right?

Amos We have enough to take you through school, but we're not giving you money to start off.

Amos Upper class is a little different.

Dave Right.

Amos So I think what's been happening is people are finally... They're not seeing it, but what's finally happening is middle class is crumbling. That ground is shifting.

Dave they pull the rug from the middle class.

Amos Man, there was nothing underneath that rug in the first place.

Dave Right. But they literally with, when they,when you go to the supermarket and it's $11 for two bags of chips-

Amos that's, that-

Dave that's shooting the middle class.

Amos That's, that, yeah, that's, [00:40:00] that's wild. That's-

Dave You know what I mean? And that's a sale price.

Amos That's-

Dave That's not, you know ... wild ... you caught it on sale.

Amos That's just what makes me wanna go healthy. Look, everybody, another episode. Amazing to have my guy Dave Alexander here.

Amos Tales of endless rewards- Available everywhere ... if you're with family. I, I cannot stress it enough. We're talking about the conversations we need to be having with our family. It starts from the little ones on the way up, even for the adults, man. If The Alchemist is a bit too complex, if The Richest Man in Babylon is a bit too complex, get them- The basics

Amos started here ... the

Dave basics, the basics

Amos Get them started here. Dave, appreciate you again. Thanks for tuning

Dave in.

Amos My guy. Speak to you all later.